Can't find Ms. Right

[Boost79]

Grab some popcorn and soda, this might be long.

 

My situation is sort of different, or at least I haven't met other guys in the same situation.

 

I'm 28, been dating on and off but never had a serious g/f. When I run into women I'm interested in, it usually ends up in one of the following ways:

 

1. I date them once or twice, call back and never hear from them.

 

2. I get their #, call, and either don't get an answer or they call back once or twice and that's it. Poof, they disappear.

 

 

Background: I'm Israeli. (please save the political stuff to another forum, because I don't want to get into that)

 

 

I was born and raised in Israel until I was 15, then moved here. If you visited Israel or know anything about the culture it's very different over there. People are a lot pushier, things move very fast, our survival instincts are working 24/7/365 and we don't give up very quickly.

 

I managed to tame some of my natural born traits, however I don't think they are tamed close enough for US Standard. I'm just not a passive person, never have and never will be.

 

All this makes things very difficult for me in the local dating scene.

 

First of, I have issues with when to call after I get a woman's #. I don't seem to care for any rules about 2 days or 3 days or 5 days. The last girl I met, I called 5 hours after I met her. (she actually called back so far, well, in the beginning, now she "disappeared" as well)

 

Then there is that whole thing with voicemails. I don't know if it's because I'm a Leo, but I hate being ignored and I usually retaliate back. When people call me, I answer, not sure why it doesn't work both ways.

 

So I find myself investing a lot of time in women that I meet because I'm interested (not desperate, no, I have a career and my hobbies and my cars) but I get disappointed that I don't get the same response back. (all I get is voicemail, I'm busy, bla bla bla)

 

The bottom line is that I'm now 28, and people still tell me I got time, but I'm getting tired of being alone on the weekends.

 

help...

[Green]

Why dont you just go to temple and have them set you up with some jewish girl. If you have some friends who are good at dating you should probably ask them for advice.

[Sw3etdev1L]

look I'm jewish!!! I believe a shiddaj would be ok!!!...you know a blind date from community you know...and if that doesn't work well, don't worry maybe it is just not time now...just wait..why be mortified if you are not going to control anything, just chill!!!!..maybe you are scaring them because they see you very urged

[Ocean-Blue]

Grab some popcorn and soda, this might be long.

 

My situation is sort of different, or at least I haven't met other guys in the same situation.

 

I'm 28, been dating on and off but never had a serious g/f. When I run into women I'm interested in, it usually ends up in one of the following ways:

 

1. I date them once or twice, call back and never hear from them.

 

2. I get their #, call, and either don't get an answer or they call back once or twice and that's it. Poof, they disappear.

 

 

Background: I'm Israeli. (please save the political stuff to another forum, because I don't want to get into that)

 

 

I was born and raised in Israel until I was 15, then moved here. If you visited Israel or know anything about the culture it's very different over there. People are a lot pushier, things move very fast, our survival instincts are working 24/7/365 and we don't give up very quickly.

 

I managed to tame some of my natural born traits, however I don't think they are tamed close enough for US Standard. I'm just not a passive person, never have and never will be.

 

All this makes things very difficult for me in the local dating scene.

 

First of, I have issues with when to call after I get a woman's #. I don't seem to care for any rules about 2 days or 3 days or 5 days. The last girl I met, I called 5 hours after I met her. (she actually called back so far, well, in the beginning, now she "disappeared" as well)

 

Then there is that whole thing with voicemails. I don't know if it's because I'm a Leo, but I hate being ignored and I usually retaliate back. When people call me, I answer, not sure why it doesn't work both ways.

 

So I find myself investing a lot of time in women that I meet because I'm interested (not desperate, no, I have a career and my hobbies and my cars) but I get disappointed that I don't get the same response back. (all I get is voicemail, I'm busy, bla bla bla)

 

The bottom line is that I'm now 28, and people still tell me I got time, but I'm getting tired of being alone on the weekends.

 

help...

 

Considering that you moved when you were 15 to the West, your core personality, social skills, etc. (the nuances and tid bits that make you you) are more or less set. No matter how hard you try to change or conform, the core will remain the same. I say this because I have friends who grew up in a different cultural setting...ones who usually don't end up "conforming" or assimilating. It's a fact of life (or at least this has been my experience).

