why do some girls date down p

[joel]

one of these girls is 20 and the other is like 27

can i ask u why some girls the ones i knew get involved with guys who are dealers-break the law, pothead-stupid ,"but he was fun to hang out with, even more fun when he was high", pretty much low life losers -funny thing is the girl is univ educated graduate and going to bcit now too. so why she hang out with a pothead loser that smokes it all the time.

she tells me shes the party type and does crazy things-huh what is crazy things. lol hahah

 

u think she go for the univ doctor, lawyer, accountant and big shot guy hey but no. weird hey.

 

why get involved with a dealer, pothead drop out, in the first place anyways. i mean whast next hanging out with welfare bums lol

you think some girls would date up so ur status is higher. dating up is a term. who dates down to lowlifes

lets say your a girl and you went to private school, got a univ bach education why the heck would you date and be with a pothead HS dropout , a dealer. lol good luck introducing them to your family. mine lol i be disowned.

 

-even my folks say this---another question would a doctor want to marry/date a garabage man. ????? i don't think so. it happens ,but its far and few between. doctor would usually marry.date another doctor or another high end profession. you want to date better a higher status person, go better yourself , get a higher education and a higher paying job. higher status means more respect and honour. less people will look down on you and belittle you.

 

the term dating up. getting up the social ladder. so why did these girls go for these kind of guys:the Highschool drop out, dealer, smokes weed like all day everyday,

 

yes but would u want to date/marry a guy who didn;t finish HS/does p/t job in retail making minimu wage like all his life and hes happy with it, and hes want to marry u.i mean imagine telling you folks,f reinds about this guy

 

just tellin someone ur a doctor, lawyer means something=ppl look up to u, ur educated, smart, ambitous,...etc u think ppl look up to welfare bums lol

at a party how many ppl want to talk to a person when he tells u he works in warehouse and hes like older than 27, i doubt few ppl do, i think more ppl want to talk to that doctor, surgeon. why u can learn someting from him, and also prestige and status

[SeraBella]

well, if someone is dating up, the other half must be dating down...unless everyone dates on equal footing.

 

maybe the "losers" are just trying to "date up" and get ahead.

 

maybe those girls are into drugs and those boyfriends are provding it for them.

[stillafool]

Well I guess these professional women date down the for the same reason professional men did - they are attracted to the persons looks and personality. Women today do not have to date up if they don't want to. They are making their own money and don't need a man financially anymore - that's why they were going for the doctors, lawyers, accountants, etc. When you take money out of the picture, they are free to choose a man they are sexually attracted to.

 

I think women are dating "down" more these days than men. I think men, like you, are more concerned about marrying an educated, professional woman. I don't think however it's right to call it dating "down" as no person is better than another.

[fishtaco]

Women are attracted men that are fun and exciting to be with. And that's it. They can be jerks, lawyers, pot heads, ex-cons, bankers, biker gang members, doesn't matter. Although to be more accurate, different women are willing to go to different lengths in order to get that man that's fun and exciting. Not every woman is willing to date drug dealers and criminals. But maybe they'll put up with a jerk or a loser.

 

The wise ones though, once they've done enough partying with the bad boys, will marry someone with "financial stability" over fun and exciting. The pot heads and ex-cons usually don't qualify in that area.

 

Your view of dating "up" or "down" is a very male-centric view. Women don't look at it the same way. Whoever is fun and exciting, is "up", whoever is boring, is "down". Unless they are the "wise ones" I mentioned earlier and they're on the hunt for a husband.

 

This is generalization of course. Nothing is absolute. I'm sure there's at least one woman out there that'd prefer a boring guy over an exciting guy, and at least one woman out there that won't consider financial stability as a quality in a marriage partner. But with your and my experiences, a lot of women seem to fall into the category that I described.

[bozwa]

I guess we as women don't view it that way. Money means absolutely nothing to me. I work in a professional arena and make decent money. My boyfriend is a blue collar southern boy who makes less than me. Do I judge him for that? NO! He works hard, has wonderful work ethic, is contributing to our life, is a wonderful person all around. I am with him because he is sweet and romantic and he gets me like other man ever has. I paid no attention to his wallet when I met him.

 

I've dated the real estate broker, the computer programmer, the electrical engineer, the business owner, etc etc. There was no connection, and their flashing their 6-figure salary in my face meant absolutely nothing. There are gold diggers out there who would have eaten that up. FORTUNATELY, I am not one of them, and luckily there are more women out there like me than the gold diggers.

 

Would you say I'm dating "down". Yeah, you probably would. Do I say I'm dating down? Hell no. I'm dating the cream of the crop.

