Guys height in comaprison to the women he likes.

[DutchGuy]

Yes. That's what men who won't date women who are taller than them are essentially saying.

Maybe they're not attracted to taller women?

 

I never said it wasn't important. What I am inferring is those who include or exclude someone out based purely on a physical attribute. That's looking at someone for what they are and not WHO they are.

So you would date a man if he had a wonderful personality? Or would you exclude him only because he was a man (something that for some men is only the outside)

 

Agreed, but none of those attributes are based on WHO the person is. You are not defined by your money or career or anything of the sort. What it comes down to is personality. You CAN be defined by what you own or how much money you have, but only if you allow your sense of self worth to be determined by such things

I think that excluding everybody that doesn't share your interests in Star Trek is a selection on personality.

 

Political stance I might understand. Faith is something completely different and has much more of an impact than what candidate you are backing. None of that has an effect on whether you are pleasing God or not.

Hey, I'm not religious but I perfectly understand it if I was turned down because of my beliefs. I also understand if somebody turns me down because I have other political views. If somebody feels they could never be with somebody like that, than that is their choice and it takes two to tango.

 

Never said it didn't. But dating an ugly old billionaire because he's a billionaire and not because you love the person he is, does.

Maybe that being a billionaire gives him such statue and confidence that it makes him appealing. Saying: "He is a billionaire" is an answer to both "what is he" as "who is he".

 

Pursuing a relationship with someone based on a physical attribute is completely irrational and I am willing to bet, causes a huge chunk of problems we are all facing on this forum. We see the "red flags" yet we ignore them because that person, in our eyes at least, is "hot." Yes, their physical attributes might draw them to you but it will not hold a relationship together alone nor will it be a healthy one.

Agreed, but I have no romantic interest in people I don't find attractive physically. Now there's, for me personally, a difference between 'finding attractive' and 'preferred': I might prefer blondes but could still be attracted to brunettes. A woman could prefer a taller man, find an equally tall man still attractive, and don't feel attracted to shorter men at all.

 

I don't disagree with what you are saying. I simply do not believe that making someone's physical attributes the most important aspect when choosing whether or not to pursue a relationship is a good idea. I think it's a sure path to relationship failure.

Agreed. But I also feel that way if you choose a partner only because of their personallity, totally disregarding their physical appearance, unless you're both blind.

 

It's just not good practice to include or exclude someone from your dating pool simply based on a/many physical attributes.

It is if you're not attracted to them. Should I be pissed of at lesbians because they exclude me from their dating pool? After all, they only judge me because of my appearance.

[CaliGuy]

Maybe they're not attracted to taller women?

 

That's not what is inferred when one says "I won't date a woman taller than me." He didn't say "I am not attracted to tall women." Big difference.

So you would date a man if he had a wonderful personality? Or would you exclude him only because he was a man (something that for some men is only the outside)

If I was gay, sure. The point is simply personality > physical attributes.

 

I think that excluding everybody that doesn't share your interests in Star Trek is a selection on personality.

That has nothing to do with this conversation, but no it doesn't. Whether you like Star Trek or not is probably not going to be a deal breaker.

 

Hey, I'm not religious but I perfectly understand it if I was turned down because of my beliefs. I also understand if somebody turns me down because I have other political views. If somebody feels they could never be with somebody like that, than that is their choice and it takes two to tango.

Yep. But that decision was not made on physical appearances but something on a much higher and deeper level: Spirituality.

 

Maybe that being a billionaire gives him such statue and confidence that it makes him appealing. Saying: "He is a billionaire" is an answer to both "what is he" as "who is he".

Find me a beautiful young woman that married an ugly, rich old man for LOVE and I will show you a farce.

 

Agreed, but I have no romantic interest in people I don't find attractive physically. Now there's, for me personally, a difference between 'finding attractive' and 'preferred': I might prefer blondes but could still be attracted to brunettes. A woman could prefer a taller man, find an equally tall man still attractive, and don't feel attracted to shorter men at all.

My best relationships have always been with someone who I was not initially attracted to physically. But once I got to know them and realize what a great person they were, my affection for them grew. I believe that is the best way to start a relationship. There is no doubt that physical attraction is important and has it's place in the initial stages of a relationship, but also remember that people's bodies do change. We do get old. Things sag. We don't keep our looks forever. So if the main reason you are attracted to someone is their physical appearance then when that goes, what will be left?

'Tis better to learn who they are first and keep your hormones on the back burner.

 

Agreed. But I also feel that way if you choose a partner only because of their personallity, totally disregarding their physical appearance, unless you're both blind.

Again, I never said physical is out of the equation. I said physical appearances change. Personalities rarely do. I guess what I am getting at here is that personality should be most important. Physical can surely be on that list, but not the main reason for the reasons I listed above.

 

It is if you're not attracted to them. Should I be pissed of at lesbians because they exclude me from their dating pool? After all, they only judge me because of my appearance.

