watchconcierge Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 watchconcierge, for what it's worth, bodybuilders freak me out! i'm all about skinny dorks. Sedgwich (kind of like a Sedgwick combined with a samwich)... FWIW... It is now 4:33 am, here, and I've been up for a half hour after only getting a few hours sleep. I know that most girls prefer an average or skinny build. Big muscles gross 'em out. :-) But I like muscles -- just not on chicks! haha Link to post Share on other sites
Author PinkRibbon Posted January 12, 2008 Author Share Posted January 12, 2008 Well here it is another bangup day in my life. I can't figure out why in the heck I am being put through this?? Did I piss someone off in the higher up? I am sitting here on a beautiful day crying because I dont have him with me. I can't talk to him or tell him how great a movie was or what would he like for dinner. Nothing! I am so sick and tired of feeling like this. This is not fair. I never asked for any of this. All I wanted was to be with him, raise a family and live out our life together. Nothing major. I don't want riches, fancy cars, jewerly or trips. I was perfectly happy watching movies at home, eating hot dogs and playing board games. I would actually tell him thank you for every thing he did. If he opened the door I said thank you, if he took out the trash I said thank you and everytime he made a meal or took me somewhere I said thank you. I always made a point to let him know I appreciate things he did for me. And what did I get? Dumped, thrown out like garbage and now I am not even worth a phone call to see if I am ok. I truly don't know how much more of this I can take. I have really good days but they are just because I try so hard not to think about anything. But it hurts so bad and he has not made any effort to contact me. I could be dead and he wouldn't know or even care. Life suxs. Link to post Share on other sites
watchconcierge Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 Well here it is another bangup day in my life. I can't figure out why in the heck I am being put through this?? Did I piss someone off in the higher up? I am sitting here on a beautiful day crying because I dont have him with me. I can't talk to him or tell him how great a movie was or what would he like for dinner. Nothing! I am so sick and tired of feeling like this. This is not fair. I never asked for any of this. All I wanted was to be with him, raise a family and live out our life together. Nothing major. I don't want riches, fancy cars, jewerly or trips. I was perfectly happy watching movies at home, eating hot dogs and playing board games. I would actually tell him thank you for every thing he did. If he opened the door I said thank you, if he took out the trash I said thank you and everytime he made a meal or took me somewhere I said thank you. I always made a point to let him know I appreciate things he did for me. And what did I get? Dumped, thrown out like garbage and now I am not even worth a phone call to see if I am ok. I truly don't know how much more of this I can take. I have really good days but they are just because I try so hard not to think about anything. But it hurts so bad and he has not made any effort to contact me. I could be dead and he wouldn't know or even care. Life suxs. U said... "I was perfectly happy watching movies at home, eating hot dogs and playing board games. " :-) Wanna get married?? T Link to post Share on other sites
Author PinkRibbon Posted January 12, 2008 Author Share Posted January 12, 2008 Why couldn't he be happy with that? I never cheated, never thought about it or even looked. I love sex. If I go 3 days without I am crabby. I like creative sex so I wasn't a prude. I worshipped the darn ground he walked on which is hard since he is such a self centered little butt at times. Nothing I ever did was good enough...I was never good enough. Why doesn't he contact me? I know the answer...it just hurts to accept the answer. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PinkRibbon Posted January 12, 2008 Author Share Posted January 12, 2008 U said... "I was perfectly happy watching movies at home, eating hot dogs and playing board games. " :-) Wanna get married?? T I play a mean game of Risk....can you hang? Also I need couch time.....nothing better than making out on the couch during a movie.... Link to post Share on other sites
watchconcierge Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 I play a mean game of Risk....can you hang? Also I need couch time.....nothing better than making out on the couch during a movie.... Sounds good... We're engaged! T Link to post Share on other sites
Author PinkRibbon Posted January 12, 2008 Author Share Posted January 12, 2008 HAHAHAHAHAHA ok just don't work too hard at the bubble gum machine for my ring.... Oh yea how do you feel about sloppy joes and beer? Link to post Share on other sites
watchconcierge Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 HAHAHAHAHAHA ok just don't work too hard at the bubble gum machine for my ring.... Oh yea how do you feel about sloppy joes and beer? Hmmmm... Not a big fan of sloppy joes, because they're... sloppy... But they taste good. Not really a beer drinker though... I drink the equivalent of probably 10 glasses of wine a year... spread out through wine, beer, champagne, a shot or two... haha T Link to post Share on other sites
