Same Ole Story

[MsMartha]

Hello again,

I am posting here again even though not many people ever respond. As I read through the threads, I see my story or some version of it over and over again. So, my guess is you guys are tired of hearing the same ole thing. My problem is that I can't seem to get myself out of my situation. Too afraid to leave my cheating man cause I keep thinking he's gonna change, and I will miss out on his huge potiential to be an awesome dude!!!

 

Some of you know I came here thinking he was cheating. And then within 7 days I actually caught him at it. I am still with hi. I suck I know. My family memebers are tired of hearing it. My friends don't answer the phone unless I call to wish them happy holidays. No conversation about my man please.

 

My heart aches and my self esteem does not exist. We still have a project from our job, but since I found a replacement it seems they "need" me more than before. I keep making "plans" to leave. But, then I see him and my heart melts and I want it to work so bad.

 

Why can't I let go?

 

Why do I want this man?

 

I still think he's cheating, but now I can't prove it. He's sooo gaurded....

 

Someone once said to a cheater, after being asked to come back"One is too many and a thousand is never enough!"

I didn't understand at first, but now I get it. Even if I proove he's stil doing it will I leave? I've accepted him back and now I feel powerless.

And to top it off, alone utterly alone.

 

I've joined a gym to try and get my mind clear but I've only gone once.

Just need to know from other people who are like me that I'm not an alien. Yes, I know I should kick this zero to the curb, but I don't have that strength yet. Yes, I know should respect myself more, but saying it is one thing and doing it is another.

 

I gotta move on, and I will keep trying I just need help and support I guess. This is pretty sad as I read this I feel like I'm begging strangers for help. But, I want to climb out of this abyss and overpower the part of me that is addicted to him.....

 

Help please.....

[ElvenPriestess]

Stop trying to see the potential he could be and see what is really there. Stop tearing yourself apart. Stop excusing his actions by staying with him. He will continue. So leave him. Get past the pain and on to a better life. I hate cheaters, and there is no excuse for them. Only by leaving do you stop condoning.

[LakesideDream]

You have all the information and evidence you need to make your decision. You also seem to have the knowledge.

 

You are held back by esteem problems, and possibly financial (?) problems?

 

You lack of responses probably stem from the fact that you know what's reasonable to do, and refuse to do it.

[MsMartha]

Yes, thank you for reading and taking the time to reply. I guess I am looking for people who are currently where I am. Yes, I know what I should do. I promised to give him another chance and my heart can't forgive.

 

Knowing what to do is easy. I guess I need to figure out how to get him out of my heart. So that's why I am here just looking for support. I'll take what you've said with me in my mind. Now for the emotional part of me, I am just not strong enough. I know I will get there. I believe in me, but at the same time I don't believe in me. Sad, I know, but true.

 

I'll just keep posting maybe someone who has taken over a year or two to leave can relate to what I am going through? Anyone?

 

Once again, I really thank you for replying at least I feel less alone.

[LakesideDream]

You can get people out of your life fairly easily. Getting them out of your heart is more difficult.

 

I can tell you from experiance that only time and resolve will "get him out of your heart". As time goes by without contact the power he has over your heart will lessen.

 

Ending realtionships is always a problem. Unless you catch a SO in a crime, or cheating red handed, there is always a grey area.

 

Change takes time. Try an be paitient.