No, you shouldn't be ticked off at anyone who excludes you from their dating pool because that is one less person getting in the way of you meeting the RIGHT one. Attraction comes in many forms and is built over time with personality. But relationships built with personality as the main factor tend to last much longer and are more fulfilling than those based on physical attributes.

 

What if your mate chose you based on physical attributes alone? What do you think is going to happen if she meets someone who she feels has better physical qualities than you? Well, you had better have a good personality to back up the good looks or you'll be out of luck.

 

Cheers.

[CaliGuy]

As I've said in other similar threads....

 

I'm tall and slender. 6'0' to 6'1" depending on who does the measuring....(my mom vs my old basketball coach )

 

I'm married to a guy who is shorter than me at 5'10" to 5'11".

It doesn't bother him, because he always dated girls my height. Has a thing for that, it seems.

 

It doesn't bother me, because it doesn't bother him.

 

But, most of the guys I dated, back when I was dating, were taller than me.

 

I wear up to 2.5" heels when I feel like it. I figure if it bothers someone, then f*ck 'em.

 

I personally think it's silly to make preconceived judgements about people because of things like height.

JMO.

 

Oh. And Saxis? If you never met any model-esque gals who weren't just full of themselves, then you must not have been looking in the right places. Sorry about that for you.

 

Thanks for posting this. Good info for people to learn from.

 

God doesn't measure men by the size of their bodies, but by the size of their hearts.

[Florida]

I was wondering what type of height should the guy be comapred to the girl. Would it be okay if the girl was like 3 inches taller?

 

When I see a taller girl with the guy, I immediately think that guy must have something extra special going for him and think they must be a really good couple (put your dirty thoughts away!) :p

[CaliGuy]

When I see a taller girl with the guy, I immediately think that guy must have something extra special going for him and think they must be a really good couple (put your dirty thoughts away!) :p

 

Maybe I should call up my 6'2" ex up and see if she wants to walk around town with me? haha.

[Green]

When I see a taller girl with the guy, I immediately think that guy must have something extra special going for him and think they must be a really good couple (put your dirty thoughts away!) :p

 

you think that because alot of women even short women like tall men

[Florida]

you think that because alot of women even short women like tall men

 

Nah, mostly because it is just rarer to see someone be unique enough to go against the grain and follow their heart, rather than the herd.

 

It takes more nerve for the girl, because automatically the first thing people notice is the height disparity.

 

But that does not make a good reason to go for the tall guy instead.

 

Never underestimate the power of the lemming effect.

[Green]

Nah, mostly because it is just rarer to see someone be unique enough to go against the grain and follow their heart, rather than the herd.

 

It takes more nerve for the girl, because automatically the first thing people notice is the height disparity.

 

But that does not make a good reason to go for the tall guy instead.

 

Never underestimate the power of the lemming effect.

 

So you think women like tall men because of a lemming effect? I really doubt that. I personaly think tall people look better. Im not saying I wouldn't date a girl who isn't tall like a model. But I truely like the way tall people look

[D-Lish]

We all have our preferences.... it's 100% natural to have a certain person catch your eye. That same person doesn't catch everyone's eye.

 

You can't fault yourself or feel guilty for being physically attracted to someone.... because that's what nature intends in order to keep the species populating.

 

What seperates us from the animal kingdom is that we posess cognitive abilities, have culture and media and superior socialization.... All these things shape the mates we seek.

 

So we can meet someone and actually develop an attraction based on chemistry that isn't governed by the physical element.

 

pft, height doesn't bug me so much. It starts with the face- often the smile.... and I go from there. If their personality sucks- then I can walk away.

 

Black hair and blue eyes often get me going... but I've dated lots of blondes.... I can't predict chemistry- it just is what is is.

 

My ex husband was a tad shorter than me.... I never really noticed for some reason... I think because everything else just overshadowed that.

[DutchGuy]

If I was gay, sure. The point is simply personality > physical attributes.

I agree that personality>physical attributes, but you started out judging people with strong physical preferences. And being gay or straight is about excluding an entire sex only because of their appearance.

Nothing wrong with that, but I want to point out that you can't call those people shallow or insecure.

[BUENG1]

I agree that personality>physical attributes, but you started out judging people with strong physical preferences. And being gay or straight is about excluding an entire sex only because of their appearance.

Nothing wrong with that, but I want to point out that you can't call those people shallow or insecure.

 

 

Being attracted to one sex or another is obviously much more than physical appearance(you can't conceive children, it might be against your religion, and the whole sex issue obviously). Apples and Oranges

[DutchGuy]

Being attracted to one sex or another is obviously much more than physical appearance(you can't conceive children, it might be against your religion, and the whole sex issue obviously). Apples and Oranges

 

Would you not date the love of your life if he/she was infertile? Same thing.

If you can't date the people you like because of your religion, you need to change religion, not your partner(s).

