FindingMyselfAgain Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 We went out for 14 months, planned to be married.I kept relapsing on drugs / alcohol, but I was trying to get clean and sober -- even entered a halfway house voluntarily.She left me for the father of her child, a five-time convicted felon with a string of domestic violence charges because he could quote the Bible and she went hyperreligious on me. This guy has an active addiction to crack.We've been broken up for 3 months now, he moved in from Florida, and she's been in light contact via email and phone. It's given me hope we can get together again....UNTIL one day she let me know that she's been using dope with him for 6 weeks. She never had before! She's a 42-year-old girl scout mom with a 13 year old daughter! She's even been missing work!The guy's been diagnosed recently as bipolar. She was with a clinical schizophrenic before me (for about a month). I've got a little bit of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder myself. She sure likes her crazy guys!She's been entering adult websites to look for lesbian encounters. I was okay with that side of her....However, now I'm not sure we can ever be together. She's a stone-cold addict now, after 6 weeks of hard using.She is physically gorgeous and I am only kinda average looking (although I have a great body and I'm sweet and make money). But I'm still not so sure I will ever find a pretty, sexual girl again. She wasn't sane -- clearly -- so I must have painted an image of a woman on her and fell in love with the image.WHEN -- not if -- she tries to come back (because this thing they have CANNOT work), should I try again? Can I do better? More importantly, will she be able to see the example of recovery that I am setting? Will my reaching out to her to see if I can share recovery with her be helpful or not? How the **** does someone pick up a crack habit at 42??? A mother, and a Girl Scout Mom who has a house and a (rapidly-in-jeopardy) job?
blind_otter Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 Addiction knows no boundaries. If you're still in recovery yourself it would be very dangerous to associate with this woman. AFAIK, you're supposed to stay single for a year or more when you are trying to beat your addiction.
Author FindingMyselfAgain Posted January 18, 2008 Author Posted January 18, 2008 Addiction knows no boundaries. If you're still in recovery yourself it would be very dangerous to associate with this woman. AFAIK, you're supposed to stay single for a year or more when you are trying to beat your addiction. Roger that. I'm not playing with this woman -- she changed into The Enemy. She will be reduced to Crack Ho status by the end of the year, and right now she's in Crack Head status -- making her much too dangerous to associate with! If -- no, WHEN -- she calls, I will offer her a number to a WOMAN in Narcotics Anonymous and suggest she call that person.
blind_otter Posted January 18, 2008 Posted January 18, 2008 If -- no, WHEN -- she calls, I will offer her a number to a WOMAN in Narcotics Anonymous and suggest she call that person. Good move. When I met my SO we were both using (cocaine, mainly) - but we decided to quit together. I have never looked back and have no desire to use ever again....but my SO slipped up and did coke on new year's eve...
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