[burning 4 revenge]

Stillafool pretty much covered it. Women used to date for status and security, but these days sexual chemsitry is the number one priority. Thats why its become more common for women to look for younger guys than themselves instead of older

[bozwa]

Stillafool pretty much covered it. Women used to date for status and security, but these days sexual chemsitry is the number one priority. Thats why its become more common for women to look for younger guys than themselves instead of older

 

Plus, nowadays, women don't NEED to date for status and security. We can get that for ourselves. Now we can choose people for ourselves who truly serve our EMOTIONAL and SEXUAL needs rather than our monetary and social needs.

[cutegirl]

I have my own money and status. I don't need a penny from a man. Sexual chemistry is the most important. If you are a doctor but have no sexual chemistry with me and if I'm not attracted you can go F yourself. I'd rather use my vibrator.

 

There's NOTHING a man can give me that I cannot give myself. I would rather die than be with a man because of his money. That's implying that I'm inferior, btw I earn more than lots of men out there. I don't need money from a man. I pay for myself. I open my own doors. I hate men who think they are hot just cause they are doctor or lawyer. Your degree and money don't impress me. I'd rather date a bum just to piss off the doctor/lawyer. Your prestige cant buy me.

Edited January 17, 2008 by cutegirl

[blue16]

I have my own money and status. I don't need a penny from a man. Sexual chemistry is the most important. If you are a doctor but have no sexual chemistry with me and if I'm not attracted you can go F yourself. I'd rather use my vibrator.

 

There's NOTHING a man can give me that I cannot give myself. I would rather die than be with a man because of his money. That's implying that I'm inferior, btw I earn more than lots of men out there. I don't need money from a man. I pay for myself. I open my own doors. I hate men who think they are hot just cause they are doctor or lawyer. Your degree and money don't impress me. I'd rather date a bum just to piss off the doctor/lawyer. Your prestige cant buy me.

 

/end angryrant

[joel]

ppl say you date you date for the person and not his status and rank. you think a girl whos univ educated with a master degree and good 6 figure job would really really be dating a guy with a community college 2 yr schooling and working as a office clerk and making a little over minimum wage-happens its damn rare. my friend is the community college guy, and even he said i doubt she date me. they went out once and that was it. she dating a mba guy now.

 

i mean what would her parents think, her close friends think-ah why you dating Jeff -he has no car, he has no education, he just works in a call centre. "i think you can do a lot better". i mean why would a decent univ educated, good paid job professional girl making 60k or up and more want to be with has a decent nice new car rsx, TL, and new want to date a guy who has community college schoooling for 1 year, making like what a entry level tech support would make approx 25k-30k or even less, buses everywhere

 

my buddie had no car and he buses everywhere. he can get a car, but chooses not to since he like to keep his expenses down.he also doesn;t make a lot of money either, might go back to school so he doesn;t buy a car. and he had girls make a big deal as to why he has no car, and when he was goin to get a car. he buses out to her area and location to hang out with her(40 min bus ride). we live in vancouver and transit is pretty good.

[halfarock]

It is more about chemistry than anything else. Whenever I hear guys going on about women dating losers and jerks I always get the idea that they don’t understand how relationships work. You’ll hear some guy going I’m decent looking, I have a good job, a nice car, a big house, blah, blah, blah…. Then they’ll say that that they just can’t understand why instead of choosing him the girl of his dreams falls for some loser. Besides sounding like sour grapes it becomes evident that the guy doesn’t get it as far as the interaction between women and men goes. This becomes even more evident when you see him pursuing women with whom he has nothing in common with.

 

Whenever someone has plenty of options they will almost always pick the one with whom they are most compatible, the person with whom they have the most chemistry. I often tell people that my girlfriend is the prettiest women in all of Oregon, but the reality is that regardless of her looks, we get along very well, I can communicate with her very easily, and we see the world very much the same way. We are best friends.

 

If you think that a woman, or even a man, is dating down then you probably don’t see or understand the relationship that they are having.

[Green]

It is more about chemistry than anything else. Whenever I hear guys going on about women dating losers and jerks I always get the idea that they don’t understand how relationships work. You’ll hear some guy going I’m decent looking, I have a good job, a nice car, a big house, blah, blah, blah…. Then they’ll say that that they just can’t understand why instead of choosing him the girl of his dreams falls for some loser. Besides sounding like sour grapes it becomes evident that the guy doesn’t get it as far as the interaction between women and men goes. This becomes even more evident when you see him pursuing women with whom he has nothing in common with.

 

Whenever someone has plenty of options they will almost always pick the one with whom they are most compatible, the person with whom they have the most chemistry. I often tell people that my girlfriend is the prettiest women in all of Oregon, but the reality is that regardless of her looks, we get along very well, I can communicate with her very easily, and we see the world very much the same way. We are best friends.

 

If you think that a woman, or even a man, is dating down then you probably don’t see or understand the relationship that they are having.

