sungrl Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 i went out with my good friend for her b-day along with her b/f and my b/f her b/f is a nice guy and doesnt mean any harm to anyone..but he said something stupid...my b/f's car is not working right now and so he was using another one. And my friend's b/f asked so what is wrong with the car? and my b/f said oh she broke it(referring to me in a joking way)..and i said something in reply and my friends b/f took what was being said seriously it seemed and said oh because of the weight? i cant believe he said that..i am not the skinniest girl in the world but i look good b/c i have nice curves...but i was really mad he said that and what made things worse is my b/f started laughing...not laughing like yeah he is right..but still laughing at what he said b/c he knew the guy said something stupid..my friends b/f apologized so many times saying he did not mean anything by it. but i was still mad at my my b/f and he actually then got serious and couldnt believe i was mad..he said are u kidding me? he said he was laughing b/c i knew he said something he shouldnt have and he knew it too after he said it and you know he didnt mean anything by it..i was still mad at MY B/F though for laughing no matter what way he meant to laugh at it..i felt he should have said "thats a little messed up, do you want to rephrase that" or something to stand up for me..he didnt have to beat up the guy but say something..but i just kind of got mad...i let it go b/c its not the end of the world and i know the b/f didnt mean anything by it and i know i am not overweight or anything am i underreacting? Link to post Share on other sites
blackbird Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 Overreacting, IMO. I like how your boyfriend reacted. By laughing I think he was trying to diffuse the situation and show how ridiculous the comment was. If he had actually gotten mad about it and become confrontational for your sake, I think that would have seemed overly defensive, and in my experience people are usually quick to be defensive when they actually feel there's some truth to what they're perceiving as an attack. Link to post Share on other sites
Racquel Colette Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 Maybe the weight thing was stated as a joke because it is obvious you are not fat by any means but very beautiful and desirable, so it was ironic humor. So in essence the joke was a compliment? That's what i think. Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 Very difficult situation the BF was in. I'm not sure how I might have handled the situation, it might come down to who was smiling, or not. Being "angry" is at least an over reaction. That is unless he left a clean shirt on the backseat of his broken automobile. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucasarts Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 hmm i can understand why you would be mad, but honestly if you're proud of your body then who cares? Thats how your boyfriend sees it too, if he thought the guy was saying something offensive, then he would do something about it. But the fact of the matter is, he is still with you, he probably loves you, and he doesn't care about what that guy said because hes the one with you, not the other guy. Him laughing it off was probably his way of saying that this guy has no clue what he's talking about, and that he said something that most people wouldn't say in front of the victim of the joke/statement (you). Wanting your boyfriend to stand up for you is understandable, not unreasonable. The guy did not call you names, mocked you for your weight, or degrade you in any way. The reference to your weight was a comment off of a joke your boyfriend told. It's hard to really explain, but because he didn't just straight up tell you that your fat, then it was probably never an intentional insult. It sounded more like a joke off a joke (some people have a poor delivery of a joke), and thats just how it is taken. Link to post Share on other sites
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