jules_sugar Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica][sIZE=2][COLOR=black] My husband left 7 months ago, as we had some issues that have been going for years. I didnt want him to leave and suggested we go to a counsellor to fix it. He left anyway and i decided that i needed to be strong for our kids. Infact i have been happier on my own with the children since then as i realised how miserable he made me. He is now living away is a small bedsit and is a student. When he wanted to visit the children (which was not often) i allowed him to stay over as he lived far away. I helped and accomdated him whenever i could and he never returned the respect and has made things difficult for me to move on. Telling me he is lonely and depressed and blaming me for being strong...he wont except that he chose to leave. The last time he visited i checked his mobile (wrong i know but i had my doubts) And i found out he is in a relationship with another student. The messages were very intimate and suggested they are in love and have been sharing their room. Now i feel crushed....I cant sleep or eat and the messages go round and round in my head....i visualise things i shouldnt. He was never romantic with me and i feel worthless. I was upset with the deceit that he let me believe he was lonely and depressed and that he was only away to "assess the situation" Suddenly all my strengh has gone and i want to talk with him, and hug him. I feel like i need him to comfort me when i should be angry with him? I keep thinking of the things I should have done to save the relationship. But rationally i know i tried really hard and that he never treated me well. Whats going on with me? I feel like i am going insane? jules AT[/COLOR][/sIZE][/FONT][/FONT] Link to post Share on other sites
stbx2007 Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 No. You just need to get some support from some friends or a counselor. Try to remember how you felt after he left. You were doing fine. Get angry with him for being dishonest if you want to. He is being dishonest. Don't be kind anymore. Take care of yourself and your kids. File for divorce and get whatever you can. Link to post Share on other sites
LostHusband Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 Its something about when you see really hurtful things like those messages that you feel like you need him to comfort you and hug you to make you feel better. It feels better for a little while when you get that comfort - but once he lets go you will go right back to feeling bad again. Looking at phone texts does nothing but bring pain I have found out, so that has to stop. I did that for awhile with my wife's phone and it led to all kinds of hell in my heart. Each time I saw she was texting some other guy I was so angry, but all I wanted to do was be close to her and have her hold me, etc. I don't check her phone anymore, in fact I told her to change her keylock password since I knew her last one. I just try to put it out of my mind and don't let any paranoia grab ahold of me. Link to post Share on other sites
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