xMM wants to meet!!

[underpants]

Why can't I see him for who he is and furthermore why does he turn it around on me like it is all my fault and I am the one letting this happen?

 

Google inverted narcissist.

[Meaplus3]

Why can't I see him for who he is and furthermore why does he turn it around on me like it is all my fault and I am the one letting this happen?

 

Because your allowing him to turn in around onto you! Gosh FF, Please save yourself here!! Where's that strength you had to pull away for good?? It was there, I saw it in you!! This mm is a jerk! Don't settle for that.

 

AP:)

[forbidden fruit]

Because you are letting sexual lust and feelings get in the way, that's why. And, he turns it around on you because he knows he has you weak in the knees and can pull the strings, you'll come back to him. FF, he's on a power trip and loving it. It is both of your faults. He just sees that eventually you will cave and so far, everytime, you've proven him right.

 

If you want it all to end, CONFESS everything to your husband, then you and your husband confess everything to his wife. THAT will end it forever.

 

He said to me I don't think you will ever tell and I will never tell. Do you think he wants to get caught because the other day he wanted to have sex in my house and turned it on me like you know you want and I am doing what you want, right?

[Ariadne]

Hi,

 

I love him and if I can't have him 100% then I don't want him at all. It will be final goodbye to him and I will close the door.

 

What kind of stupid love is that?

 

That's not love at all.

 

Ariadne

[forbidden fruit]

Google inverted narcissist.

 

That is funny because I told him that is what I thought his wife was so do you think I am one too?

[whichwayisup]

He is calling your bluff big time and boy he is playing a dangerous game. Scarily enough, I think you're very close to the edge, more than you realize, to confessing everything. It wouldn't take much of a push, or something to happen for you to tell your H. I mean, if your H asks you about what is going on with the MM, TELL HIM THE TRUTH. It's your only way out.

 

FF, I adore you and will PM with you, write to you on here as much as I can to help you. Please seek the therapy because this is beyond loving him, it's an unhealthy obsession and he has you under his thumb. Brainwashed! The counselling will help you see this and help you get strong enough to get away from him.

[whichwayisup]

That is funny because I told him that is what I thought his wife was so do you think I am one too?

 

His wife isn't a narcissist. She is just minding her own business and seem to not be one to hang out with the neighbours and be friendly. She has her life, work, kids, husband (yeah, right) and her own set of friends so she more than likely couldn't care less about being the neighbourhood circle.

 

Do you think you are one?

 

Personally I don't think so. I think the lust/attraction/excitement feeling you have for him has turned into an obsession and it's an unhealthy and sick relationship/friendship/affair going on and it's stuff like this (sorry to say it, write it down here) that leads to crimes of passion. Please, get away from him! IF you let him, he will help ruin your life.

 

Think of your kids.....

[forbidden fruit]

He is calling your bluff big time and boy he is playing a dangerous game. Scarily enough, I think you're very close to the edge, more than you realize, to confessing everything. It wouldn't take much of a push, or something to happen for you to tell your H. I mean, if your H asks you about what is going on with the MM, TELL HIM THE TRUTH. It's your only way out.

 

FF, I adore you and will PM with you, write to you on here as much as I can to help you. Please seek the therapy because this is beyond loving him, it's an unhealthy obsession and he has you under his thumb. Brainwashed! The counselling will help you see this and help you get strong enough to get away from him.

 

Thanks, wwiu he does have me brainwashed. I don't even know what to think anymore about this. He sounds so convincing like he is in fullcontrol of the situation and he is doing everything to save us from ruining the kids lives.

[forbidden fruit]

His wife isn't a narcissist. She is just minding her own business and seem to not be one to hang out with the neighbours and be friendly. She has her life, work, kids, husband (yeah, right) and her own set of friends so she more than likely couldn't care less about being the neighbourhood circle.

 

Do you think you are one?

 

Personally I don't think so. I think the lust/attraction/excitement feeling you have for him has turned into an obsession and it's an unhealthy and sick relationship/friendship/affair going on and it's stuff like this (sorry to say it, write it down here) that leads to crimes of passion. Please, get away from him! IF you let him, he will help ruin your life.

 

Think of your kids.....

 

Are you saying I would committ a crime of passion or he would?

[forbidden fruit]

Are you saying I would committ a crime of passion or he would?

 

Why does he want to ruin my life? I think he has been jealous all along

[whichwayisup]

Any one of you could. I mean your husband, his wife - WHO knows how either of them are going to react. Sooner or later D-Day is going to happen.

 

He sounds so convincing like he is in fullcontrol of the situation and he is doing everything to save us from ruining the kids lives.

 

He IS in full control because you are letting him. What you both aren't getting is, you ARE ruining your kids lives right now, let alone your marriages and your own lives.

 

I wish you the strength to get to counselling so you can have that help to get you out of this explosive situation. It isn't an affair anymore, it's a ticking time bomb..

