kdiep04 Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 i don't know if this is the right forum but...... me and my ex has been together for 4.5 years. she has two children that are 4 and another that is 5. she kept on telling me she wanted to get married almost everyday but i never knew the reason why i never proposed to her. i love her with all my heart and i thought maybe i could get away with it but i guess it couldn't. she just wanted to make sure that i was going to spend the rest of my life with her. we've been broken up for almost 3 months now. the last two months of our relationship things started to turn sour. i started to fade away from her and i didn't realize what i was doing. i started to put others first sometime before her and she started to get real jealous. we started to act strange to each other, but i knew she wasn't cheating on me. but she felt i was cheating on her with my guy friends as in i would go hang out with them and leave her at home with the kids. and then one day i just blew up and kicked her out. then the next thing you knew a week later i brought all her stuff to her parents house. thats where shes living now. as time went by i realize what i was so wrong and know how much she means to me. she loved me so much and i guess i didn't appreciate it as much as i should. i told her i wanted her back and she doesn't want to because she feels like she will be mistreated again. we've had alot of rough times in the past and she holds it against me still. and she said she could never forgive me for some of the things i did. and i cannot stress her how sorry i am and told her i've gotten a wake up call through out all of this. everytime when we talk about it she breaks into tears because she so angry for what i did to her. throughout the breakup this guy was there for her. she could talk to him and tell her how she feels i guess. she said shes falling for him and i just don't know what to do. she says she wants to be with him, but i don't know how to take it. i just feel like i deserve a chance to show her she should be loved the way she loved me. she told me if i would have proposed to her or not kick her out none of this would have happened. i just have this guilt that "why did i kick her out for?" but at the same time if i didn't kick her out, i wouldn't have gotten this wake up call. i don't know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Nomad1 Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 This is a tough one. I guess the prospect of her going with this other guy has made you realise that you are going to lose her for good, hence the wake up call. It happens all the time. When people take others for granted expecting that they will always be there for them, but once those they left behind start to move on with their lives, there is a sudden yearning to be with them. Why don't you invite her for dinner, somewhere nice, and propose to her. If she still says no, then you know you need to move on. Take care Nomad1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 If you really did treat her that bad over the years then you do not deserve her. Learn a lesson from this and treat your next girlfriend better! Link to post Share on other sites
Author kdiep04 Posted January 10, 2008 Author Share Posted January 10, 2008 no i didn't like treat her bad. she just doesn't want to feel neglected thats all. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 So you neglected her? Remind me why she would want to come back? Link to post Share on other sites
jmargel Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 Did you find out about this other guy before wanting her back? If so, it doesn't sound like love, it sounds more like control. You are losing your possession. Link to post Share on other sites
Jordane Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 First thing, you don't DESERVE a second chance as you just said. It seems like you've had numerous chances. Second thing, are you willing to propose...like ASAP if she does decide to come back? Are you going to make specific changes and if so which ones? These are the things she needs to know...that you are going to change x,y,and z and that things are going to progress, etc. She has two children...she not only has to think of herself but of her children also, she cannot be playing thse games with you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author kdiep04 Posted January 10, 2008 Author Share Posted January 10, 2008 i am a great father. her childrens biological father was never in the picture. im still young i know, im 21 turning 22 in a few weeks. she told me she doesn't want me to be out of the childrens lives. she told me she loves that i love her, and she doesn't want to lose it. i was always there when she really needed me. i just don't know what to do. she said we should take time away from each other, so i agree. then she calls me a few days later and tell me she misses me and stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
Jordane Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 People act irrationally when they break up because they have so many emotions and they are somewhere unfamiliar. She wants to call you and talk to you because that is what she is used to...does't necessarily mean that it's a good idea for her to get back with you or that it is what she really wants. Link to post Share on other sites
bozwa Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 I wouldn't take you back if you kicked me out for a stupid reason and uprooted my life. You didn't only uproot HER life, you uprooted her CHILDRENS' lives. That would definitely be reason enough right there not to take you back. Children need stability, and who's to say you wouldn't just kick her and her KIDS out again? Did you even consider the kids in this act of passion? Link to post Share on other sites
82knightrider Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 If you really did treat her that bad over the years then you do not deserve her. Learn a lesson from this and treat your next girlfriend better! This is best advise you could get. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 i am a great father. You kicked the kids out too.. how does that fit into being a GREAT father. You kicked her and her kids out.. it isn't like you asked her to sleep on the couch.. I wouldn't take you back.. She would need a reason to take you back and from what I've seen she will be worried you will kick her and her kids out again.. What kind of a man boots out children ?..even if they aren't yours.. they are still kids.... You should've went to a hotel or left first.. Why not just learn from this experience and move on ? Link to post Share on other sites
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