xMM wants to meet!!

[whichwayisup]

I agree with you, but on the surface I look like there is nothing wrong. Noone can tell anything is wrong with me except everyone on Ls and mm. I am doing everything I normally would do in a day and not letting anything slack. I look to the outside person like I am a happy person with no real problems.

 

All the more reason to stop this affair from continuing. You are now KNOWINGLY hurting and betraying your husband and your kids. Living a lie daily and about to live a double life again. STOP, please. Get to counselling and distance yourself from MM.

 

Well I think he wants to get busted so once again I am giving him what he wants. Why else would he engage in such dangerous behaviour. All along through the A he always wanted to put us in situation where someone could come in at any minute.

 

If I would of followed his lead we would of been caught along time ago. He wants to get busted but not by H, but by his W. He always wanted to do it in her bedroom or on the couch she always sits on. Now he wants to do it where he knows my H sits. I think he thinks a hotel is too inconvient. Sick!!!

 

What's sick is, you allowing him to play you like this when you KNOW deep down inside this is just so wrong and you DO have the power to make him stop. Problem is, you don't want it to stop.

 

Why are you engaging in this dangerous behaviour? Again, stop focussing on why HE is doing this and that, focus on YOU and your reasons why you are putting your own life in a stupid situation (again) and playing with fire.

 

It is ironic you say that because he said that I am hurting my family and he is trying to stop me. He is tryin to save both of us from hurting our families. He said by us being friends I have stopped us from doing so and you meaning me are the one who wants to jeopardize the kids happiness. I believe the word is gaslighting.

 

More manipulation of his behalf. Don't let him gaslight you. What you two are about to do WILL hurt your familys, not protect them at all. Protecting them is ending the A, ending the friendship and just moving away. Right now you are putting everyone in the line of fire....Knowingly. Stop letting him control you and stop believing his words because he is full of sh*t!

 

I just do not understand why he is trying to destroy me and my family? He is always welling up and crying when he tells me how much he cares for me and my kids. Why does he want to control my life? so you think he does not care about me at all or my kids?

 

You are LETTING him help destroy your family. He isn't the only person here doing the destroying so FF, (harsh WWIU here) YOU are responsible for your own actions and your own part in all of this. The crying he does is TOTAL manipulation and he KNOWS that he'll get what he wants from you by doing this and you keep falling for it.

 

If he cared at all about your family he wouldn't be making a f*cking fool of your husband, befriending him, let alone be making moves on you again. I wish you could see that.

 

He probably cares as much as you do about his kids and his wife.........

[bentnotbroken]

At this point I don't think anyone can help her but herself. She has turned a blind eye and a deaf ear, even to people who are in/ have been in her shoes. All you can do for her and her family now is pray.

[forbidden fruit]

Under these circumstances she should. Her only concern is how to hook someone else's husband while tearing her own family apart and putting them on the back burner in case MM decides to leave his W for her. Clearly the best interests of her children are not front and foremost here. They are taking second place to a MM. Not exactly the type of mother a child needs in their life. Their father would provide a much more stable and emotionally healthy environment. If FF wants to pursue a MM, then by all means give up her children first. No sense in dragging them through such a disgusting mess. They'd be better off without that, particularly better off without being exposed in such a way to such a psycho of a MM.

 

 

 

He doesn't want to get caught. He is getting off on the fact that you are helping him humiliate and further cuckold your own husband. He has complete control and power over you. This shows it. If you do it, then this proves it.

 

 

 

You two have already started down the path to ruining your children's lives.

 

 

 

He isn't jealous of anything you have. He only wants to ruin your life because its his to ruin. Because he can. When he is done with you, and your life is in a smoking ruin and his is intact he'll simply move on to the next OW to destroy.

 

 

 

Don't underestimate the BS radar, FF. Your H and his W will catch on before long. You may think you are 'normal' but your subconscious behaviors will betray you. Look on any infidelity board and read a few 'I have gut feelings' threads. They know, they see, they pick up on it.

 

 

 

You are paying attention to the wrong things. He does not want to get caught. He gets off on the thrill of this. He gets off on the power he has over you. He gets off on the idea that he can f*ck you right where his W sits in his home and where your H sits in your home. Its a power trip. A sick superiority complex he has. Its not about getting caught so he can be free to be with you. If he gets caught, he will throw you under the bus so hard that you will break. He has the ability to lie and connive his way out of a dday. You don't. He knows it. He is counting on it.