Sex what? Purely physical attraction.

[shadowplay]

I like to wear heels, so I'd be uncomfortable around a guy who was less than three inches taller. I dated a guy who was only an inch or two taller than me once, and I always felt like a giant next to him in heels.

[Florida]

So you think women like tall men because of a lemming effect?

 

Not entirely, some really do find it more appealing, others unconsciously are attracted to very tall because they want to show-as a symbol- to others that their value is high because they can *snag* the *coveted* tall guy.

 

I just don't think enough people examine their motives too often. Most often it is not aesthetic, as it is for you, but sometimes it isno more than a show of social power.

 

Aesthetically speaking only:

 

Sometimes it is good the guy is tall, because that makes up for maybe being plain looking. If he was shorter, he would lose his appeal.

 

But if a guy has a really handsome face, and proportioned figure- height doesn't matter as much. Aesthetically speaking, of course.

[Tripper]

I was wondering what type of height should the guy be comapred to the girl. Would it be okay if the girl was like 3 inches taller?

 

Does it matter?? Like the old saw goes... "When you're toes to toes your nose is in it and when you're nose to nose your toes is in it!!"

[CaliGuy]

I agree that personality>physical attributes, but you started out judging people with strong physical preferences. And being gay or straight is about excluding an entire sex only because of their appearance.

Nothing wrong with that, but I want to point out that you can't call those people shallow or insecure.

 

Yes, I can IF they make a blanket statement regarding a physical attribute and who they will or will not date. At least for men.

 

Because if a man says "I will never date a woman who is taller than me", what is he really telling you?

 

I don't like tall women?

 

Nope.

 

He's saying "I'm insecure about my height."

[CaliGuy]

Would you not date the love of your life if he/she was infertile? Same thing.

If you can't date the people you like because of your religion, you need to change religion, not your partner(s).

Sex what? Purely physical attraction.

 

No. You do not "change your religion." It's not quite as simple as that.

[johan]

Short guys should just give up.

[shadowplay]

I actually know a guy (good friend of mine) who is considering getting painful leg extension surgery eventually (a year in a wheelchair)! I think it's totally crazy. He's about 5'7"/5'8". I could see if he was like 5', but he's still within the normal range and could attract plenty of women at his height.

[Art_Critic]

When I was in the dating game I had never dated a girl taller than me.. I'm 5'9" I have dated women from 5'2" thru 5'8" though and really could care a less about height..

 

Women are really the ones that seem to have height requirements..

I have never understood a woman that was 5'5" that would only date guys over 6'..

Like height means anything in the long run...

 

Those same women are the ones that complain that there are no good men out there

[DutchGuy]

Yes, I can IF they make a blanket statement regarding a physical attribute and who they will or will not date. At least for men.

 

Because if a man says "I will never date a woman who is taller than me", what is he really telling you?

 

I don't like tall women?

 

Nope.

 

He's saying "I'm insecure about my height."

 

I would never date a woman with big muscles and I'm not insecure about my build at all.

I just don't find it attractive.

[CaliGuy]

I would never date a woman with big muscles and I'm not insecure about my build at all.

I just don't find it attractive.

 

Height is a different issue. Men are much more insecure about height than they are muscles.

 

I've never seen a woman with big muscles. And I work out at the gym a lot.

[CaliGuy]

When I was in the dating game I had never dated a girl taller than me.. I'm 5'9" I have dated women from 5'2" thru 5'8" though and really could care a less about height..

 

Women are really the ones that seem to have height requirements..

I have never understood a woman that was 5'5" that would only date guys over 6'..

Like height means anything in the long run...

 

Those same women are the ones that complain that there are no good men out there

 

I've never understood height requirements either. I laugh when I see them, but whatever floats their boat.

 

And I've never heard of a man, regardless of height, say I need a woman at least xx tall.

 

I kind of understand the "concept" of women needing to feel secure therefore requesting a "tall" man, but that's never really made complete sense to me. What are they doing that they need to feel "protected" over and what makes them think a 5'6" guy couldn't whip a 6'2" guy?

 

See: Bruce Lee.

[DutchGuy]

Height is a different issue. Men are much more insecure about height than they are muscles.

 

I've never seen a woman with big muscles. And I work out at the gym a lot.

Actually a lot of guys are selfconscious about their muscles.

I'm not trying to pick on you but I think you are much more insecure about height.

[DutchGuy]

I've never understood height requirements either. I laugh when I see them, but whatever floats their boat.

 

And I've never heard of a man, regardless of height, say I need a woman at least xx tall.

 

I kind of understand the "concept" of women needing to feel secure therefore requesting a "tall" man, but that's never really made complete sense to me. What are they doing that they need to feel "protected" over and what makes them think a 5'6" guy couldn't whip a 6'2" guy?

 

See: Bruce Lee.

 

That's like saying that guys with big hands should date women with big breasts and the guys with small hands women with small breasts.