 

You need a partner/date who is on the same wavelength as you. Sure you can pick up a few cues here and there and behave in kind...but at the end of the day, you'll only be repressing your inner self for the sake of propriety. I really think you should pursue women who are on the same page as you (this may be women who may share a similar background or ones that are "like you" for whatever reason).

 

Does this make sense? What I'm saying is that you shouldn't try to change who you are. Find a girl woh thinks it's cool that you call 5 hours after getting her number...one who returns your calls and one who is as excited to be with you as you are to be with her.

 

It's all about coming to terms with reality and making it so that it suits you and your needs.

[Boost79]

..just wait..why be mortified if you are not going to control anything, just chill!!!!..maybe you are scaring them because they see you very urged

 

I've been waiting for 28 years. My whole 20's are pretty much gone and nothing changed. How long do you think one can wait?

[Boost79]

Considering that you moved when you were 15 to the West, your core personality, social skills, etc. (the nuances and tid bits that make you you) are more or less set. No matter how hard you try to change or conform, the core will remain the same. I say this because I have friends who grew up in a different cultural setting...ones who usually don't end up "conforming" or assimilating. It's a fact of life (or at least this has been my experience).

 

You need a partner/date who is on the same wavelength as you. Sure you can pick up a few cues here and there and behave in kind...but at the end of the day, you'll only be repressing your inner self for the sake of propriety. I really think you should pursue women who are on the same page as you (this may be women who may share a similar background or ones that are "like you" for whatever reason).

 

Does this make sense? What I'm saying is that you shouldn't try to change who you are. Find a girl woh thinks it's cool that you call 5 hours after getting her number...one who returns your calls and one who is as excited to be with you as you are to be with her.

 

It's all about coming to terms with reality and making it so that it suits you and your needs.

 

It makes perfect sense. I know I will not change, just as my father never changed.

[lindya]

It makes perfect sense. I know I will not change, just as my father never changed.

 

I think that accepting the type of basic temperament and values you have is a great thing in many ways. Knowing who you are helps you towards the right people and situations for you, but regarding yourself as someone who is incapable of adapting to different situations is pretty limiting.

 

Your basic temperament and values needn't change, but you can certainly adapt certain aspects of your behaviour in order to manage situations that are somewhat alien to your way of thinking. Let your temperament and upbringing guide you, but don't be their prisoner.

[Green]

I think that accepting the type of basic temperament and values you have is a great thing in many ways. Knowing who you are helps you towards the right people and situations for you, but regarding yourself as someone who is incapable of adapting to different situations is pretty limiting.

 

Your basic temperament and values needn't change, but you can certainly adapt certain aspects of your behaviour in order to manage situations that are somewhat alien to your way of thinking. Let your temperament and upbringing guide you, but don't be their prisoner.

 

yeah but I think many people who move here from other countries can get gf's. If I went to His country I gaurantee I could be dating some one in a month if I wanted to. I bet this guy does not have many friends, or a social group in his life. he needs some people who can help him out in person. And he needs to get other areas of his life in focus

[Boost79]

yeah but I think many people who move here from other countries can get gf's. If I went to His country I gaurantee I could be dating some one in a month if I wanted to. I bet this guy does not have many friends, or a social group in his life. he needs some people who can help him out in person. And he needs to get other areas of his life in focus

 

 

1. You will not be dating someone in a month in Israel, I was born and raised there. There are some major differences in culture, language and mentality.

 

What do you mean other areas of my life in focus? What else is there to focus on??????

 

People who can help me out in person? And what will these people tell me that I haven't heard yet......

 

I was hoping to meet someone who can answer the phone when I call and who is interested in going out. My impression is that my requirements are such a big deal to American women, they need to have dinner with their parents and talk about before it happens, by that time I'm already gone. It actually makes me laugh when I think about it.

 

As far as friends, I learned that in America, people only become your friends if they need something. I have 1 really great friend, he's the only exception I found. I had many "friends" before and they disappeared really fast. It all depends on your definition of a friend.

Edited January 19, 2008 by Boost79

[Green]

1. You will not be dating someone in a month in Israel, I was born and raised there. There are some major differences in culture, language and mentality.

 

What do you mean other areas of my life in focus? What else is there to focus on??????

 

People who can help me out in person? And what will these people tell me that I haven't heard yet......

 

I was hoping to meet someone who can answer the phone when I call and who is interested in going out. My impression is that my requirements are such a big deal to American women, they need to have dinner with their parents and talk about before it happens, by that time I'm already gone. It actually makes me laugh when I think about it.

