Working on myself

[jdeedee]

I'm beginning to try and work on issues I've been having in relationships and am looking for advice.

 

My two most obvious issues are:

 

• I start arguments and have trouble accepting other's opinions. When people disagree with me I don't usually hear what they are saying, it feels as if they are attacking my point of view or just not understanding it, so I end up repeating myself over and over and getting angry that they "can't hear me."
  
• I am too brutally honest with other people, I don't think before I speak and sometimes I have trouble showing empathy/compassion. I lack tact.

These two issues cropped up time and time again in my last relationship, and while I tried to work on them I just couldn't stop it from surfacing.

 

Now that I'm single I am seeing them crop up in the relationship I have with my roommate. I don't usually have this issue with total strangers, classmates, etc.

 

So any advice, insight? Any suggestions on how to begin working through them?

 

In my last relationship my girlfriend would get very upset with me, especially about the first point. When she would get upset the second point (lack of empathy, especially) would crop up. I told her time and again I was trying but even I would notice how bad it could get whenever I was stressed or getting heated.