Lexis Posted June 17, 2003 Share Posted June 17, 2003 I have been dating with guy for about 2 months now.. And he is so nice and sweet to me and i would never ask for more. We had a mishap a few weeks ago where we forgot to use a condom. And he is new at the whole sex thing.. So he did not poll out. And i have been freaking out for the last few days.. And he has not really wanted to talk about it.. So where does a girl go, To her best freind for some help. So i told her. And well she has some what of a big mouth and told some ppl. He found out and fliped on me. ( by the way i am not prego. ) He was like i can not believe you told anyone that was wrong and i never want to talk to u again. I never told anyone.. I was almost crying.. Well i got him to stop yelling at me and now he is in the Bahammas on a Vaction with his friend. He said he would call me when he got there well its day 2 and still no phone call. Adn i tryed to say that i never said anything to anyone but my friend.. But for some reason that was wrong.. I know there is nothing i can do until he gets home but. I am scared and dont want to lose him... Any help? Link to post Share on other sites
Just A Girl2 Posted June 17, 2003 Share Posted June 17, 2003 Lexis, I'm sure this guy is embarassed, okay, fine. But he has a severe case of Alzheimer's, he didn't "forget" to use a condom. Hopefully this little incident will have instilled enough fear in him that he never "forgets" to practice safer-sex again. Look at the stress you've gone through? No doubt you were worried sick about the very real possibility of becoming pregnant. And, you're not off the hook, either. Seeing how it's the gal who'd be the one to become pregnant, it's up to her just as much to ensure that the guy she's intimate with is using proper protection. The guy would have to be a large putz to be so shocked that you'd have confided in a friend about this. Good God, guys are notorious for bragging it up to 'the boys' about their sexual conquests......and chicks generally just have to accept that and chalk it up to 'men behaving badly'..yet here you were, sharing your fears and real concerns with a friend (who just happened to have a big mouth).......no biggie. He's likely just had his pride stomped on a bit because he's afraid the rumor will go around that he's not too experienced when it comes to sex. Regardless though, for him to react so strongly and tell you that he doesn't want to talk to you again..that's harsh and extreme. I wouldn't put up with that kind of mistreatment and disrespect from anyone, nor should you. If he's going to act like a t!t whenever something in his relationship doesn't go his way and be rude to you, screw him ...move on and find someone who's more mature..and also, is responsible in terms of ensuring he's using a condom. JAG Link to post Share on other sites
Gray Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 Originally posted by Just A Girl2 Lexis, But he has a severe case of Alzheimer's, he didn't "forget" to use a condom. Hopefully this little incident will have instilled enough fear in him that he never "forgets" to practice safer-sex again. It takes two to tango there. She didn't "forget" either. If this is your/his first encouter with a scare like this I would say its fairly normal for both of you to freak out. Him saying he isn't going to talk to you is pretty cruel of him though. I had a scare like that. At the time i was in college and had no way of dealing with that. I took it out on friends for a few days, but never my girlfriend. But if he found out through someone else, I could see being a little upset. Instead of freaking out now, I'd go think along the lines "hey we both freaked out things are fine." He's in the Bahammas you said, so calling isn't completely convenient. So don't fret now. ONCE he gets back though, if he doesn't call you and you guys don't talk and work things out. THEN you can think about what kind of a punk he is. Either way, I'm sure you'll both remember condoms now. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 how dares he flip out at you & disbelieve you? he almost got you pregnant! how dares he promise to call & not do so? if i were you, i'd be done with this boy. strike 3 means out. good luck, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Gray Posted June 19, 2003 Share Posted June 19, 2003 I'm gonna have to defend the guy again, as long as he does call and you guys work things out. If he's truly avoiding you then everything I say is null and void. I'm walking down the street. I run into a friend of a friend of a friend. This friend of a friend of a friend says "Hey Gray. Man, I heard you almost knocked up Lexi, or Lexus or whatever. Damn! Dodged a bullet there didn't ya bro? Alright I'm off to class I'll see you at some random party next week and we can all talk about how you banged your girlfriend without a condom. Later!" I'm not supposed to get upset at that? This was a PRIVATE conversation. I'm not saying don't talk to close friends, but the friend she talked to blabbed, not a good choice. The guy had 100% right to be upset. Again that being said, he doesn't have the right to ignore her. He does need to apoligize (because you women should know if we don't, even if we're in the right, we hear about it. I'll go out on a limb and say 30% of the time guys apologize, we don't know why, we just know we have to). If things aren't smoothed over this guy has issues. But then again I would never tell this girl my PIN. Link to post Share on other sites