 

As far as friends, I learned that in America, people only become your friends if they need something. I have 1 really great friend, he's the only exception I found. I had many "friends" before and they disappeared really fast. It all depends on your definition of a friend.

 

Yes I gaurantee I could have a gf in around one month, make it two if you really feel thats imposible. My point was you shouldn't use being from another country as an excuse. Theres a magical trick to getting woman and it involves not being so focused on getting them. Now you should have other dreams in your life, like maybe having a good circle of friends, Achieving your career goals, stuff like that. Make sure your on a good track to achieving those things and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Tell me do you have good friends? Are you happy with the career path your on? No one on here is going to be able to help you more then the advice just given, other then that you need some people in the real world to help you out. Just relize that your aproaching this thing with to much negativity like a failure... you need to have fun doing it, if you want them to have fun being with you.

[Boost79]

Yes I gaurantee I could have a gf in around one month, make it two if you really feel thats imposible. My point was you shouldn't use being from another country as an excuse. Theres a magical trick to getting woman and it involves not being so focused on getting them. Now you should have other dreams in your life, like maybe having a good circle of friends, Achieving your career goals, stuff like that. Make sure your on a good track to achieving those things and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Tell me do you have good friends? Are you happy with the career path your on? No one on here is going to be able to help you more then the advice just given, other then that you need some people in the real world to help you out. Just relize that your aproaching this thing with to much negativity like a failure... you need to have fun doing it, if you want them to have fun being with you.

 

I don't have any "dreams" at the moment, maybe buy a house when the market falls flat on its face, but I can't do it by myself, especially not in CA.

 

Well buddy, I have fun when I drive my modified car. That's my type of fun.

 

Finding the right girl isn't even remotely close to fun for me. It is a pain in the rear and I hope its over soon.

 

Going through the same bs time after time, how can you even call this fun???

 

I only achieve what I want when I stay focused on it, I don't drift through life just sitting there waiting for things to happen, women included.

 

I guess I will either find what I'm looking for or I will not, but I can't conform to your advice, because it contradicts how I do things.

 

Thanks anyways.

[Lucasarts]

you're a Leo huh? me too! Awesome. Sorry, I just think its cool to talk to people who are the same sign as me (Proud, confident, aggressive, a leader, romantic, great lover, etc) so I can sort of understand your way of thinking. However, I think the problem here is that you are being too aggressive with the dating situation. Your mentality with how to approach girls and date them is being affected by your overbearing urge/need to be with them. It is important to find the right girl and to figure out if she's really interested in you and if you are really interested in her as well. You're making good headway though considering you can at least get some numbers and they call back.

 

I'll list out some problems that I'm seeing with your approach/attitude:

 

1. Calling a girl 5 hours after meeting her isn't the greatest way to start a relationship. This symbolizes that you're in desperate need of their attention. (keyword: NEEDY) Unless the girl is a constant attention-whore, she's not going to be looking forward to what you'll be begging from her if she goes out with you. I'd suggest waiting AT LEAST 24 hours. Then you will know if the girl is seriously interested in you (or was when you met her) or if it was the alcohol coursing through her veins. If she doesn't even remember you, forget it.

 

2. So you go out on a couple of dates and then never hear back? Usually thats an indicator of your personality just not being attractive enough to keep a girl interested in you. I have to ask, what do you do when you go out with a girl? Providing any info on this will help me to know what it is you're doing to drive them away.

 

3. Why so angry about voicemails? Most girls that first meet a guy WILL NOT answer their phones (well in my experience, I'm always expecting the machine to talk to me b4 the girl does). They like that someone called and left them a message, it makes them feel important (thats just what i think they think). I too always answer the phone when someone calls (WHEN I CAN, I'M A BUSY GUY TOO IN THIS BUSY WORLD!) but I'm far from perfect about it. You're expecting too much from everyone if you think that everyone should drop everything just to answer your phone call (plus that means you need to stop thinking of yourself as being superior, its easier to live a life of being an equal to someone). Plus a voicemail message indicates to the girl that, even though you didn't pick up, I want to make sure that you know I called. Again, emphasis is on her. If she responds, well thats good, if not, then forget her.

