what do you think?

[r4836]

Well, I'm a 20yr. old college student and almost five months ago I met this really nice girl in my calculus class. The first time I met her I wasn't like head over heels for her but I did think that she looked cute. The class is small, and it meets four times a week so we have always sat next to each other and we've become pretty good friends. However, over this time I've really gotten to know her pretty well and I've even started to like her.

I have asked her out three times. The first time was back in October when we to go see a movie, check out a haunted house, and then dinner. The second time was in November when we wandered the city checking out stores and then saw a movie. And the third time was this past Sunday when we got something to eat at China town (which she loves) and then went to go see a comedy show. Each occasion we have talked for hours, and had a good time which even she has told me.

However, I don't know if she thinks that the times we've gone out were just friends hanging out or a date. I know that she likes me as a friend and is comfortable being around me, but I just don't know. Therefore, I've been wanting to tell her that I like her, but I'm afraid that it will ruin the friendship and that's something that I definitely don't want to happen because I really do value her as a friend. Anyways, I've for the most part decided to do it because I don't want to think about "what if?" later in life and regret not doing it.

In fact, I was going to tell her this past Sunday when we went out but I chickened out. So I want to tell her this Friday perhaps over some coffee or something but I'm just not sure if I'm doing the right thing. What do you think? (by the way, we're both math majors so we will be seeing a lot of each other since we both have to take many of the same classes.)

Edited January 17, 2008 by r4836

[Mary3]

Make your move fast. Make it romantic . Make it a kiss.

 

If you wait too long she will see you only as a *buddy pal* and then one day she will find a guy she is romantically interested in....

[ElvenPriestess]

If you wait too long she will see you only as a *buddy pal* and then one day she will find a guy she is romantically interested in....

 

Very true words right here. If you wait this is EXACTLY what it will be. You gotta make a move before some one else has the chance to and you lose your opportunity.

[Always Wrong]

Comon sense tells me to listen to the ladies, Mary3 and ElvenPriestess... they're pretty smart cookies.

 

On the other hand, if she has to stop a physical advance, nomatter how sweet and innocent the intent was, the relationship will be strained a bit afterward.

 

However, if the sweet and innocent move is in the form of a question, at the appropriate time, at the end of a date, something like,"Would you have me arrested if I stole a kiss?", then you would be giving her the opportunity to "allow" the action, or not. If it works... enough said!

 

If not, then you respond with, "Whew! That was a close one! I hope I didn't offend you." Gentle, sweet, not sarcastic. And your friendship goes unscathed, with the definate result of you having planted the idea in her head! Maybe she'll sleep on it, and give you an answer in the mornin! Meatloaf...Bat outa Hell

 

It's just a thought. Maybe a good one for you, maybe not. It's like telling a joke... it's all in the delivery!

Edited January 17, 2008 by Always Wrong

[ElvenPriestess]

What a great idea AW, I love it. Then the awkwardness and possible ruination is eliminated. Very clever. Make the move with out dedicating to making the move. Beautiful.

[Mary3]

I agree too with AW

 

I think its tough for a man when he doesn't know if he should move in for the Kiss. I would say hold her gaze, if she keeps it, slowly move your face closer and try for a gentle kiss. If she pulls away or tenses up , she's either not ready or not interested.