Parents don't like new Boyfriend

[blueyz33]

I've been dating a guy for about 4 weeks. Things have been more than great. We really have hit it off but my parents don't like him.

 

Let me give you a little background about myself and why my parents are extra concerned. I am 23, never been married, a single mom of a 15 month old little boy. My ex is a Royal jerk who my parents as well as myself cannot stand. AKA dead beat dad. So my parents are extremely overly protective of me and my son.

 

Now a little background on my boyfriend. He is 22, a certified welder, and lives on his own. Currently though he has had some troubled time. He receive a DUI and lost his license, while he was at the beach with friends, he was pulled over for going 25mph in a 15mph zone and then was given a breath alizer test.

 

My parents thinks he is a loser because of the DUI. They also were told by my brother that he smokes and has two tattoos. My parents are extremely conservative.

 

I have tried to talk to my parents and tell them that they shouldn't judge him on these issues. I've explained to them that he is a great guy and that I enjoy spending time with him. I also tried turning the situation around saying that someone could judge me on the fact that I have a son and think that you don't want to be with her she might have been around the block, sort of speak because I have a baby. Even though that is no where near the truth and you would know that if you were to get to know me. Therefore, they should get to know him and see that he isn't a loser like they think he is.

 

I have spent time with my boyfriend everyday since we've met and we have had some great conversations and times together. I have learned that he is a very passionate, caring, sincere, selfless person. He has shown me how he puts others before himself. He has shown me that he has strong family values, he is ambitious and wants to succeed in life.

 

I don't know how to get my parents off my back and possibly become open minded about my boyfriend. I care about him very much and I want to get to know as much as I can about him. Please give me some advice and ideas. Thank you,

[Tony T]

His driving and drinking record is totally irrelevant to your dating him. That was a mistake in his past that is over with and, you are right, he should not be judged. It's not like he gets sauced and drives every weekend. This was a one time deal some time ago.

 

However, it indicates a judgement on your part that you elected to tell your parents about his driving record. I don't know of many women who have made it a point of telling their parents about my driving record, although it's flawless.

 

So the fact that you disclosed this information to your mother and father, fully knowing exactly how they would feel, indicates to me that you subconsciously wanted them not to like him. At your age, it's often the kiss of death for a guy when a girl's parents like him anyway so maybe you did the guy a favor.

 

So instead of being upset at your parents for feeling EXACTLY the way you fully knew they would feel, ask yourself precisely why you gave them this information...when there was no reason whatsoever to do so.

 

For some reason, I think you wanted to get a rise out of them...or destroy the relationship. Get to the bottom of this so you don't continue doing this in the future.

[blueyz33]

I agree with what you have to say Tony, however, I didn't enclose this information to my parents. My brother told my parents about these things. My brother's roommate's sister's friend is my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend, if you can follow that . I wouldn't have enclosed this information knowing that my parents wouldn't approve.

[wideawake]

Your brother sounds like a real pain in the ass. Not that this has anything to do with the topic, but JEEZZ!

 

Time? Maybe if they spend more time with him (dinners, etc...) they will eventually come around?