blnx_86 Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 Hey guys, first post here...and unfortunately it's about something that is driving me INSANE. Firstly, I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now, with relatively few problems, save for the run-of-the-mill fights every couple has now and then. For quite a while I felt way too attached to him (I started dating him shortly after my parents split up, and subsequently "dealt" with my issues from that by using my happiness with him as a sort of security blanket). Recently, things had started to feel relatively one-sided on my part, and after quite a long talk I felt reassured things would change for the better, which they have already started to. My problem is...I've been talking to another guy, and have developed some feelings. I'd like to say right now that I haven't cheated, and am not planning to cheat! The ridiculous part of this, is that I only talk to this guy online...and yet somehow am having feelings? I feel horribly guilty, and although I'm technically not doing anything wrong, I know I would be upset if it were the other way around. I know the solution to this problem would be to just stop talking to this guy, and to focus my attention on the relationship I'm in right now...but I can't seem to do it! I just can't seem to stop talking to this other guy. It makes me feel a little pathetic to know I'm crushing hard on a guy I've never met, and even worse to realise I don't have the control over it like I should. I'm pretty stranded on what to do...and really hoping someone here will have some advice for me! Link to post Share on other sites
LifesontheUp Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 .....another guy, and have developed some feelings. I'd like to say right now that I haven't cheated, and am not planning to cheat! The ridiculous part of this, is that I only talk to this guy online...and yet somehow am having feelings? I feel horribly guilty, and although I'm technically not doing anything wrong, I know I would be upset if it were the other way around. I know the solution to this problem would be to just stop talking to this guy, and to focus my attention on the relationship I'm in right now...but I can't seem to do it! I just can't seem to stop talking to this other guy. It makes me feel a little pathetic to know I'm crushing hard on a guy I've never met, and even worse to realise I don't have the control over it like I should. I'm pretty stranded on what to do...and really hoping someone here will have some advice for me! You need to go read the infidelity forums to see how these situations develop. You see there most days how people never planned to cheat, but they developed feelings and one thing led to another. If you're not doing anything wrong, does your boyfriend know about the relationship and your feelings? Would you be happy for your boyfriend to sit with you while you chat to this other guy? If you want to work the relationship out with your partner you CANNOT have another person in the mix for whom you have feelings for. You need to decide whether your relationship means enough to you to stop contact with the other guy. If it does then cut him off completely and work on your relationship with your boyfriend. If not then cut your boyfriend free so he can move on with his life. Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenScent Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 My idea of a great relationship would be to sit down and talk things out but that rarely happens because some men just don't like to sit and talk ~ is your boyfriend that type of guy? Another question is ~ did you try to stop talking to the other guy? You need to take a break from both and see if there IS something wrong in your relationship or is the other guy just a reason to end it. Link to post Share on other sites
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