Oliver Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 (edited) Hey, First of all I do not know if this is under the right category, if it isn't i apologize and hope for a moderator to move it to a suiting one. Now to the topic: Nearly a year ago I met a girl on a ski trip, who I came to like. We talked and spent very much time together at the trip and afterwards. I got some signs of her saing she liked me, but there was another boy there too who she was with not nearly as much as with me, but still. So I got confused not knowing wether she liked me or not, and as stupid as I am i didn't do any moves on her. Well... After the trip was over we hanged out at school with each other (we went in the same school) and we're on parties and stuff like that, in other words i met here several times a week. Still, i did not do any moves... After about two months i sent her a message saying i liked her and she responded saying she liked me too. If all the other stuff that had been going on for the past couple of months wasn't a sign, this definetly was a CLEAR sign. But what do you know, couple of weeks later I still hadn't done any moves on her. She even asked me to come to her parents island and i went, the day passed by, still no moves... This carried on maybe a month more when finally it just stopped. In other words it faded away. I knew she liked me, and she knew I liked her but neither of us did the first step. Like we we're both waiting for the other to do it first. Now it has been 4-5 months since it ended, and i have met here a couple of times. But I still like her, i really do. I know i've messed up so bad, so many clear signs and I didn't to anything. If this ain't love i don't know what is. To make long things short: We spent very much time together, never kissed or anything, both knew we liked each other, it all faded away and I just can't stop thinking about her. Now I would really like to just grab her and tell her face to face how i feel and kiss her, but every other time i've chickened out. There is a party next weekend and I was thinking about doing it then, but I am not a dare devil when it comes to talking about that with a girl. Edited January 12, 2008 by Oliver Link to post Share on other sites
Author Oliver Posted January 13, 2008 Author Share Posted January 13, 2008 hmm... I can't edit, so i'll post it here. Do you think there's any possibilities of us getting back together? Link to post Share on other sites
Lucasarts Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHMMM first off i just have to say" you're an idiot" and now i have to ask: WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU WAITING FOR? you knew she liked you, she knew you liked her, so...why didnt you do anything about it? You displayed courage when you texted her that you liked her, yet became a coward in your shell when actually with her. I'd pretty much say that if anything you were sending her mixed signals and thats probably why she didnt do anything to make a move or initiate anything. Also, were you expecting her to make a move on you after you confessed your feelings to her? Are you that lacking in the flirting and knowing how to move in on a girl to understand that its really up to the guy to initiate, pursue, and eventually get what he wants? (if the girl is of course open and receptive to it...tho some do like to play games). In all honesty i dont understand how some people can be completely clueless or lacking the common sense of how to get a girl...Especially if the girl says that she likes you in the same way (Thats the HARDEST ****ING PART!) sorry im very frustrated with the lack of intelligence of my fellow males on these boards sometimes...especially when they identify and understand a girl likes them, yet they dont do a thing about it. but to answer your question, yes there may be a chance, but now you have to step up your game and really show that you still like her (dont be a wooden board with her, make some moves, flirt, touch, show her that you want her) and hopefully she'll respond (tho i will understand if she doesnt). Good luck though and hopefully you'll find some happiness and a sense of understanding from this situation: doing nothing leads to nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Oliver Posted January 14, 2008 Author Share Posted January 14, 2008 Thanks for your answer. And yes i know, I must be the biggest idiot out there. I can't believe myself, I'm so angry with myself... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Oliver Posted June 21, 2008 Author Share Posted June 21, 2008 The idiot is back! Goddamn this ain't going nowhere. 2-3 months ago i asked her if i would have any chances with her and she replied saying that she would like to keep being friends. I didn't meet here for a long time until yesterday, and omfg all the feelings I had for her came swarming back. I spent the whole evening/night and todays morning at their place on an little island where there was a party with many people including her brother with whom I've been friends with for a long time. And guess what, this idiot writing right here did not make any moves, other than a little flirting and making her laugh a lot, that I am good at I always make her smile or laugh when I'm talking with her cause I'm kind of a humorous guy i guess. Well, she still hasn't got a boyfriend but she is a really hard book to read. I'm so into this girl and i think that she is into me too but that I already screwed it up one time so that I would have to work really hard. I'm so in over my head here, I haven't got the guts to talk to here about it, thinking i might risk so many things i mean it would be so awkward knowing that i will be spending alot of time at their place hanging out with her brother and so... Link to post Share on other sites
Suiyobi Posted June 22, 2008 Share Posted June 22, 2008 "she replied saying that she would like to keep being friends." Ouch man, that's like the "Fatal Answer" or "The Reply of Death". I wish you luck on getting out of her friend zone... Link to post Share on other sites
J2FT1 Posted June 22, 2008 Share Posted June 22, 2008 "she replied saying that she would like to keep being friends." Ouch man, that's like the "Fatal Answer" or "The Reply of Death". I wish you luck on getting out of her friend zone... Lol, the dreaded friend zone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Oliver Posted June 22, 2008 Author Share Posted June 22, 2008 Indeed it is. Nothing worse than the Friend Zone... Link to post Share on other sites
Drobinson Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 Indeed it is. Nothing worse than the Friend Zone... I would rather be friends then hated ex. Friends is half way to the goal continue to spend time with her, and be there through the good bad and worse, and finally after you've proved you are able to be stable make a move don't ask her just let it happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Pedigree Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 I would rather be friends then hated ex. Friends is half way to the goal continue to spend time with her, and be there through the good bad and worse, and finally after you've proved you are able to be stable make a move don't ask her just let it happen. Haven't you heard? A trip to the friendzone is a one-way trip. Link to post Share on other sites
Suiyobi Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 Sometimes though I'd like to think there is hope, afterall, this section of the forum says so: "When platonic relationships become more intimate." But as Pedigree stated, a trip to the friendzone is a one-way trip, but if you want to go beyond that then you have to do something daring such as making a U-Turn and heading the other way, despite the fact that you're going to have to run over some obstacles. Link to post Share on other sites
thewomantoblame Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 I agree that her reply was he dreaded friend zone reply. It's not insurmountable, but it does take sometime to get out of. I stuck a guy in the friend zone for two years. He became my best friend and when his girlfriend was getting ready to move from Atlanta to be closer to him, realized that things as I knew them weren't ever going to be the same. It was a rough couple of months, but eventually he and I ended up together and dated for 5 years. It's been 4 and a half years since we broke up and I still count him as my best friend. I would suggest just trying to be the best friend he can to her. The best relationships I've ever had have always come from a friendship like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Pedigree Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 if you want to go beyond that then you have to do something daring such as making a U-Turn and heading the other way, despite the fact that you're going to have to run over some obstacles. That's the thing, man. You have the time consuming factor, then you have the risk that after all that time she still hasn't changed the way in which she sees you, and then you also have the risk destroying a friendship. The way out of the friendzone is treacherous but if you've ever been friendzoned, it looks very tempting. Link to post Share on other sites
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