[whichwayisup]

Why does he want to ruin my life? I think he has been jealous all along

 

The mind of a narcissist...Don't try to figure it out. There doesn't have to be a real reason, that's the whole point.

[underpants]

Why does he want to ruin my life? I think he has been jealous all along

 

The only question you can ask is: Why do YOU want to ruin your life?

[whichwayisup]

Are you saying I would committ a crime of passion or he would?

FF, to be honest, I think the longer you stay on this path with the MM, it will lead you to a nervous breakdown of some sort. You HATE to say that, but I am honestly concerned about you that way. Counselling, please go FF.

 

Everything is focussed on the MM, and all that energy is not going into you, your kids or your husband.

[bentnotbroken]

Because you are letting sexual lust and feelings get in the way, that's why. And, he turns it around on you because he knows he has you weak in the knees and can pull the strings, you'll come back to him. FF, he's on a power trip and loving it. It is both of your faults. He just sees that eventually you will cave and so far, everytime, you've proven him right.

 

If you want it all to end, CONFESS everything to your husband, then you and your husband confess everything to his wife. THAT will end it forever.

 

 

 

And it will give him exactly what he deserves, his balls busted by his wife and your husband.

[forbidden fruit]

FF, to be honest, I think the longer you stay on this path with the MM, it will lead you to a nervous breakdown of some sort. You HATE to say that, but I am honestly concerned about you that way. Counselling, please go FF.

 

Everything is focussed on the MM, and all that energy is not going into you, your kids or your husband.

 

I agree with you, but on the surface I look like there is nothing wrong. Noone can tell anything is wrong with me except everyone on Ls and mm. I am doing everything I normally would do in a day and not letting anything slack. I look to the outside person like I am a happy person with no real problems.

[Meaplus3]

FF, to be honest, I think the longer you stay on this path with the MM, it will lead you to a nervous breakdown of some sort. You HATE to say that, but I am honestly concerned about you that way. Counselling, please go FF.

 

Everything is focussed on the MM, and all that energy is not going into you, your kids or your husband.

 

 

FF, Please listen to Whichway here!! Go get yourself some counselling, you really need to FF. I'm very worried for you.

 

AP:)

[Meaplus3]

I agree with you, but on the surface I look like there is nothing wrong. Noone can tell anything is wrong with me except everyone on Ls and mm. I am doing everything I normally would do in a day and not letting anything slack. I look to the outside person like I am a happy person with no real problems.

 

Well half the population look's that way FF! Happy on the outside but not inside! This is where a therapist or counsleor can help you my dear. Now do it!

 

AP:)

[bentnotbroken]

I agree with you, but on the surface I look like there is nothing wrong. Noone can tell anything is wrong with me except everyone on Ls and mm. I am doing everything I normally would do in a day and not letting anything slack. I look to the outside person like I am a happy person with no real problems.

 

 

 

Then comes the big crash and burn. Been there. I want to shake you until your teeth rattle, not for the cheating( I'm past that) but for giving someone else control of your life. And not just your life, but the lives of every member of your family. If he put a gun to each of their heads would you stop him? Well that's exactly what he is doing. He is trying to destroy their emotional stability. You have already allowed him to destroy yours, and now you are holding his arm steady for a better aim.

[forbidden fruit]

And it will give him exactly what he deserves, his balls busted by his wife and your husband.

 

Well I think he wants to get busted so once again I am giving him what he wants. Why else would he engage in such dangerous behaviour. All along through the A he always wanted to put us in situation where someone could come in at any minute.

 

If I would of followed his lead we would of been caught along time ago. He wants to get busted but not by H, but by his W. He always wanted to do it in her bedroom or on the couch she always sits on. Now he wants to do it where he knows my H sits. I think he thinks a hotel is too inconvient. Sick!!!

[forbidden fruit]

Then comes the big crash and burn. Been there. I want to shake you until your teeth rattle, not for the cheating( I'm past that) but for giving someone else control of your life. And not just your life, but the lives of every member of your family. If he put a gun to each of their heads would you stop him? Well that's exactly what he is doing. He is trying to destroy their emotional stability. You have already allowed him to destroy yours, and now you are holding his arm steady for a better aim.

It is ironic you say that because he said that I am hurting my family and he is trying to stop me. He is tryin to save both of us from hurting our families. He said by us being friends I have stopped us from doing so and you meaning me are the one who wants to jeopardize the kids happiness. I believe the word is gaslighting.

[bentnotbroken]

At this point the ball is in your court. NOTHING IS UP TO HIM, if you don't want it to be. End it tonight by telling your husband. If you can't do it alone, find a clergy member or counselor to be the third party. Do it like yesterday.

[JamesM]

The next time you begin to think of a kiss or a pleasant moment with him, I hope all of these posts come back to haunt you.

 

Truthfully, I can say that for me the knowledge that anything I did that was a betrayal to my marriage would not only ruin my RL reputation, but it would ruin my reputation here...well, that is enough to keep me from doing anything. And there have been times where I have been in a situation that could have been such. And the thought comes to mind..."What would so and so say?" "How could I keep posting with that as a secret or how could I tell them all?"