Author PinkRibbon Posted January 12, 2008 Author Share Posted January 12, 2008 Oh well wedding is off...love sloppy joes (eaten with a fork of course) Thanks for making me smile! Link to post Share on other sites
so_sad Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 Pinkribbon, I really know where you're coming from (okay, I did want trips and jewelry, but I don't think that's so much to ask...). I also felt like in the latter half of my relationship, I couldn't do anything right in my ex's eyes. The only thing I can hope is that eventually we will realize that it's not worth it to be with someone who makes us feel like we can't do anything right, or that we're not good enough, etc...As much as I miss my ex and feel really alone right now, I have to admit that in a very small way, I can recognize that it's nice not to have someone telling me that I'm too this or not enough that. You know what I mean? Link to post Share on other sites
watchconcierge Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 Pinkribbon, I really know where you're coming from (okay, I did want trips and jewelry, but I don't think that's so much to ask...). I also felt like in the latter half of my relationship, I couldn't do anything right in my ex's eyes. The only thing I can hope is that eventually we will realize that it's not worth it to be with someone who makes us feel like we can't do anything right, or that we're not good enough, etc...As much as I miss my ex and feel really alone right now, I have to admit that in a very small way, I can recognize that it's nice not to have someone telling me that I'm too this or not enough that. You know what I mean? I'm actually feeling pretty good, today, by the way... after a couple of VERY rough days. I'm pretty upbeat. I'm sad that my new fiancee just broke up with me. :-( It was because I wasn't a fanatic for sloppy joes. So that's pretty ridiculous. I guess it just wasn't meant to be. Do you think I should go NC with her or try to work it out? T Link to post Share on other sites
so_sad Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 I'm actually feeling pretty good, today, by the way... after a couple of VERY rough days. I'm pretty upbeat. I'm sad that my new fiancee just broke up with me. :-( It was because I wasn't a fanatic for sloppy joes. So that's pretty ridiculous. I guess it just wasn't meant to be. Do you think I should go NC with her or try to work it out? T Well, you seem to be coping remarkably well with this recent setback. I think it just wasn't meant to be. We all know that trust, respect, and a love of sloppy joes are the foundation of any great relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
watchconcierge Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 Well, you seem to be coping remarkably well with this recent setback. I think it just wasn't meant to be. We all know that trust, respect, and a love of sloppy joes are the foundation of any great relationship. Alright... I PROMISE I will eat all of the sloppy joes you can make for me... Wait... I WILL MAKE THEM FOR US!!!!!!! I will do anything to get you back! Anything!!!!! ;-) Where do you live BTW? How old are you? I should know these general bits of info about my fiancee... or ex-fiancee... which is it? I forget! Link to post Share on other sites
watchconcierge Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 Alright... I PROMISE I will eat all of the sloppy joes you can make for me... Wait... I WILL MAKE THEM FOR US!!!!!!! I will do anything to get you back! Anything!!!!! ;-) Where do you live BTW? How old are you? I should know these general bits of info about my fiancee... or ex-fiancee... which is it? I forget! DANG!! I think my fiancee just went NC on me!!! Now I will be in the needy position of being the last person to attempt contact. lol :-) T Link to post Share on other sites
Author PinkRibbon Posted January 13, 2008 Author Share Posted January 13, 2008 Ok I am going to break NC with with my new future ex husband. Awww you will make the sloppy joes? That's ok because if you don't like them then we won't eat them. And if you don't like beer then we won't drink it....shoot there I go again already making a change in my character to please some. hahahaha Trust, respect, sloppy joes AND gummi bears. The key ingredient in any good relationship is the gummi bears. They have to be just the right ones. Haribo gold bears. Keeps the marriage going. hahahahahaha 38 yrs, 5'7", 135 lbs. I like getting caught in the rain, not much into health food, I am into ....wait that's a song. Link to post Share on other sites