 

 

 

Too late. You already are hurting your families. He only says this because it is what you need to hear in order to justify being with him. He knows this. He counts on it. He will say and do whatever it takes to keep you under his thumb, FF. Its working too.

 

 

 

Because he can, FF. He gets off on it. He enjoys having the power over a woman to make her tear apart herself and her family for him. When he is done with you, he will move on to the next woman to do this to. He wells up and cries, because he knows that is the way into your heart (pants). He wants to control your life because that is what he gets off on. If it wasn't you, it would be someone else. You are INTERCHANGEABLE. He does not give a rat's ass about you or your family, or even his own. If he did, he would not have started this in the first place. Put it this way. He has put you in a position where you are placing his needs above the ones of your own children and family. Does that sound like someone who cares about your family?

 

He only cares about how well he can jerk your strings and make you dance, FF. He will have you dancing until you have destroyed everything around you and then he will have no more use of you.

 

What kind of person would want to do this to another. How could I have been so way off about this guy?

[forbidden fruit]

What kind of person would want to do this to another. How could I have been so way off about this guy?

 

Why does he make me feel like this is all my fault 100% and he wants to do th right thing. Is it all my fault? i am so messed up I am beginning to think so?

[Meaplus3]

Why does he make me feel like this is all my fault 100% and he wants to do th right thing. Is it all my fault? i am so messed up I am beginning to think so?

 

FF, Why does he make you feel like it's all your fault you ask? Simple....He's a Jerk! He's probably trying to minimize his guilt! It takes two to tango so it both of your fault's! I will pray for you FF!

 

AP:)

[forbidden fruit]

All the more reason to stop this affair from continuing. You are now KNOWINGLY hurting and betraying your husband and your kids. Living a lie daily and about to live a double life again. STOP, please. Get to counselling and distance yourself from MM.

 

 

 

What's sick is, you allowing him to play you like this when you KNOW deep down inside this is just so wrong and you DO have the power to make him stop. Problem is, you don't want it to stop.

 

Why are you engaging in this dangerous behaviour? Again, stop focussing on why HE is doing this and that, focus on YOU and your reasons why you are putting your own life in a stupid situation (again) and playing with fire.

 

 

 

More manipulation of his behalf. Don't let him gaslight you. What you two are about to do WILL hurt your familys, not protect them at all. Protecting them is ending the A, ending the friendship and just moving away. Right now you are putting everyone in the line of fire....Knowingly. Stop letting him control you and stop believing his words because he is full of sh*t!

 

 

 

You are LETTING him help destroy your family. He isn't the only person here doing the destroying so FF, (harsh WWIU here) YOU are responsible for your own actions and your own part in all of this. The crying he does is TOTAL manipulation and he KNOWS that he'll get what he wants from you by doing this and you keep falling for it.

 

If he cared at all about your family he wouldn't be making a f*cking fool of your husband, befriending him, let alone be making moves on you again. I wish you could see that.

 

He probably cares as much as you do about his kids and his

wife.........

 

He says what do you want me to do be mean to your H. He says it is me who is making all the moves and he keeps claiming he wants to be friends and not do anything to jeopardize what we have.

 

He says he needs time to think of what to do and if we have sex we will get caught and then we will have no choice in the matter.

[LucreziaBorgia]

FF, he is setting you up to take all the blame when the sh*t hits the fan. If you feel you are to blame, you will be less likely to turn on him because you will think it was all your fault to begin with. That way, he can keep what he has and you will lose everything and he will tell you ... "well, FF it was all your doing - no one to blame but yourself." That way he gets off free and clear, and you don't.

[forbidden fruit]

FF, he is setting you up to take all the blame when the sh*t hits the fan. If you feel you are to blame, you will be less likely to turn on him because you will think it was all your fault to begin with. That way, he can keep what he has and you will lose everything and he will tell you ... "well, FF it was all your doing - no one to blame but yourself." That way he gets off free and clear, and you don't.

 

Okay so knowing all of this and knowing he is a master manipulator. How do I beat him at his own game?

[LucreziaBorgia]

How do I beat him at his own game?

 

By confessing the entire truth to your husband, and having your husband expose the affair to MM's wife. That will blow him entirely out of the water, and will end this thing once and for all.

[forbidden fruit]

By confessing the entire truth to your husband, and having your husband expose the affair to MM's wife. That will blow him entirely out of the water, and will end this thing once and for all.

