How To Tell if your SO Is Lying to You

[zilverenvlinder]

This is easy, and I can't believe it took me ten years of relationships (three serious) to figure this out! So I'm just passing along some wisdom.

 

Do you really want to find out if he or she is lying to you? It's not about his or her eye movements or hand gestures...those are too difficult to decipher.

 

I realized this last week. I found out my fiance was cheating on me with another woman for four months, six or seven months ago, and thus we have (tried) to get past it. I still have feelings of jealousy and disgust towards him and extreme hatred toward this beastly slut.

 

But last week, when me and him and his mother and stepsister were at dinner together, he looked his mother straight in the face and told her, "I just got promoted to office manager last week. I have my own office and they're talking about recommending me for..." blah blah. I can't remember what he said.

 

My mouth dropped open. He did not get promoted. He got a 50 cent raise. He still works in his little cubicle next to about twenty people. He has the same position he's had for two years. I know. I visited him there the day before.

 

I couldn't believe he blatantly lied to his mother like that. And that's when I realized that if he could do it so easily to her...why wouldn't he be able to do it to me? You should have heard it flow out of his mouth! It was so natural!

 

So just listen next time he or she is talking to his friends or relatives. If he's lying about something, he will sound so convincing it's disgusting. A lot of cheaters are pathological liars. Chances are they are lying and cheating on you.

 

Just words of wisdom for the evening.

[Lucasarts]

well its interesting that you plan on still marrying a man who already has a track record of cheating on for you a good amount of time. I'd have to say im not surprised he lied to his mother, probably to make her feel better about his situation (his marriage to you, debt, bills, etc). Anyways, the main focus is on the lying thing.

 

Some people are skilled liars, and you may never really know if they are lying or not (however if they are really good at it, well then they've been lying for a good amount of time). Reading the eyes and hand gestures really doesn't prove much of anything, as each individual is different to their approach (some even know of the signs of liars and mask them well). Eye dilation is hard to read as well, because if it is someone they like that they are talking to, its not a guarentee that they are lying or a sign of attraction.

 

What you are suggesting really isnt a foolproof way of finding out a liar, especially if he is talking to you like that. How would you know? Unless you just started being suspicious of everything he did/said (which i would in your relationship) its hard to really know when a skilled liar is putting one over you.

In truth the only way to find out is if you ask a lot of questions that all focus on the same thing ( making him re-tell a story, an event, etc. that he said happened to him) and watch if he can recount every detail from the first time he said. Also look to see how convincing he sounds and if he can just bring it all back or struggles to remember his own false words again. This is not a guarenteed way to uncover him/her, but it is a good way to catch him off guard.