yagottahelp Posted June 19, 2003 Share Posted June 19, 2003 This is a little lat in the post, but calling from the Bahamas is almost impossible from my personal experience.......I wouldn't read into that much at all, I had bought a 60 minute worldwide att phonecard last year, when I finally after 2 hours got through enough operators and stuff to make a call home saying i had gotten there safe, I had 2 minutes of time-------a 60 minute phone card was transformed into 2 minutes since i was in the bahamas, so trust me, calling from there is next to impossible- Link to post Share on other sites
wideawake Posted June 19, 2003 Share Posted June 19, 2003 Yeah, Depending on what carrier is being used wherever he is staying, he may not even have an option of calling (unless he goes elsewhere...) But calling from ANYWHERE in the Caribbean is a real pain. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lexis Posted June 20, 2003 Author Share Posted June 20, 2003 Well my boyfriend got home from the Bahamma's tonight around 11ish and he has not called to say anything.. He has my house and cell... I am just hopeing he calls... His best friend. Said that he had called him a few times and said that there were pulnty of girls to go around... I am not sure if he is telling the truth.. Link to post Share on other sites
Just A Girl2 Posted June 20, 2003 Share Posted June 20, 2003 Originally posted by Gray It takes two to tango there. She didn't "forget" either. Um, no sh*t. Which is why I did address her by saying: And, you're not off the hook, either. Seeing how it's the gal who'd be the one to become pregnant, it's up to her just as much to ensure that the guy she's intimate with is using proper protection. Link to post Share on other sites
Just A Girl2 Posted June 20, 2003 Share Posted June 20, 2003 Okay, so he's home now and hasn't called..and he's made this comment to his friend that there's plenty of girls out there. He yelled at you on the phone prior to his leaving. Count up the "big warning signs here" and hopefully you'll come to the conclusion that the guy is a childish, possibly-abusive (nobody should yell at anyone) loser. Forget about him. Move on. Don't worry yourself about the fact that he's not calling. The most important lesson from all of this is thatyou could have easily ended up pregnant due to unprotected sex. Learn from that lesson in the future. If you're going to have sex with anyone, get down to your local clinic or doctor's office or Planned Parenthood clinic and talk to someone about proper birth control and protecting yourself from sexually transmitted diseases. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lexis Posted June 20, 2003 Author Share Posted June 20, 2003 I think i am going to just drop him all together cause i am sick of waiting for him to call. Its hurting me and the things i do. I have horses well 46 of them and i show all year around and i have a show this weekend and my horses are not even ready cause i have been waiting by the phone for him.. I need to get my life back on track and do what i do best.. And forget him... Thanks a lot... Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted June 20, 2003 Share Posted June 20, 2003 sounds like a good idea! good luck with the show. horses are amazing - learning to ride one is the first t hing i'm going to do when i can affford it. -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lexis Posted June 23, 2003 Author Share Posted June 23, 2003 My horse show went great. Saturday night i went out to a party which i was told that my ex. was not going to.. What happen they showed up.. We talked for a bit and all.. He said that he does not hate me for what was said but he does not want to be with me cause he likes someone else. I also found out this girl he likes theres no way in hell hes getting her cause she has a boyfriend and they have been together for like 3 years and she loves him and wants my ex. to stop call her.. I am all up set now cause he told me this and he still wants things to go back as if we were friends and nothing happen.. Then another thing is that he said he would call me after he got done going something with his mom today which ended at 7ish and he would call and we would go do something.. Yeha he never called... I hate this i try not to hink about him and move on and he comes back.. ennhhhhh Link to post Share on other sites
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