 

4. Don't expect so much from people. That right there is something that you can change. It's not attractive to anyone when someone feels that they are above you. Reading your posts you resonate this really strongly (meaning that your very passionate about how you feel, which is a good thing, when displayed appropriately), so I have to assume that this carries on to your personal life and to those around you. Women are very good at picking up the "aura" of someone they are with, and they aren't going to be googily-eyed over an ******* on the first date (there are some exceptions of course). Learn to transform your God complex into something more positive and neutral. Just be confident about who you are and accept that people are not always going to be performing to your standards. (I had this problem early in high school, which made me come off as a huge prick and a loner. I changed this behavior and accepted people for being the imperfect yet still beautiful human beings they are, and I found a new and happier life blossom for me from then to now).

 

5. Your lack of friends... Tell me your definition of a friend. From what I gather it is like this:

 

Someone who doesn't need you for anything, doesn't share anything with you, doesn't ask anything of you, and refuses to help in any way when you are in need yourself (But then again, he wouldn't be your friend because he's the mirror image of yourself).

 

Heres MY definition of a friend:

 

Someone who does need you when times are desperate, someone who has your back, someone who helps you at times that you need it most, and the times when you're too afraid or too proud to ask; a friend is someone who can keep a secret, be loyal to your requests, and respect you as a human being. A friend is someone who is everything you want in a friend and more.

 

6. Stop believing that because you're from a different country that it means you're not going to be accepted for who you are. Because if you feel that way, then yeah the way you carry yourself will only help to make the notion come true. You don't need to adjust to American customs, girls like a man who can show them a life that is so different from theirs, its almost an advantage because you're different. It separates you from the rest of the pack when you can show a girl a custom she's never experienced or known too much about. You become unique, special; why do girls fantasize about going to another country and being swooned by some foreign guy?

 

And honestly, I can't really give you credit or pity you because of your moving to America at age 15. Most kids that age couldn't get a girl in their life, unless they played sports. You've had more than enough time to really learn and adjust to the rigors of "American" dating; You have the personality and aggression to really be utilized to your advantage...but I think right now its what is keeping you from knowing the soft touch of a woman.

[Boost79]

 

I'll list out some problems that I'm seeing with your approach/attitude:

 

1. Calling a girl 5 hours after meeting her isn't the greatest way to start a relationship. This symbolizes that you're in desperate need of their attention.

 

2. So you go out on a couple of dates and then never hear back? Usually thats an indicator of your personality just not being attractive enough to keep a girl interested in you. I have to ask, what do you do when you go out with a girl? Providing any info on this will help me to know what it is you're doing to drive them away.

 

3. Why so angry about voicemails? Most girls that first meet a guy WILL NOT answer their phones (well in my experience, I'm always expecting the machine to talk to me b4 the girl does). They like that someone called and left them a message, it makes them feel important (thats just what i think they think). I too always answer the phone when someone calls (WHEN I CAN, I'M A BUSY GUY TOO IN THIS BUSY WORLD!) but I'm far from perfect about it. You're expecting too much from everyone if you think that everyone should drop everything just to answer your phone call (plus that means you need to stop thinking of yourself as being superior, its easier to live a life of being an equal to someone). Plus a voicemail message indicates to the girl that, even though you didn't pick up, I want to make sure that you know I called. Again, emphasis is on her. If she responds, well thats good, if not, then forget her.

 

4. Don't expect so much from people. That right there is something that you can change. It's not attractive to anyone when someone feels that they are above you. Reading your posts you resonate this really strongly (meaning that your very passionate about how you feel, which is a good thing, when displayed appropriately), so I have to assume that this carries on to your personal life and to those around you. Women are very good at picking up the "aura" of someone they are with, and they aren't going to be googily-eyed over an ******* on the first date (there are some exceptions of course). Learn to transform your God complex into something more positive and neutral. Just be confident about who you are and accept that people are not always going to be performing to your standards. (I had this problem early in high school, which made me come off as a huge prick and a loner. I changed this behavior and accepted people for being the imperfect yet still beautiful human beings they are, and I found a new and happier life blossom for me from then to now).

 

5. Your lack of friends... Tell me your definition of a friend. From what I gather it is like this:

 

Someone who doesn't need you for anything, doesn't share anything with you, doesn't ask anything of you, and refuses to help in any way when you are in need yourself (But then again, he wouldn't be your friend because he's the mirror image of yourself).

 

Heres MY definition of a friend:

 

Someone who does need you when times are desperate, someone who has your back, someone who helps you at times that you need it most, and the times when you're too afraid or too proud to ask; a friend is someone who can keep a secret, be loyal to your requests, and respect you as a human being. A friend is someone who is everything you want in a friend and more.

