atrulygoodguy Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 OK, here is the scenario. My ex g/f and I broke up one week ago, after a 4 year relationship (we are both 28). I did not contact her after we broke up so that we could clear our heads for a while. Our last day together was Sunday morning. During her move out she left her sunglasses at my parents house (saturday) on accident. By Wednesday she decided to stop by and pick them up. My Mother had called her on the phone earlier in the day and invited her to come by and get them and to eat dinner if she wished. So, I decided to be there because I hadn't seen her in a few days and I was missing her. Here is the thing, she dropped by, ate dinner and hung out for quite a while, even though she knew I was there (she saw my car in the driveway). We spoke alone and she basically did and said whatever she could to have me believe that she was completely ok and over the situation. I was really hurt that she could get over me so easily, though I didn't necessarily believe it. It had only been three days at that point. I didn't call her after that evening either. By the next Sunday, one week after our breakup, she called me. I have two dogs and she said that she was calling me to wish me a happy fathers day....right. In the meantime, while I was on the phone with her I heard a cell phone ring in the background. I played dumb and said, oh cool you got your home phone hooked up. Her reply was, no that "someone else's phone." She then furthered with, "I am at someone else's house and we are going to lay out by the pool." she would never say that someone's name but I heard a man's voice. Anyway, she said that she really missed the dogs and wanted to come over on Monday and see them, I said fine. Later that day my best friend called me and told me that, about a half hour before she called me, he had called her to wish her well. He said that when he called her, a man answered her phone. When she got on the phone she bragged to my friend that she had lost all of this weight and that she was dating and having such a great time. She also said, right in front of the new guy she is dating, that she loves me to death but she knows this is for the best. My question is, if she is dating someone new and is so happy, why would she call me 30 minutes after telling my best friend that she is dating this guy? Why would she call me from her new man's house and talk to me for 20 minutes while he waited outside? and Why would she want to come see the dogs so soon, only one week after our breakup? Since that day she has come by to see the dogs, she was at my home for an hour and really only spent about 10 minutes of that with the dogs.... Is she messing with me because I haven't been calling her? If so, what should I do? Tell her to not contact me any longer? Any advice is appreciated. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Just A Girl2 Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 First of all, WHOSE idea was it to end things, and WHY? After 4 yrs together, well...that's a significant amount of time. It's important to know WHO was the one to instigate the breakup, and was it mutual....because it knowing this info will affect the responses you receive. If she was the one to instigate the breakup and she's pulling the stunts that's she's pulling, then I'd advise you to have nothing more to do with her and her lame reasons for contacting you. If on the other hand, you were the one to instigate the breakup, it's very possible that she's wanting to get back with you and is trying to make you jealous so you'll beg her to come back. So what's the scoop here? Link to post Share on other sites
atrulygoodguy Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 Ok, here is the scoop. Our breakup was mutual, we argued quite a bit and it just came to a head one day... I found out from her best friend that she is dating this new guy, just today. Some friends of mine saw them at the pool on that Sunday and said they were holding hands and kissing and stuff.. Link to post Share on other sites
Just A Girl2 Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 Are you positive it was really a mutual decision? I mean, is it possible at all that deep down she didn't really want to break up with you.....and out of some kind of revenge, to hurt you, she's doing the things she's doing just to, hmm, maybe see if you still care? are jealous? Or maybe she's immediately gotten together with this new guy in an attempt to forget about you (or try to).....kind of like a distraction. If I were you, though......if you have absolutely no desire to ever be with her again, particularly considering she's now with someone else, I'd put an end to the 'visits to the dogs' and any other lame excuse....just seems pointless to me. How do you feel now that she's with someone else? Link to post Share on other sites
atrulygoodguy Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 Yeah, here is the situation. I told her today that I think that we should not contact one another anymore. She went ballistic, she was andry, saying things like why? I didn't do anything wrong, and why the change of emotion? She was wanting to know what she had done and also threatening to take back the one dog that she paid for but, he loves his dad so she left him. I even told her, look, if you want to see the dogs just call my mom and she will rig it up. She wasn't happy even with that. I know for a fact that she slept at this dudes house saturday night. I also know that she was holding hands and kissing on him all day at the pool...I am REALLY angry. I wound up haning up on her and she kept calling for like 30 minutes...leaving threatening voice mails and being basically almost in tears she was so upset and angry. I honestly think this guy is a rebound, other wise she would have never called me from his house on "the day after." Homeboy must have a little winkie or something if she thinks to wish me a happy fathers day the day after she spent the night with him. So yeah, I am mad. Link to post Share on other sites
yagottahelp Posted June 19, 2003 Share Posted June 19, 2003 I know where you're coming from-dont' worry I've been in it and seen it before, the person wants to break it off- you are the one that is like ok, and try to deal with it.......so when you reallllly try to break it off, they get upset. It makes no sense whatsoever. You have to do what is good for you-if she really cares, she'll be back. Something tells me if she get sthat upset over it, there's som love an anger there- give it time. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts