matts5517 Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 i have been with my girlfriend for almost three years now and love her very much. we are both in college and have been having problems on and off for about a year now. i think they are my fault. about a year ago i started feeling trapped in the realationship so we took a break or at least thats what we said but it turned out to be an unlimited number of free passes for me as she wasnt doing anything. then i went to college and fooled around with many girls and informed her about all of the as was her request and i could tell this was hurting her just like any human being would. even my friends would be amazed that i could have a steady girlfriend and still do what i want. well when i came home for break this year i was at a party and i was making out with a girl and my girlfriend saw me and lost it. i should also mention that i was not supposed to fool around when at home. so the next day she broke up with me over the phone and i agreed because i felt like i was hurting her to much. we were going to try to work it out, but now she is saying that she doesnt know if she can ever love me again its mine and her fault that this is happening she should have never let me do this Any advice on what i should do or thoughts Link to post Share on other sites
ElvenPriestess Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 If you were with her but still capable of doing what you did then I don't think there's anything left here. Let her go to find what she wants. Happiness. Did she mess around with anyone? Link to post Share on other sites
EYECANDY000 Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 Im sure you love your g/f to pieces because you have been together 3 years , but it seems like since you guys decided to give each other some time , you enjoyed the single life! I would quit hurting her and just leave her alone. Im sure she is hurting so bad and just needs to move on with her life. I think you are potentially going to scar this girl for life! and she would never trust a man again, or she will have no self esteem and feel like any rrelationship she is in thats its ok to cheat on her Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 its mine and her fault that this is happening she should have never let me do this Any advice on what i should do or thoughts It's only your fault. You can't really blame her for your crappy actions. Most guys do the right thing as a matter of course. What your really need to do is apologize to her and let her know that you love her enough to let her go. Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 (edited) its mine and her fault that this is happening she should have never let me do this You gotta be kidding me, matt. "She should never have let me do this"? You're not on a leash, nor should you be. Take responsibility for the fact that you did whatever you wanted, knowing full well that it was hurting her. You even did it in front of her! So, she finally got fed up with it all. Good for her. And now that she has, the nicest thing you can do is let her move on. Edited January 10, 2008 by serial muse Link to post Share on other sites
Carmen87 Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 First, this isn't her fault. She did not force you to fool around with all those girls. Do the poor girl a favor and leave her alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Jordane Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 I really hope she doesn't take you back! For you to have the nerve to blame her AT ALL for what you need REPEATEDLY is ridiculous!!! You don't deserve her...you apparently have no real remorse... Link to post Share on other sites
cmack345 Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 don't blame this on her, she was trying to be a good girlfriend, and let you do what you want so that you wouldn't leave her. if she said don't fool around with anyone, or talk to any girls, you would have dumped her assss. the only rule was don't hookup with anyone at home, which you did. now you make her look like an idiot, when she saw you, and most likely your mutual friends. do you really think you can mistreat women this way. your lucky she let you fool around in college, she must have really loved you. to have to deal with the pain of the one she loved fooling around, and her accepting it and still going out with you. wow...... Link to post Share on other sites
cmack345 Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 annnddd.. just leave her alone, you dont deserve her. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 Leave her alone. You have caused her enough heartbreak. This is not her fault AT ALL. Grow up and realise you cannot treat people so disgustingly. If you can't be faithful, then don't be in a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
KenzieAbsolutely Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 thanks for catching us all up on the latest newport beach episode. grow up, take some responsibility for yourself, and let your girlfriend go. she deserves better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author matts5517 Posted January 11, 2008 Author Share Posted January 11, 2008 i wasnt trying to blame it on her i was just to stupid to realize that i was hurting her so much i guess i kind of had a blindfold on and didnt care about her as much as i thought until after i lost her if she told me to stop ****ing around with girls i would have stopped Link to post Share on other sites
Jordane Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 She shouldn't have to tell you to stop... Link to post Share on other sites
Author matts5517 Posted January 11, 2008 Author Share Posted January 11, 2008 do you ever feel when ur in a realationship that you need more well that is what i needed and i tried to break up with her but she would not let me go this was all her idea i did not want to hurt her she thought she could handle it Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 do you ever feel when ur in a realationship that you need more well that is what i needed and i tried to break up with her but she would not let me go this was all her idea i did not want to hurt her she thought she could handle it So what do you want now? If you still want to break up with her, then it looks like you have finished the job, now she can let you go, and you can both move on with your lives. In this case my advice is to let her go, don't drag things out and make it worse for her. On the other hand, if now you're saying "boo hoo, I really want to get back together," then I think it's pretty much too far down that road. Even irrespective of the "rules" that you guys had set up, if you were already messing around with other girls then I think you've broken your bond with her, even if she didn't realize it until later. So what is it that you want here? Link to post Share on other sites
KenzieAbsolutely Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 guess what? if you decide to break up with someone, and you tell them you're broken up, you're still broken up even if the other person objects. if you stick around and let that person tell you you're not really broken up, and you continue in a relationship with her, then you haven't really broken up. this is as much your fault because you're using technicalities to get away with creepy behaviour. if you don't want to be with this girl, don't. she can't tie you down and make you be with her. and then you can be free to mess around with whoever you please. Link to post Share on other sites
Author matts5517 Posted January 11, 2008 Author Share Posted January 11, 2008 what i would like to do is think about the long term future and not lose contact with her like everyone is saying. im not saying relationship but just to be friends, we had a good thing before and she says she still loves me but i dont know if i believe her Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 "Friends" can only work if you both have the same expectations, clearly scommunicated. If either of you are hiding your true feelings - whether stronger or weaker than you are saying to the other - or if either of you can't trust that the other is being honest, then you will continue to have tension and misunderstanding. And if she does still love you, it is possible that she will say she accepts the "friends" role and still harbor an unstated longing for you. You will not be doing her any favors by doing the "friends" thing in this case - it will continue to eat at her as you date others, etc... You are already way down the path of miscommunication, if there is any way to make things better in the future, you will need better, clearer, more honest communication, not more excuses and made up "rules" to cover up your and her real feelings and intentions. Link to post Share on other sites
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