 

6. Stop believing that because you're from a different country that it means you're not going to be accepted for who you are. Because if you feel that way, then yeah the way you carry yourself will only help to make the notion come true. You don't need to adjust to American customs, girls like a man who can show them a life that is so different from theirs, its almost an advantage because you're different. It separates you from the rest of the pack when you can show a girl a custom she's never experienced or known too much about. You become unique, special; why do girls fantasize about going to another country and being swooned by some foreign guy?

 

And honestly, I can't really give you credit or pity you because of your moving to America at age 15. Most kids that age couldn't get a girl in their life, unless they played sports. You've had more than enough time to really learn and adjust to the rigors of "American" dating; You have the personality and aggression to really be utilized to your advantage...but I think right now its what is keeping you from knowing the soft touch of a woman.

 

1. Why, because society decided so??? Is it written somewhere? A law????

She called the day afterwards anyways, so I don't think she had a problem with that. If she kept up with it, we would probably have had a date by now, but she has proven to be just like the last 200 girls I met before.

 

2. Talk about them and myself........I don't get on the table and start dancing if that's what you mean. The last girl seemed she had fun. Then I called her and she sounded like a broken telegram or something, so I got the hint and never bothered to call her again.

 

3. Do you enjoy talking to machines? I personally don't. I hate talking to machines, and recordings, etc. Plus, why would someone have a phone if they aren't going to answer it??? Me and my father are best friends. He lives 1000 miles from me (which makes things even harder), when he calls, I'm there for him, day or night, rain or shine. We have high stress on family values and being there for each other. That's what I want from a woman, but as mentioned before, the phone is starting to become some sort of a game, instead of being used for what it was intended to: TALKING TO PEOPLE.

 

4. Oh I don't expect anything from anyone anymore, that's long gone.

 

5. I have one friend like that. Most of the people I met here in 14 years were total garbage, and like my father says, "with friends like that, you don't need enemies".

 

6. Point taken, but most girls are too shallow to even reach that point.

 

You don't have to give me any credit, I already got plenty of it from people who know what it is like to move here, so I don't expect any credit from you.

 

And no, I didn't have time to learn about the "American Dating customs". People don't come here to learn about dating, people come here to be able to obtain the kind of life they couldn't obtain back in their homeland.

[Lucasarts]

wow.

 

You really need to lighten up. No wonder no girl wants to be with you. I'm surprised that you even asked for advice; as a matter of fact, ask your only friend in your life to help you out. I'm sure he knows what to do about your situation. Also ask him to educate you further on the DIFFERENCES BETWEEN ISRAEL AND AMERICAN CULTURE. YOU MOVED HERE BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO "OBTAIN A BETTER LIFE," BUT APPARENTLY YOU FAILED TO OBTAIN A BETTER ATTITUDE TOWARDS LIFE AND OTHER PEOPLE. IF YOU REALLY HATE THE DATING CUSTOMS HERE, THEN WHY NOT GO BACK TO ISRAEL AND GET YOURSELF A GIRL? YOU 'RE OLD ENOUGH TO TRAVEL BACK THERE ALONE. IF YOU REALLY CRAVE A WOMAN SO BADLY, JUST GET YOURSELF A HOOKER. THERES SOME GOOD SUGGESTIONS FOR YOU CONSIDERING ANY REASONABLE OR HELPFUL ADVICE ISN'T GOING TO CHANGE YOUR NARROW MINDED THINKING.

[Ocean-Blue]

1. Why, because society decided so??? Is it written somewhere? A law????

She called the day afterwards anyways, so I don't think she had a problem with that. If she kept up with it, we would probably have had a date by now, but she has proven to be just like the last 200 girls I met before.

 

2. Talk about them and myself........I don't get on the table and start dancing if that's what you mean. The last girl seemed she had fun. Then I called her and she sounded like a broken telegram or something, so I got the hint and never bothered to call her again.

 

3. Do you enjoy talking to machines? I personally don't. I hate talking to machines, and recordings, etc. Plus, why would someone have a phone if they aren't going to answer it??? Me and my father are best friends. He lives 1000 miles from me (which makes things even harder), when he calls, I'm there for him, day or night, rain or shine. We have high stress on family values and being there for each other. That's what I want from a woman, but as mentioned before, the phone is starting to become some sort of a game, instead of being used for what it was intended to: TALKING TO PEOPLE.

