Confused9 Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 After a few weeks of feeling pretty good (considering I was dumped 3 months ago by my fiancé), last night I just plummetted back down to the depths of despair. I just feel so sad and like I'm back at square one. It started with my ex emailing me about stuff we have to deal with (our house, etc...) and he was actually pretty nice to me in the email. Take note, Pinkribbon and Confused9: as much as it's hurtful and confusing when they're being mean to you, it's almost worse when they start being nice, because you start wondering and hoping that maybe there will be some reconciliation (in my situation I know there is no way that's going to happen, but the hope sneaks in sometimes anyway). Then while I was cleaning out my work email, I saw the thousands of messages we'd exchanged over the past years (yes, I kept them all) and it just killed me - messages about how happy he was that we were going to get married, about the house that we bought, about funny antics our dog got up to, and just messages telling me that he loved me. How can you have all that with someone and then just walk away? I don't understand it and I think I never will. Maybe I will be able to accept it one day, but I don't think I'll ever understand it. I hate feeling this way. I feel like every ounce of energy has been drained out of me and I have nothing left but sadness. I hear ya sosad, I really do. My x fiance did the same things. It's amazing the change in him. I don't understand how or why and I probably never will. But, now it's time for us to care for ourselves and take care of ourselves. We'll get through!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author PinkRibbon Posted January 15, 2008 Author Share Posted January 15, 2008 I don't think anyone will ever understand when they are left. But my 2 cents is that is SUXS big time. Why in the heck does he not care even a little. He is my freaking husband for god's sake. Does he just think he can walk out of my life and never look back? What gave him the divine right to decide for both of us? I hate this so much I can't stand it. Link to post Share on other sites
Confused9 Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 I do too PR, but, we can't continue asking why...what is that going to do for us? We may never know the answer. Life is what we make of it now. It's not about them or what they did or how they did it...it's about us and what we make of our lives now. My x left me in the dust, spit on me, kicked me, and smeared me with dog poop all while making me move, making me feel like less of a woman, less of a human being really and now he isn't paying me the money that he owes me. but you know what...ENOUGH. I am all set with him making me feel bad or allowing me to ruin my days. He is not sitting around crying over me and if he is...so what...I am DONE! We need to be done PR. (he really didn't do the whole spit, kick, dog poop thing...just making a point) This whole time I have been wondering what I did. I didn't do anything. He did it. He needs to live with that...let him live with it for the rest of his life - because I am done. He is no longer a part of my life and he isn't the kind of person I would want to know now. BYE BYE X FIANCE!!! I'm sorry I wasted this much time worrying about you. You suck!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author PinkRibbon Posted January 16, 2008 Author Share Posted January 16, 2008 I need to be done also. This is really starting to annoy me in a bug way. I have never felt so whiny and pathetic as I do now. I have chased his butt for 6 years. I have worshiped the groud he walked on for 6 years and this is what I get? I hope there is such thing as Karma because I hope it comes around abites him on the butt big time. Confused9 I am right there with you on the done thing. No one will love him like I did and apparently that must have been the problem. I hope he rots in his mind and his heart. Woweee that was evil. You know what I want? I want to move somewhere fun. I want to be near a beach where I can smell the ocean and just sit there and read in my free time. I so want out of this town. I keep thinking if I hang tight until summer then when my daughter gets out of school packing up my house, quitting my job and taking both of us and go west. And just live off what I have abd work someone like Walmart until I can get back on with a school. That would be so nice. I should put my energy into trying to move and less worrying about his sorry butt. Link to post Share on other sites
Confused9 Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 Good for you PR!!! You can do this. Make the best of this and move and do what's best for you!!! I live by the ocean...too bad you can't come here. It's winter here now though...so it's not much fun! I am proud of you...let's try to keep this up, k? Link to post Share on other sites
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