europa Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 My overbearing SIL has constantly gotten her 3-year old son, my nephew, to ask over the phone when he can expect a cousin (my husband and I have been married just over a year) yet she rarely even speaks to me or asks how I am, etc. On top of this, she rarely calls, emails, or even sends a birthday card while we always remember her children's important dates. In a nutshell, she has shown little effort towards a relationship with me and my husband and has also treated my brother (her husband) poorly in public. All of this combined, I have decided to simply NOT tell her and my brother that I am 5+ months pregnant. As I will be visiting family (including them) at my 7 month mark, I figure this is a fine time to tell them. I do not like keeping this from my brother, but as our conversations are null to limited, I wish to wait until we see them in public. Her childish, rude and ill-mannered bahavior of course has further prompted me to hold this private information from them. Is this terrible of me? Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 No, I wouldn't say that "reciprocal childishness" is "terrible" -- it is just reciprocal childishness. Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 No, I wouldn't say that "reciprocal childishness" is "terrible" -- it is just reciprocal childishness. Good answer! Link to post Share on other sites
Angelina Nisse Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 I would just have a relationship with my brother, and ignore her. She doesn't sound like a very nice person, but luckily, you don't have to have any sort of relationship. Just be close with your brother. If she doesn't want to be close with you, big deal. But I wouldn't let her influence when I told my brother. Ignore her. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 At 5 months pregnant, you should tell everyone. You're past the safe mark... Tell your brother who can tell her. Honestly, don't let her bug you. Laugh it off because she is part of your extended family. Be nice, make conversation...You don't have to like her, but just accept who she is and don't confide in her. Focus more on your relationship with your brother. Link to post Share on other sites
cicada Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 I would say tell whoever you want to ... she is a pain in the butt is sounds, but she can do only so much as you let her. you dont have to pick up the phone if you dont want to. I know some people are really overbearing . just think of her as a crazy saturday night live skit . don't let her get any credit for you getting pregnant. she sounds like she wold announce to the world what part she had in your pregnacy. i would just say in front of her when telling others, yes, my husband and i decided to have a child and we are very happy to be expecting. she might just be someone who likes the attention on her. just accept her for who she is and laugh it off... although I know it can be hard to sometimes Link to post Share on other sites
Author europa Posted January 14, 2008 Author Share Posted January 14, 2008 Thank you for all of your advice (even if reference to childish). I should have earlier stated that whilst I am 5 months along, I do not highly believe in announcing to many people about my pregnancy (superstitions, privacy, etc). Doing so is a huge step, therefore in person is most comfortable for me (as I am also overseas very far from family). I do appreciate the advise to take into consideration my relationship w/my brother which comes first, at least much before the SIL. Thanks again. Link to post Share on other sites
Ms. Red Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 Are you sure she's just not very shy? One of the cousins on my husbands side is so shy that people mistake her for being arrogant or stuck up. Even if she treats her husband bad in public she could still be shy around other people. I have bad feelings towards my brother's woman he's lived with for about 15 years but I have never once let my brother or her know because I want to stay in contact with my brother. It's not always easy but I consider it the price to keep my brother in my life. Good Luck & Congrats on your pregnancy! Link to post Share on other sites
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