Why are guys mean to the women they like?

January 9, 2008

There is this guy who I flirt with all the time and vice/versa. He stares at me constantly, has an obsession with my name, introduces me to people he knows I know just to be funny, and always has a smirk on his face. It seems are relationship is one big joke. The only problem is with all this flirting, he can get really nasty. Just plain mean to me! I usually ignore it and tell myself that the only reason he is being like that is because he has feelings for me. Although, he plays cat and mouse and has a severe peter pan complex, I wonder why I give in to it. I mean aren't I suppose to be the one that he's chasing? I'm not trying to sound concieted, but I know I am not an ugly girl. I have a nice figure and pretty face, so when he says things like "Oh why don't you look in the mirror" (even as a joke) I wonder why he does it. He is so bi-polar in his moods. I just hate this game. I hate the fact that he is always on my mind. The guys he hangs around treat me like dirt too, and that is probably because he does. I don't understand.. Please help!

Edited January 9, 2008 by makemyblackrosesred

January 9, 2008

Geeze, you need to stand up for yourself with him and these other friends of his. wtf? That's just cruel. How old is he? An adult I presume? He needs to act like it. That sort of behavior is just mean. Stand up for yourself next time. I don't get what his deal is either.

January 9, 2008

Not all men are mean to women they like. Some of us are nice, affectionate, and friendly to the women we like.

It sounds like this guy is pretty immature to me, and I don't think you should put up with it.

But I would also suggest that you figure out what it is that you are getting from the way he treats you, and try to figure out a healthier way to get that need met. That will also help you to not put up with the trashy way he and his friends treat you.

Edited January 9, 2008 by alterego1234
added an additional thought

January 9, 2008

Girls get attracted to mean guys. It's just how it is. Smart guys know this and use it to their advantage. Normal guys honest with their attitudes get pissed a lot and therefore everything comes to them. There are even websites about this. Dont know names, but I've heard about this all the time and seen it in person. Looking back it worked for me earlier in college when I wasn't really trying. Like you? He probably wants to sleep with you. He doesn't want to waste his time or effort to have a serious relationship, if he liked you long term he would probably treat you like you wanted to be treated.

Ahh why does it work? I don't know. You're a girl, you tell me. I had a whole post about this topic earlier. "why do girls like *******s".

You seem sweet and kind of naive. If you care about yourself and how you're treated find some better guy out there.

Peace

Edited January 9, 2008 by j_hunt_12

January 9, 2008

THE THRONE says this guy is into you but he is going a bit overboard. There is a certain lady THE THRONE would like to get to know better, and she and THE THRONE constantly flirt everytime they see each other. THE THRONE always gets on her about a lack of cooking skills (he did this around thanksgiving time), and he told her she got coal for xmas (like a day or two after xmas.) She was laughing after the xmas incident and said, "You're always clowning me, what did I do to deserve all this?", and by "this" she was referring to me teasing her. My cohort saw the entire ordeal, and when THE THRONE was driving his four door chariot to THRONEVILLE his cohort said, "You better close the deal with her because she's really diggin you." THE THRONE just smirked and said, "In due time my friend...in due time."

Now here are some things you need to be wary of:

He stares at me constantly

Staring and eye contact are two different things, which one is he doing?

has an obsession with my name

Obsession is a VERY strong word. If your name was "Mary", and everytime he saw you he smiled and changed it to something that sounded similar like "Larry", "Sherry" or "Cary" would that denote obsession?

and always has a smirk on his face.

No one on the face of this planet should always have a smirk on their face. He may be trying to play the cocky and funny role, but pay attention to two words THE THRONE said--trying and play. When people are "natural" or "real" they don't go overboard with this stuff and they know when to speak, when not to speak, what to say and how to say it. However, the he went about it he succeeded because you can't get the guy out of your head, and you're questioning why he isn't chasing you (because you're attractive blah blah blah.)

The main thing you need to be concerned about now is how he treats you around his friends. If he really treats you like crap around his buddies you need to walk away fast.

January 9, 2008

Well J-Hunt he is older..he definetly should know better. He loves toying with me. He gets off on it I think. I wish I could take a magic potion to forget about him, but theres nothing I can do. He's got me where he wants me and he knows how to manipulate me to do what he wants. I think being mean is his way of not making it obvious that he likes me. For instance he'll whisper about me to someone and make it noticable so I go up to that person and be like what'd he say? All they tell me he said is lets pretend we are talking about her or he'll call me by my first and last name like he loves saying it..so when I'm not paying attention to him i'll look up. He is very egotistical and loves that I ask about him. He checks me out and when he looks into my eyes I melt. We have chemistry. I've noticed too that he doesn't like it when I am serious with him..or try and have a serious discussion, he somehow makes it into a joke at my expense. or if I talk to a guy he'll be like "you dont wanna know her" or he'll say "he doesn't want you to talk to him" its so odd..its like he pushes guys away from me, yet does it in away that they think he doesn't like me. You know what? I am not the commitment type either. All I want is a one night stand..but I dont know if he wants that. I don't know what he wants anymore..