cutegirl Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 Also, the number of partners a guy had would bother me because I kind of dislike other women, I have a very competitive nature and other women are a threat. Especially if my guy has been with them, what if he still fantasizes about them, or think sex with them was better, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 I am not saying this to insult but if you want any chance of having a successful relationship you need to work out these issues. Sure my wife been with other men but she chose me to marry and that is what matters. Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 You've met the girls I've been with? Small world. LOL... maybe we have a few in common! Link to post Share on other sites
JosieMcCoy Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 LOL... maybe we have a few in common! Wow. you guys really get around! Make a list and see who matches! Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 Just MO of course, but there was no need for a post like the one you posted. A post like that coming from anyone looks like an arrogant comment. There was most certainly a need. Your post that I was responding to implied that I was more into just sleeping around than I was into relationships. And I know you know that's not the case just from LS history. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 I would really be interested in trading fantasies girl to girl. I wonder how similar they would be? or different? I'll go first if you want! PM me sometime! I would like that very much! I think it's about time we bring this topic elsewhere (PM) - we're going off-topic! Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 There was most certainly a need. Your post that I was responding to implied that I was more into just sleeping around than I was into relationships. And I know you know that's not the case just from LS history. I read your posts and I am aware that you are in search of Ms. Tanbark and of course you are meeting Ms. Right Now's along the way, but that post could have been written in a modest sense. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 I read your posts and I am aware that you are in search of Ms. Tanbark and of course you are meeting Ms. Right Now's along the way, but that post could have been written in a modest sense. Yes, it could have. And your post about had you been a man-whore could have been written in a non-judgmental sense. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 Yes, it could have. And your post about had you been a man-whore could have been written in a non-judgmental sense. Looking back at it, I'll give you that. I could have written it in a non-judgmental sense. I do have a problem with guys and gals who brag about their numbers, but my apologies. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 Looking back at it, I'll give you that. I could have written it in a non-judgmental sense. I do have a problem with guys and gals who brag about their numbers, but my apologies. FWIW, I'm not trying to brag, just trying to give another perspective. It strikes a nerve with me when people try to correlate numbers of sexual partners with faithfulness when, IME, the two are simply not related. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 FWIW, I'm not trying to brag, just trying to give another perspective. It strikes a nerve with me when people try to correlate numbers of sexual partners with faithfulness when, IME, the two are simply not related. and not once did I say that someone with many partners is any less faithful. I just stated that its a turn-off for me and I would want them to be tested. Link to post Share on other sites
underpants Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 Yes. The choice of the term "man-whore" rather than the neutral term "more experienced" is indicative of that. Hey, the correct term is "ladies man". FWIW, I'm not trying to brag, just trying to give another perspective. It strikes a nerve with me when people try to correlate numbers of sexual partners with faithfulness when, IME, the two are simply not related. I fully agree. It is a individually based decision. There really are so many factors that come into play. I would not ask, nor shy away from someone based on a number. Other character traits are more telling to me. Link to post Share on other sites
oppath Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 I'll admit, I've been a little promiscuous this year. I haven't talked about it on LS because it's nothing to brag about. What I have learned, however, is something invaluable. Even in casual sex, I want the woman to sleep with me because of who she thinks I am as a whole person, and I want to feel that way about them too. I want a woman to sleep with me because me as a whole person makes her happy in general during our time together -- a date, hanging out, whenever -- and sexually happy only in specific. Learning that lesson is making me more specific in who I date. I slept with a couple women and immediately afterwards realized: I am now way more intimate with them than our experiences and connection merit, and I'm not sure how happy in general they make me, so it's just not right to have sex with them and really, it's not right for us to date. It would have been nice to have that foresight earlier, but I'm 28, I lost my virginity at 22 (.5), and didn't start dating until 24. That whole 16/18-24 range of dating, I did not experience. In some ways, I've wanted to play catch up, and in some ways I've wanted external validation that I am attractive or desirable because let me tell you: learning how to date late is a bitch in terms of behavior and asserting boundaries. Some of my first dates/gf's were not considerate or patient about my lack of