 

All that does is hurt my H and my kids beyond repair and in the end his W won't care and she will not kick him out and he will just be more of her slave than he already is now. What I am trying to say is my life will be in shambles and not one thing will happen to him.

 

This I am certain of. He will be fine either way. Heck she probably already knows and said to him as long as it doesn't come out then do what you want. This is the kind of relationship they have.

[bentnotbroken]

All that does is hurt my H and my kids beyond repair and in the end his W won't care and she will not kick him out and he will just be more of her slave than he already is now. What I am trying to say is my life will be in shambles and not one thing will happen to him.

 

This I am certain of. He will be fine either way. Heck she probably already knows and said to him as long as it doesn't come out then do what you want. This is the kind of relationship they have.

 

 

She you are still concerned with what will happen to him. All you should care about is stopping him in his tracks where you and your family are concerned, that's all. It isn't your job to police any future affairs he might have. And you have absolutely no idea how his wife will react.

 

Get off your duff and fight back. Open your eyes your life is already in shambles and on the way to total implosion. Why because you are more concerned with self preservation and punishing someone else. Save your family dammit.

[LucreziaBorgia]

What I am trying to say is my life will be in shambles and not one thing will happen to him.

 

That's how it will end either way. MM is betting on it.

[forbidden fruit]

That's how it will end either way. MM is betting on it.

He is in hiding mode now, because he feels guilty about the other day.

 

This is his pattern. He is scared because he does not know what state I am in. He will wait until he sees my face to see what he is going to do.

 

Maybe he will stay away because he feels bad about the other day. I am not sure how I am going to react when I see him, but right now I am so depressed and confused. Why can't I see him for what he is.

 

He keeps telling me he is always trying to do the right thing and I am ready to bail and hurt everyone.

 

He thinks I want to run off and marry him and while he says he wants the same thing he is looking out for both of our families since I do not!!

[StillSame]

It's clear an no mystery that he is a liar and a cheat and your husband is NOT.

 

What makes you want to run away with him if he will go along with it? Is it because he is better looking than your husband? Better in bed? Is what ever that he can provide worth the damage of your family?

[whichwayisup]

He is full of crap and yes, he knows you are willing to run to him, make a life with him, IF he leaves his wife and kids. You've definately given him that impression, so why would he think anything less than that?

 

Neither of you are doing the right thing right now. The A cannot happen, so don't you go letting him kiss and touch you. The right thing now is to walk away and focus on yourself and your marriage. NO friendship, nothing with him. Go back to a wave, a quick hello and that's it. Or, tell your husband the truth.

[forbidden fruit]

He is full of crap and yes, he knows you are willing to run to him, make a life with him, IF he leaves his wife and kids. You've definately given him that impression, so why would he think anything less than that?

Tell me at some point I will look back on this and think what did I ever see in him and why was I willing to risk everything for somebody like him. what kill me is to everyone he meets he acts like the salt of the earth, the nicest, most outgoing, most charming and funniest guy and then inside lurks evil. How could I be such a bad judge?

[forbidden fruit]

It's clear an no mystery that he is a liar and a cheat and your husband is NOT.

 

What makes you want to run away with him if he will go along with it? Is it because he is better looking than your husband? Better in bed? Is what ever that he can provide worth the damage of your family?

 

He says if he was with me and he wasn't married he would not of done half the stuff he has done to me.

 

If he was with me he would treat me so much better and the only reason he treats his wife this way is because she is controlling and mean to him and let herself go. Is anyone buying this. When he tells me things I just stand there like a stunned animal.

[underpants]

He says if he was with me and he wasn't married he would not of done half the stuff he has done to me.

 

If he was with me he would treat me so much better and the only reason he treats his wife this way is because she is controlling and mean to him and let herself go. Is anyone buying this. When he tells me things I just stand there like a stunned animal.

 

What if your Husband had an affair?

[StillSame]

He says if he was with me and he wasn't married he would not of done half the stuff he has done to me.

 

If he was with me he would treat me so much better and the only reason he treats his wife this way is because she is controlling and mean to him and let herself go. Is anyone buying this. When he tells me things I just stand there like a stunned animal.

 

You're not answering my question. What does he have that your husband doesn't? What can he give you that your husband can't?

[forbidden fruit]

You're not answering my question. What does he have that your husband doesn't? What can he give you that your husband can't?

 

He is the exact opposite of my H. Crazy, spontaneous, not better looking, but different looking. He can be very charming, funny and very sexy.