 

You hit the issue I spotted, this guy doesnt seem to understand relationships, He seems to think people should just go around with some set of financial/academic criteria when looking for dates. Its not that rare to see a 20 yr old girl dating some loser it really isnt

[I Luv the Chariot OH]

I have my own money and status. I don't need a penny from a man. Sexual chemistry is the most important. If you are a doctor but have no sexual chemistry with me and if I'm not attracted you can go F yourself. I'd rather use my vibrator.

 

There's NOTHING a man can give me that I cannot give myself. I would rather die than be with a man because of his money. That's implying that I'm inferior, btw I earn more than lots of men out there. I don't need money from a man. I pay for myself. I open my own doors. I hate men who think they are hot just cause they are doctor or lawyer. Your degree and money don't impress me. I'd rather date a bum just to piss off the doctor/lawyer. Your prestige cant buy me.

Wonderfully said!

 

If someone told me I was "settling" for my boyfriend because he didn't go to university, I'd laugh at them. How ignorant and judgmental can people be?

 

OP, I suggest you get over your jealousy of these "losers" who get all the girls, and maybe you can get girls too

[ratzskinakie]

I agree with the chemistry thing, but also some women just like dating around rather than looking for a man to marry, so they make more exceptions to the type of guys they date.

[Lovelybird]

there is golden rule for why people search out their type: spiritual development level, similar attract similar

 

a woman love money over any other important things (her spiritual level at certain low degree), she search out the one who is rich but has low spiritual development

 

a woman who has high education level, it doesn't nessesary mean that she has high spiritual development, education and spiritual development are completely two different things. but through experiences and hardship, she may sharpen her judgement and develop her spiritual side IF she has open mind and a strong will of changing and bravery not afraid of the journey of self-knowlege

 

a tall beautiful woman can love a short bald man, why? his spirituality is higher than her, and she is attracted to that.

Because human 's ultimate desire is to develop spiritually toward perfection, no one can escape this. the sooner they realize this, the better they can go;

 

women and men who date around and waste their time are afraid of facing their inner being, fear discovery of real self, so they created drama over and over, deal with drama is much better than facing their real self in their opinion

 

Oh, and chemistry begin from where??? the mind and heart.

 

People who has low spiritual development is prone to cheat

Edited January 18, 2008 by Lovelybird

[Green]

there is golden rule for why people search out their type: spiritual development level, similar attract similar

 

a woman love money over any other important things (her spiritual level at certain low degree), she search out the one who is rich but has low spiritual development

 

a woman who has high education level, it doesn't nessesary mean that she has high spiritual development, education and spiritual development are completely two different things. but through experiences and hardship, she may sharpen her judgement and develop her spiritual side IF she has open mind and a strong will of changing and bravery not afraid of the journey of self-knowlege

 

a tall beautiful woman can love a short bald man, why? his spirituality is higher than her, and she is attracted to that.

Because human 's ultimate desire is to develop spiritually toward perfection, no one can escape this. the sooner they realize this, the better they can go;

 

women and men who date around and waste their time are afraid of facing their inner being, fear discovery of real self, so they created drama over and over, deal with drama is much better than facing their real self in their opinion

 

Oh, and chemistry begin from where??? the mind and heart.

 

People who has low spiritual development is prone to cheat

 

yeah theres a saying you learn if you spend enough time around highly educated people " how is it that some of the smartest people can also be some of the most stupid?" I mean just cause a person has 7 Phd's and 5 houses wouldn't automaticly make them a joy to share your life with.

[cutegirl]

ppl say you date you date for the person and not his status and rank. you think a girl whos univ educated with a master degree and good 6 figure job would really really be dating a guy with a community college 2 yr schooling and working as a office clerk and making a little over minimum wage-happens its damn rare. my friend is the community college guy, and even he said i doubt she date me. they went out once and that was it. she dating a mba guy now.

 

i mean what would her parents think, her close friends think-ah why you dating Jeff -he has no car, he has no education, he just works in a call centre. "i think you can do a lot better". i mean why would a decent univ educated, good paid job professional girl making 60k or up and more want to be with has a decent nice new car rsx, TL, and new want to date a guy who has community college schoooling for 1 year, making like what a entry level tech support would make approx 25k-30k or even less, buses everywhere

 

my buddie had no car and he buses everywhere. he can get a car, but chooses not to since he like to keep his expenses down.he also doesn;t make a lot of money either, might go back to school so he doesn;t buy a car. and he had girls make a big deal as to why he has no car, and when he was goin to get a car. he buses out to her area and location to hang out with her(40 min bus ride). we live in vancouver and transit is pretty good.

 

I make over six figures and I dated a guy for 2 years who was unemployed for half of the time. If he even made 25-30k a year that would have been awesome. When he was employed, he was making $8 an hour, MUCH LESS than your figure of 25-30k a year.My annual income was more than 10x his (literally).