experience and any hesitancy I had. They'd outright belittle me for it. You can say "bitches" but they just expected a 24 year old man to have a better idea, moreso confidence than technique or skills. I'd be insulted. I've been called a two pump chump who sucks in bed. And of course, I kept dating those girls. The last two women I've been serious about have claimed I was their best lover ever. The psycho hose beast of an ex wanted to be FWB 1.5 weeks later, asking via email, after she cheated on me and didn't tell me. It devastated me. Like all my friends told me: it's a compliment, not an insult, at least she thought I was good in bed . My sexual experiences the past couple years have made me a more sensitive, more introspective, more intuitive person. I've become who I am because of a variety of experiences -- not in bed -- but as a person. I feel the next step for me will be to accept love and grow within a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
cutegirl Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 Nice post oppath, Another reason though why I would not date a guy with lots of sex partners though is also resentment that I didn't have the same. I would be jealous because he got to have sex with lots of different women while I didn't... I would feel like it's not equal. The only reason why I haven't had lots of partners is because I'm socially inhibited and very shy/reserved. I bet if I wasn't so inhibited I would be a whore and sleep with 100guys. I don't have anything morally against having indiscriminate sex, my morals are loose, I barely have any to be honest. It's about jealousy about the women in the guys past and anger that I didn't experience the same things. It's like they got to have fun and I didn't, even though the only thing holding me back is myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 I feel the next step for me will be to accept love and grow within a relationship. You will... I have faith in you, Wetwoppath. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 I stated earlier that I'd have a problem with my guy if he slept with a lot of women but so long as I don't know the exact amount - fine by me BUT he must be clean. A few guys who were interested in me find it sad that I have only been with 2 men.. so did a few of my friends. I don't get that but hey, whatever works for them! Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 Personally, I wouldn't ask. I wouldn't care. I would respect his/her privacy on the matter. If the info were offered up to me, I still wouldn't care. It would be inconsequential. What would matter is how the two of us are together. Link to post Share on other sites
oppath Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 A few guys who were interested in me find it sad that I have only been with 2 men.. so did a few of my friends. I don't get that but hey, whatever works for them! That's a line. They were trying to get you to be FWB. And they are idiots. They would be lucky to be one of the two. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 A few guys who were interested in me find it sad that I have only been with 2 men.. so did a few of my friends. I don't get that but hey, whatever works for them! They probably felt that you were shy and that your shyness was limiting you to two guys or........ They are worried that only having two guys under your belt makes you less experienced sex wise. Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 Lyssa, What's sad is their thinking it was sad. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 That's a line. They were trying to get you to be FWB. And they are idiots. They would be lucky to be one of the two. I never understand the whole FWB thing - I can't say that enough! They are worried that only having two guys under your belt makes you less experienced sex wise. That could be it! But I think having a creative and wild imagination really helps... and is even better than having too many partners. Also, you can learn from one another and explore together..... *sigh* Lyssa, What's sad is their thinking it was sad. Thanks, Marlena... I thought so too. Link to post Share on other sites
underpants Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 The number issue is all relative. I know a guy that married his first. Over 20 years later she left him for his best friend. Severe burn. He told me this and I was all like you have only had one partner? Then I quickly corrected myself and acknowledged that he lived that "first and true love" ending that for so many does not happen. He got to experience that for over 20 years and as sad as it is that it came to an end. He did have that. Now he is all about sowing his lost oats, and I would not date him. He is dating on a 10th grade level. He is a 40 year old girl crazy maniac. The number thing is all relative. I have had a few "I hope he is the one" guys that just did not want to be "the one". It makes me no less of a good partner because they were not. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 That could be it! But I think having a creative and wild imagination really helps... and is even better than having too many partners. Also, you can learn from one another and explore together..... *sigh* Either way you can gain experience but its less risky and better for your health to do it with one person. Link to post Share on other sites
oppath Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 Either way you can gain experience but its less risky and better for your health to do it with one person. But it's more fun if you do it with me Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 But it's more fun if you do it with me Easy there killer. I'm not Lyssa. Link to post Share on other sites
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