watchconcierge Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 Ok I am going to break NC with with my new future ex husband. Awww you will make the sloppy joes? That's ok because if you don't like them then we won't eat them. And if you don't like beer then we won't drink it....shoot there I go again already making a change in my character to please some. hahahaha Trust, respect, sloppy joes AND gummi bears. The key ingredient in any good relationship is the gummi bears. They have to be just the right ones. Haribo gold bears. Keeps the marriage going. hahahahahaha 38 yrs, 5'7", 135 lbs. I like getting caught in the rain, not much into health food, I am into ....wait that's a song. You're the exact same size as my 23 year old ex... before she lost about 10 pounds during the last two months due to the break up... she has started working out so she can look her best for the new guys. I'm 35 btw. I'm only 5'8" though. And I weight about 205... Well... I've actually lost 10 pounds over the last 3 days of NC. But I'm muscular... not fat. T T Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 (edited) Ok I am going to break NC with with my new future ex husband. Awww you will make the sloppy joes? That's ok because if you don't like them then we won't eat them. And if you don't like beer then we won't drink it....shoot there I go again already making a change in my character to please some. hahahaha Trust, respect, sloppy joes AND gummi bears. The key ingredient in any good relationship is the gummi bears. They have to be just the right ones. Haribo gold bears. Keeps the marriage going. hahahahahaha 38 yrs, 5'7", 135 lbs. I like getting caught in the rain, not much into health food, I am into ....wait that's a song. I love gummi bears... Sloppy Joe's and Beer! Beaches, blues and barbecue... bring it on. It sucks when they dumper has to find fault with everything you do and everything about you to justify what they're doing. Look, no way can you belive all that cra*. Just think about thuier faults, how they treated you and see them for who they really are. oh yeah.. whhat the heck 39, 5' 10" and 215. Big build, muscular with just a little paunch.. dropped 50 lbs since my ex left me a year ago. LOL is this a dating site now? Might as well have fun with it.. Edited January 13, 2008 by sumdude Link to post Share on other sites
Author PinkRibbon Posted January 13, 2008 Author Share Posted January 13, 2008 (edited) I am trying really hard not to believe all the stuff he said to me the 3 times I have spoken to him since he left me. But to me the lack of contact says more than any words that have come out of his mouth. Silence speaks volumes. What I am having a problem with is his lack of contact. I have read some many different people on here saying how their spouses or others have emailed them, called or will text them trying to be nice and friendly. I get nothing. Not a so much as how you are doing, how is XXX(my daughter he was her step dad) and he played the part of being her step dad. Not so much as did you get everything hooked up the with electronics, did you get everything put together, a simple how are you doing would be nice. I know he will never be my husband again but not to even be civil to me hurts more than him leaving. And he has yet to call my daughter to say good bye or explain or even say hey I know me and your mother didn't work out but I am still here as a friend if you ever need me. He was a very important part of her life and he doesn't even care about what he did to her. He is so angry and mad at me and I wasn't the one who cheated and left. All I hear is how he doesn't love me, can't stand to be in the room with me, he will never be part of my life and he doesn't care what happens to me. How can someone love you so much one day and then turn around and say those things in the blink of an eye. The answer is someone else. So here it is another day crying and feeling sad for myself. I cried most of last night until the tylenol kicked in. I am not begging him to come back so I don't understand what he is so afraid of that he can't be civil to me. Maybe if I had cheated and slept with a few men like some the women I have read about on this board then he would be chasing me and wishing I would come home.....Stupid me was faithful and loved my husband. Doesn't pay to be faithful Edited January 13, 2008 by PinkRibbon Link to post Share on other sites
Author PinkRibbon Posted January 14, 2008 Author Share Posted January 14, 2008 Well made it through another day. I swear my mother is going to think I am psycho if I keep calling her and crying. I think she imagines me in a rubber room somewhere. But her suggestion is to pack up and move to where she lives. To put this city and everything to do with this behind me and just start over. She says this is my 2nd chance why waste it. Maybe she is right. So I cried on the phone for about an hour now I am tired and ready to go to bed. Got a big day tomorrow of being nice and smiley to everyone when I just want to get in my car and never come back. Life suxs. I hope he is miserable one day. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PinkRibbon Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 Today was another mindless day. I don't see how people ever pull themselves out of this funk. It has been 3 and a half months. I should be feeling better but I constantly miss him. And he still has not made any effort to contact me. I feel like I am holding my breath waiting for something to happen. You know the feeling when you know something will happen so you are just going trough the motions to get to the event. But in my case the event will never come. He will never come back and has a GF so I am holding my breath for nothing except to turn blue. I never asked for this in my life. This is really not fair. Link to post Share on other sites
maria22 Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 hello I haven't really had time to read all these replies you have had, but I just want to say venting is wonderful, especially to strangers on the internet! and no one should be feeling alone and sad. I hope your feelings improve later on in the day. A sweet reply is all I can give but I find it helps me through the day. smile maria Link to post Share on other sites