 

I had no problem letting him live with me rent free and I did help pay for most of his bills.

 

I could care less what my friends and family thinks. I'm not close to my family. As for friends, he was actually my friends brother, she was the one who set us up.

 

Also, his car was a piece of junk, 1988 toyota that broke down all the time. I drove him around a lot and I also let him drive my Mercedes around (which he liked to tell some of his guy friends was actually his, when it was mine). I didn't really mind though.

[cutegirl]

Also, one more thing, I actually don't like men who have more money than me or are extremely intelligent/intellectual. I find it too intimidating and I think men like that are MORE likely to cheat on me. There ARE a lot of women who are after these type of men, so why the hell would I want to compete with those other women, there is too much competition. And why would such a guy pick me out of ALL THE WOMEN he has available? Successful men have so many more options and are more likely to cheat.

 

I guess I prefer guys with no ambition because I feel they are more dependent on me and more likely to stay with me. I know this is not true, because my ex STILL ended up leaving me, but with a guy making a low income/being unemployed etc I feel like I have a better chance of keeping him.

 

I also feel like ambitious guys are used to getting what they want and they have a sense of entitlement. I feel like they are more likely to trade a woman in, or "Trade her up" for the next sexy thing.

 

I am also very competitive. I don't like really successful and wealthy men because I like to be the one in power. I don't want someone thinking they can control me or tell me what to do just because they have some money. I think men with money and too much ambition are dangerous. I don't like being submissive to the man or having him being the breadwinner, it's a blow to my ego.

[bozwa]

Okay, we all have standards. I DO have prerequisites, ya know? We all do. One of you mentioned the guy with no car, no job, etc. No, I personally couldn't date someone seriously like that. I don't care if he has a crappy car, but he's gotta have a car. I'm not a limo service. He doesn't have to be CEO of a company, but, yes, he's gotta be making some $$, at least enough to support HIS life.

 

But when it comes down to how much $$ he makes or what kind of car he drives? Please, I could care less. I'm not that superficial.

[stillafool]

 

i mean what would her parents think, her close friends think-ah why you dating Jeff -he has no car, he has no education, he just works in a call centre. "i think you can do a lot better". i mean why would a decent univ educated, good paid job professional girl making 60k or up and more want to be with has a decent nice new car rsx, TL, and new want to date a guy who has community college schoooling for 1 year, making like what a entry level tech support would make approx 25k-30k or even less, buses everywhere

 

Do you feel the same way about a professional man with a non professional girl with no education, no car and working at a call center?

 

my buddie had no car and he buses everywhere. he can get a car, but chooses not to since he like to keep his expenses down.he also doesn;t make a lot of money either, might go back to school so he doesn;t buy a car. and he had girls make a big deal as to why he has no car, and when he was goin to get a car. he buses out to her area and location to hang out with her(40 min bus ride). we live in vancouver and transit is pretty good.

 

I would guess your friend is "hot" and the girls can't resist him. I really don't think he should hang out with you anymore because it's clear you are jealous of him. If he is your friend you should know his good qualities that make girls want him.

 

I agree with Cutegirl, guys who make a lot of money think they are all the "sh&t" and everyone wants them. Most of the times they are the worst in bed and their money is all the attraction. I'm glad women today are more financially powerful so they can tell these guys to go take a hike. I don't blame Cutegirl, if you have the money why not pay all the bills and have the guy you want. Afterall, men have been doing that forever. A rich man will marry a pretty girl he's sexually attracted to, he doesn't care if she doesn't have any money. Now it's the women's chance to enjoy the fruits of their labor.

[Kenyth]

The whole thinking of many men is too simplistic when it comes to relationships. I think many people GROSSLY overestimate peoples compatibility chances in dating. The ryme and reason for peoples relationship choices are too diverse to simplify into into an A+B=C equation. Not only are people's reasons diverse, and not necessarily logical. They also change constantly as life goes on. You have to find someone with similar desires and goals, in a similar age group, who also happens to have mutual sexual attraction. Throw in some baggage from past bad experiences and you've got a challenge! It's a numbers game called dating. When the current selection doesn't meet the criteria on either side, you bow out and try again. From what I can see, many people wind up having a close reationship with a dozen or more people before settling down. That doesn't even include the date's that don't make the cut.

 

The girl dating the dealer probably isn't looking for more than a cheap thrill (though she may get more than she bargained for in the end). Or maybe she has a secret attraction to criminal activity. Or maybe she's experimenting with drugs right now. Maybe he's exceptionally good looking, or maybe he can make a horse jealous. Who knows? The simple fact of the matter is, she isn't interested in you, so keep looking until you find someone who is instead of wasting time psychoanalyzing.