[forbidden fruit]

What if your Husband had an affair?

If my H had a affair I would understand why because I have been for the past two years not a very good W.

[whichwayisup]

Tell me at some point I will look back on this and think what did I ever see in him and why was I willing to risk everything for somebody like him. what kill me is to everyone he meets he acts like the salt of the earth, the nicest, most outgoing, most charming and funniest guy and then inside lurks evil. How could I be such a bad judge?

 

I wish you'd see that now. You DID see that not too long ago, but you didn't want to let go of him, the idea of you two together.

 

RIGHT NOW YOU DO HAVE THE POWER to end it and not allow yourself to fall back into the A. I hope you find the strength to walk away and not allow the A to happen again.

 

He says if he was with me and he wasn't married he would not of done half the stuff he has done to me.

 

If he was with me he would treat me so much better and the only reason he treats his wife this way is because she is controlling and mean to him and let herself go. Is anyone buying this. When he tells me things I just stand there like a stunned animal.

 

Ofcourse, he would say that. It's a mute point as if he was with you, chances are, he'd be CHEATING on you at some point too. He knows how to play FF. That's for sure. And, if he truly felt awful for treating you this way, he'd stop and leave you alone, not speak to you. Not to try be buddy's and in your life. He would back off and be neighbourly, a hello, goodbye, nice day out, etc...Small chitchat NOTHING else. He hasn't and won't do that because he KNOWS you want him.

 

He is giving you the typical bullcrap lines, my wife is mean to me, blahblahblah. Yeah well, do something about it. Talk to her, stand up to her! Fix your f**ken marriage! Nope, instead he chooses to get off on the high you give him by playing his game. IF he was THAT miserable, he'd either leave his marriage or fix it. Right now he is just getting by on what he feels like doing, and you're helping him along.

[whichwayisup]

He is the exact opposite of my H. Crazy, spontaneous, not better looking, but different looking. He can be very charming, funny and very sexy.

 

So, is that worth throwing away your marriage? Because he's different than your H?

 

He can be all those things, but he can also be very evil, selfish and manipulative, not supportive, not understanding and remember too, he is a narcisisst! Scary people I tell ya!

 

If my H had a affair I would understand why because I have been for the past two years not a very good W.

 

Well, fact that you are aware of this, what are you going to do about it? You admit you've not been a very good wife for 2 years...End the A, end the friendship completely and focus on being a good and loving wife. You can do this FF, if you really want to.

[forbidden fruit]

I wish you'd see that now. You DID see that not too long ago, but you didn't want to let go of him, the idea of you two together.

 

RIGHT NOW YOU DO HAVE THE POWER to end it and not allow yourself to fall back into the A. I hope you find the strength to walk away and not allow the A to happen again.

 

 

 

Ofcourse, he would say that. It's a mute point as if he was with you, chances are, he'd be CHEATING on you at some point too. He knows how to play FF. That's for sure. And, if he truly felt awful for treating you this way, he'd stop and leave you alone, not speak to you. Not to try be buddy's and in your life. He would back off and be neighbourly, a hello, goodbye, nice day out, etc...Small chitchat NOTHING else. He hasn't and won't do that because he KNOWS you want him.

 

He is giving you the typical bullcrap lines, my wife is mean to me, blahblahblah. Yeah well, do something about it. Talk to her, stand up to her! Fix your f**ken marriage! Nope, instead he chooses to get off on the high you give him by playing his game. IF he was THAT miserable, he'd either leave his marriage or fix it. Right now he is just getting by on what he feels like doing, and you're helping him along.

 

Maybe he realized what he has done. I have not seen him all day and maybe he realizes now how close everything was and that he cannot risk it. Maybe on Monday things will be different and he will just say hi and walk away. Maybe he realizes it is all or nothing and our behavior was too risky.

[forbidden fruit]

So, is that worth throwing away your marriage? Because he's different than your H?

 

He can be all those things, but he can also be very evil, selfish and manipulative, not supportive, not understanding and remember too, he is a narcisisst! Scary people I tell ya!

 

 

 

Well, fact that you are aware of this, what are you going to do about it? You admit you've not been a very good wife for 2 years...End the A, end the friendship completely and focus on being a good and loving wife. You can do this FF, if you really want to.

 

I know I can do it, but everytime I do it I feel horrible, sad, depressed and then I see him and I let him back in and the high from that last a little while and then it goes low way low like I am now. So low I cannot even get out of bed.