Confused9 Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 PR...it will get better - I promise. Take it one step at a time. You don't want him to contact you...it will only bring you a few steps back, I promise. Plus, look at you...your already engaged : ) Link to post Share on other sites
Confused9 Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 I am trying really hard not to believe all the stuff he said to me the 3 times I have spoken to him since he left me. But to me the lack of contact says more than any words that have come out of his mouth. Silence speaks volumes. What I am having a problem with is his lack of contact. I have read some many different people on here saying how their spouses or others have emailed them, called or will text them trying to be nice and friendly. I get nothing. Not a so much as how you are doing, how is XXX(my daughter he was her step dad) and he played the part of being her step dad. Not so much as did you get everything hooked up the with electronics, did you get everything put together, a simple how are you doing would be nice. I know he will never be my husband again but not to even be civil to me hurts more than him leaving. And he has yet to call my daughter to say good bye or explain or even say hey I know me and your mother didn't work out but I am still here as a friend if you ever need me. He was a very important part of her life and he doesn't even care about what he did to her. He is so angry and mad at me and I wasn't the one who cheated and left. All I hear is how he doesn't love me, can't stand to be in the room with me, he will never be part of my life and he doesn't care what happens to me. How can someone love you so much one day and then turn around and say those things in the blink of an eye. The answer is someone else. So here it is another day crying and feeling sad for myself. I cried most of last night until the tylenol kicked in. I am not begging him to come back so I don't understand what he is so afraid of that he can't be civil to me. Maybe if I had cheated and slept with a few men like some the women I have read about on this board then he would be chasing me and wishing I would come home.....Stupid me was faithful and loved my husband. Doesn't pay to be faithful I think your X is my X PR...they are definately one in the same and the two of us struggle with the same issues. We'll get through though...together...okay? Link to post Share on other sites
so_sad Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 After a few weeks of feeling pretty good (considering I was dumped 3 months ago by my fiancé), last night I just plummetted back down to the depths of despair. I just feel so sad and like I'm back at square one. It started with my ex emailing me about stuff we have to deal with (our house, etc...) and he was actually pretty nice to me in the email. Take note, Pinkribbon and Confused9: as much as it's hurtful and confusing when they're being mean to you, it's almost worse when they start being nice, because you start wondering and hoping that maybe there will be some reconciliation (in my situation I know there is no way that's going to happen, but the hope sneaks in sometimes anyway). Then while I was cleaning out my work email, I saw the thousands of messages we'd exchanged over the past years (yes, I kept them all) and it just killed me - messages about how happy he was that we were going to get married, about the house that we bought, about funny antics our dog got up to, and just messages telling me that he loved me. How can you have all that with someone and then just walk away? I don't understand it and I think I never will. Maybe I will be able to accept it one day, but I don't think I'll ever understand it. I hate feeling this way. I feel like every ounce of energy has been drained out of me and I have nothing left but sadness. Link to post Share on other sites
bustertypsy Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 (edited) So-sad,I am sorry you are having a hard time right now.................<<<big hug>>> I am almost a carbon copy of how you feel.I am 3 months apart from my ex too.Only yesterday I had a terrible day.It was probably the most painful day I've suffered since we split up.Like a bolt of lightening it come over me.The memories came flooding back,the despair of not being with her.They are like withdrawal symptoms and they knocked me for six. I do wonder why these things happen.How two people can go from a unique closeness to a distant parting.Like you I'll never understand it but I have accepted it. Just be in the knowledge that what you are going through is not unique.Although I feel most people believe their pain is more severe than anybody elses and their sadness is deeper,I think we all feel pain the same,we just can't see it. Hang in there and the better times will return.One day you will be thankful for the pain you are now feeling,when you meet the person for you.It's only when this happens,you'll wonder why you wasted so much time hurting over your ex.It will happen,mark my words. Edited January 15, 2008 by bustertypsy Link to post Share on other sites
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