 

In your case, I admire that aspect of you...you keep coming here and posting both the good and the bad. Many would either quit coming or hide their "sins."

 

Now, with that in mind, what can you do to stop this free fall you are taking?

 

And I mean it...the next time you are thinking of a hug and a kiss with MM, or you are actually in the middle of it...picture in your mind WWIU's avatar, AP's avatar (Jewel), the word bentnotbroken, and all of the other ones who have said things that struck you solidly in the gut. I think this will at least make you stop and think. Oh, and picture me....white shirt and tie on the phone...but without the smile.

 

Now it is up to you.

[forbidden fruit]

Then comes the big crash and burn. Been there. I want to shake you until your teeth rattle, not for the cheating( I'm past that) but for giving someone else control of your life. And not just your life, but the lives of every member of your family. If he put a gun to each of their heads would you stop him? Well that's exactly what he is doing. He is trying to destroy their emotional stability. You have already allowed him to destroy yours, and now you are holding his arm steady for a better aim.

 

I just do not understand why he is trying to destroy me and my family? He is always welling up and crying when he tells me how much he cares for me and my kids. Why does he want to control my life? so you think he does not care about me at all or my kids?

[LucreziaBorgia]

I don't agree with the poster who says you should give your H primary custody of the kids.

 

Under these circumstances she should. Her only concern is how to hook someone else's husband while tearing her own family apart and putting them on the back burner in case MM decides to leave his W for her. Clearly the best interests of her children are not front and foremost here. They are taking second place to a MM. Not exactly the type of mother a child needs in their life. Their father would provide a much more stable and emotionally healthy environment. If FF wants to pursue a MM, then by all means give up her children first. No sense in dragging them through such a disgusting mess. They'd be better off without that, particularly better off without being exposed in such a way to such a psycho of a MM.

 

Do you think he wants to get caught because the other day he wanted to have sex in my house and turned it on me like you know you want and I am doing what you want, right?

 

He doesn't want to get caught. He is getting off on the fact that you are helping him humiliate and further cuckold your own husband. He has complete control and power over you. This shows it. If you do it, then this proves it.

 

He sounds so convincing like he is in full control of the situation and he is doing everything to save us from ruining the kids lives.

 

You two have already started down the path to ruining your children's lives.

 

Why does he want to ruin my life? I think he has been jealous all along

 

He isn't jealous of anything you have. He only wants to ruin your life because its his to ruin. Because he can. When he is done with you, and your life is in a smoking ruin and his is intact he'll simply move on to the next OW to destroy.

 

I am doing everything I normally would do in a day and not letting anything slack. I look to the outside person like I am a happy person with no real problems.

 

Don't underestimate the BS radar, FF. Your H and his W will catch on before long. You may think you are 'normal' but your subconscious behaviors will betray you. Look on any infidelity board and read a few 'I have gut feelings' threads. They know, they see, they pick up on it.

 

Well I think he wants to get busted so once again I am giving him what he wants. Why else would he engage in such dangerous behaviour. All along through the A he always wanted to put us in situation where someone could come in at any minute.

 

If I would of followed his lead we would of been caught along time ago. He wants to get busted but not by H, but by his W. He always wanted to do it in her bedroom or on the couch she always sits on. Now he wants to do it where he knows my H sits. I think he thinks a hotel is too inconvient. Sick!!!

 

You are paying attention to the wrong things. He does not want to get caught. He gets off on the thrill of this. He gets off on the power he has over you. He gets off on the idea that he can f*ck you right where his W sits in his home and where your H sits in your home. Its a power trip. A sick superiority complex he has. Its not about getting caught so he can be free to be with you. If he gets caught, he will throw you under the bus so hard that you will break. He has the ability to lie and connive his way out of a dday. You don't. He knows it. He is counting on it.

 

He is tryin to save both of us from hurting our families.

 

Too late. You already are hurting your families. He only says this because it is what you need to hear in order to justify being with him. He knows this. He counts on it. He will say and do whatever it takes to keep you under his thumb, FF. Its working too.

 

I just do not understand why he is trying to destroy me and my family? He is always welling up and crying when he tells me how much he cares for me and my kids. Why does he want to control my life? so you think he does not care about me at all or my kids?

 

Because he can, FF. He gets off on it. He enjoys having the power over a woman to make her tear apart herself and her family for him. When he is done with you, he will move on to the next woman to do this to. He wells up and cries, because he knows that is the way into your heart (pants). He wants to control your life because that is what he gets off on. If it wasn't you, it would be someone else. You are INTERCHANGEABLE. He does not give a rat's ass about you or your family, or even his own. If he did, he would not have started this in the first place. Put it this way. He has put you in a position where you are placing his needs above the ones of your own children and family. Does that sound like someone who cares about your family?

 

He only cares about how well he can jerk your strings and make you dance, FF. He will have you dancing until you have destroyed everything around you and then he will have no more use of you.