I need advice Help

[Laura]

I have been with a man for 3 years. Before him I was pretty uncontrolable. About three months into our relationship we moved on together. I was 18 and he was 20. We were both beginning college and his mother had offered to pay our bills untill we could get into the swing of school. Well he quit after a quarter and I gota job because I couldn't take the idea of her paying when he wasn't going to school. Don't get me wrong I love his mother. Actually she has become a treasured friend. Anyway I was holding down a part time job and full time student and he wasn't doing anything. I couldn't take it very long. After two quarters I dropped out of school. This set the stage for our relationship.

 

For the past two years it has been really hard. He hasn't worked much at all. We have had to live with his or my parents much of the time. The times we have had our own place he would work for awhile then quit. I could only pay the bills by myself for a short time. Then we would lose our place. I don'tclaim to be a saint but he has made this relationship very hard for me.

 

Do you wonder why i've stayed? Well as far as love, he has he has been wonderful. He waits on me hand and foot, and I know he adores me. He is completely faithful. I know the lengths he would go to for me. Unfortunately, it has not consisted of holding a job.

 

He is now working and seems to be getting his s**t straight. The problem is that I'm not sure of i'm willing to wait around. I have built a lot of resentment, and I don't know if I can let that go. My feelings for him have changed, and i'm not sure if I can regain them.

 

Thank You for reading this. I know it is kind of long. I had a lot to say. Please help me.

[Roxanne]

you seem like you already have your mind made up. the only thing you need to now is act on it. if you truly love this man you will try and work it out. try talking to him and tell him what i just read. maybe he will change is act. don't just walk away with out being totally sure that it is over because in the long run you may regret it.

 

roxanne

I have been with a man for 3 years. Before him I was pretty uncontrolable. About three months into our relationship we moved on together. I was 18 and he was 20. We were both beginning college and his mother had offered to pay our bills untill we could get into the swing of school. Well he quit after a quarter and I gota job because I couldn't take the idea of her paying when he wasn't going to school. Don't get me wrong I love his mother. Actually she has become a treasured friend. Anyway I was holding down a part time job and full time student and he wasn't doing anything. I couldn't take it very long. After two quarters I dropped out of school. This set the stage for our relationship. For the past two years it has been really hard. He hasn't worked much at all. We have had to live with his or my parents much of the time. The times we have had our own place he would work for awhile then quit. I could only pay the bills by myself for a short time. Then we would lose our place. I don'tclaim to be a saint but he has made this relationship very hard for me. Do you wonder why i've stayed? Well as far as love, he has he has been wonderful. He waits on me hand and foot, and I know he adores me. He is completely faithful. I know the lengths he would go to for me. Unfortunately, it has not consisted of holding a job. He is now working and seems to be getting his s**t straight. The problem is that I'm not sure of i'm willing to wait around. I have built a lot of resentment, and I don't know if I can let that go. My feelings for him have changed, and i'm not sure if I can regain them. Thank You for reading this. I know it is kind of long. I had a lot to say. Please help me.

[Shirley]

I have been with a man for 3 years. Before him I was pretty uncontrolable. About three months into our relationship we moved on together. I was 18 and he was 20. We were both beginning college and his mother had offered to pay our bills untill we could get into the swing of school. Well he quit after a quarter and I gota job because I couldn't take the idea of her paying when he wasn't going to school. Don't get me wrong I love his mother. Actually she has become a treasured friend. Anyway I was holding down a part time job and full time student and he wasn't doing anything. I couldn't take it very long. After two quarters I dropped out of school. This set the stage for our relationship. For the past two years it has been really hard. He hasn't worked much at all. We have had to live with his or my parents much of the time. The times we have had our own place he would work for awhile then quit. I could only pay the bills by myself for a short time. Then we would lose our place. I don'tclaim to be a saint but he has made this relationship very hard for me. Do you wonder why i've stayed? Well as far as love, he has he has been wonderful. He waits on me hand and foot, and I know he adores me. He is completely faithful. I know the lengths he would go to for me. Unfortunately, it has not consisted of holding a job. He is now working and seems to be getting his s**t straight. The problem is that I'm not sure of i'm willing to wait around. I have built a lot of resentment, and I don't know if I can let that go. My feelings for him have changed, and i'm not sure if I can regain them. Thank You for reading this. I know it is kind of long. I had a lot to say. Please help me.

Hi!

 

I really don't understand what you mean by waiting around. Are you waiting for your feelings to change back? Feelings of love don't change. I think you're trying to define your love by how well you like what he's doing, rather than how you feel about him as a person. If you don't love him for who he is, then you don't love him.