 

4. Oh I don't expect anything from anyone anymore, that's long gone.

 

5. I have one friend like that. Most of the people I met here in 14 years were total garbage, and like my father says, "with friends like that, you don't need enemies".

 

6. Point taken, but most girls are too shallow to even reach that point.

 

You don't have to give me any credit, I already got plenty of it from people who know what it is like to move here, so I don't expect any credit from you.

 

And no, I didn't have time to learn about the "American Dating customs". People don't come here to learn about dating, people come here to be able to obtain the kind of life they couldn't obtain back in their homeland.

 

I can understand the frustration you are experiencing as a result of the culture clash...BUT you need to relax just a bit. As I stated in my previous post, you cannot change who you are at the core. Your sensibilities and likes and dislikes were decided in your formative years – you cannot change the basics. All you can do is try to learn from this new cultural surrounding and adapt to the best of your ability.

 

The great thing about the West is that there are many different types of people with various cultural backgrounds. You are likely to even find American women (those who were raised in the US) who share your sentiments about dating…but it takes patience and an open mind on your part to find such a person.

 

Normally I wouldn’t say anything, but I can’t help myself here… The other poster was trying to provide you with some insight into American dating culture. They spent a great deal of time typing that out and posting for your benefit. Rather than be gracious, you decided to be snide and tell the poster you did not need any credit from them and more or less sneer in the face of some thought out advice. Doesn't that strike you as rude and ungrateful - regardless of your cultural background?

 

You have to change your approach OP. This negative attitude can be felt by the women you meet (if not right away, they do eventually) – and let me tell you, most will run at the sight of it.

Edited January 21, 2008 by Ocean-Blue

[Curmudgeon]

1. Why, because society decided so??? Is it written somewhere? A law????

She called the day afterwards anyways, so I don't think she had a problem with that. If she kept up with it, we would probably have had a date by now, but she has proven to be just like the last 200 girls I met before.

 

2. Talk about them and myself........I don't get on the table and start dancing if that's what you mean. The last girl seemed she had fun. Then I called her and she sounded like a broken telegram or something, so I got the hint and never bothered to call her again.

 

3. Do you enjoy talking to machines? I personally don't. I hate talking to machines, and recordings, etc. Plus, why would someone have a phone if they aren't going to answer it??? Me and my father are best friends. He lives 1000 miles from me (which makes things even harder), when he calls, I'm there for him, day or night, rain or shine. We have high stress on family values and being there for each other. That's what I want from a woman, but as mentioned before, the phone is starting to become some sort of a game, instead of being used for what it was intended to: TALKING TO PEOPLE.

 

4. Oh I don't expect anything from anyone anymore, that's long gone.

 

5. I have one friend like that. Most of the people I met here in 14 years were total garbage, and like my father says, "with friends like that, you don't need enemies".

 

6. Point taken, but most girls are too shallow to even reach that point.

 

You don't have to give me any credit, I already got plenty of it from people who know what it is like to move here, so I don't expect any credit from you.

 

And no, I didn't have time to learn about the "American Dating customs". People don't come here to learn about dating, people come here to be able to obtain the kind of life they couldn't obtain back in their homeland.

 

A bit full of yourself and your own righteousness, aren't you?

 

Has it occurred to you that perhaps, just maybe, our society isn't all wrong? Of course, that would require some soul-searching if it led to the conclusion that you're not all right.

 

Go lightly, young man. Intensity is fine until it becomes an obsession.

 

Does this sound reasonable? "Hi! I'm from Israel. Our way is differnt. Your way is wrong. You must like me because I am. You must also answer my calls. You must change to my way because it's just the way it is. Anything else makes you shallow!"

 

Good luck with that!

[Green]

With his current attitude he wouldnt be able to get a woman in Israel

[THE THRONE]

The OP said:

 

And no, I didn't have time to learn about the "American Dating customs".

 

 

Poor soul...you need to learn the doctrine of the Seven-Legged Lamb. If you don't learn it, you need to learn about American dating customs/culture as soon as possible.

 

BTW, I didn't read all of the posts but where are you located?

[Phateless]

Just wanted to chime in and say I can relate. It's a pain to meet all these people and not find someone you like well enough to be in a relationship with. Just hang in there.

 

My only advice is this: Einstein's definition of insanity - doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

 

If you want things to turn out differently, it's time to try different methods. Don't be so goal-fixated if you can help it. Spend more time getting to know girls before you get their phone number. Wait a day before you call.

 

Where are you meeting all your women anyway? Btw, I'm also Jewish and went on the Taglit-Birthright trip over the summer. Israel is absolutely gorgeous.

[Meanmistermustard]

OP, you are very bitter and women can sense that in men. You mentioned earlier something to the effect that all American women are shallow. If that's what you think then why should you even want a girlfriend?

 

In my opinion, you're coming on too strong too early. Calling a girl after 5 hours, despite the fact you may be excited to get to know her, is usually a bad idea. You won't get an instant girlfriend and it seems that's what you want. And you hate voicemails...so why are you leaving them? They'll see you called and if they're interested they'll call you back. If they don't, maybe call them again in a couple of days and then leave a message. If you don't hear back then save your time and meet someone else. No biggie!

 

Also, date multiple women at once until you find someone you like. I'm not saying sleep with all of them, but just go out and meet as many women as you can until one really grabs you! There are many types of women in the US so there's really no reason to be single if you want to be in a relationship.

 

Think positive and the rest will fall in place. Don't be so anxious!

[Boost79]

With his current attitude he wouldnt be able to get a woman in Israel

 

You got a lot to learn about Israel, so if I were you, I wouldn't even bring that up at this point.

[Boost79]

OP, you are very bitter and women can sense that in men. You mentioned earlier something to the effect that all American women are shallow. If that's what you think then why should you even want a girlfriend?

 

In my opinion, you're coming on too strong too early. Calling a girl after 5 hours, despite the fact you may be excited to get to know her, is usually a bad idea. You won't get an instant girlfriend and it seems that's what you want. And you hate voicemails...so why are you leaving them? They'll see you called and if they're interested they'll call you back. If they don't, maybe call them again in a couple of days and then leave a message. If you don't hear back then save your time and meet someone else. No biggie!

 

Also, date multiple women at once until you find someone you like. I'm not saying sleep with all of them, but just go out and meet as many women as you can until one really grabs you! There are many types of women in the US so there's really no reason to be single if you want to be in a relationship.

 

Think positive and the rest will fall in place. Don't be so anxious!

 

1. Most of them are shallow, I still have some sort of faith in the ones that are not.

 

2. I am not bitter. I just want it to work.

 

3. I didn't want an instant g/f. I just wanted to talk to her on the phone and meet her. I guess that was too much. I don't call every girl that soon, this one was different and I'm sort of spontenious with that. If I followed all these so called "rules", my life would be too boring. I decided to make things interesting and also test her a bit. She called the next day. Then I got the flu and told her I will call her later and she said ok. Then I called later and she was busy and I haven't heard back. This gets really frustrating.

 

4. I will date more than one woman at a time if I meet more. That should be happening soon, since I got a bunch of events to attend.

 

I'll try to take your last suggestion.

[Boost79]

Just wanted to chime in and say I can relate. It's a pain to meet all these people and not find someone you like well enough to be in a relationship with. Just hang in there.

 

My only advice is this: Einstein's definition of insanity - doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

 

If you want things to turn out differently, it's time to try different methods. Don't be so goal-fixated if you can help it. Spend more time getting to know girls before you get their phone number. Wait a day before you call.

 

Where are you meeting all your women anyway? Btw, I'm also Jewish and went on the Taglit-Birthright trip over the summer. Israel is absolutely gorgeous.

 

The last girl I met on the train on the way to work.

 

The one before her I was introduced to through her ex boss.

 

The one before that one I met through some speed dating event. (boy that was a waste of time)

 

On the one I met on the train, she had to go to work, how is it possible to get to know her without calling?? I called so we can chat. She said she's busy and likes to plan ahead and I'm the same way, so I was hoping we could plan something for this past weekend.

 

Israel can be fun. I don't visit that often though.

[Boost79]

A bit full of yourself and your own righteousness, aren't you?

 

Has it occurred to you that perhaps, just maybe, our society isn't all wrong? Of course, that would require some soul-searching if it led to the conclusion that you're not all right.

 

Go lightly, young man. Intensity is fine until it becomes an obsession.

 

Ok, I will slow down the pace, hopefully someone will catch up.

[Boost79]

 

BTW, I didn't read all of the posts but where are you located?

 

Does it really matter?