What do you make of this?????????????

[megame]

Hey, you may have read my first post on here about my husband and how I had decided to leave him, and had feelings for one of my male friends.

 

Well after reading some of your replies, it helped me make the decision, that I deserve better, so i told him I wanted out, he moved out and asked me if he went to get help, could he come back? I said we would see, and that I would say no, because I am finding it hard to forgive/forget what he has done in the past. But you never know what happens with time apart.

 

I also distanced myself from my male friend completely. I have also been finding it very hard, not having my husband here, even though things were not the best, I really do love him, miss him.

 

My male friend decided that I looked very down at work, so he sent me a msg, asking if I was ok, I didnt answer because my phone was on silent, so he came around, said he was very worried about me.

 

I am not a very big drinker, and this night my kids were staying at my sisters house, as she was encouraging me to go out and have a good time, but all I ended up doing was drinking myself silly at home, and watching movies.

 

When he turned up, I was full of drink and asked him if he still had feelings for me, he said yes, told me how beautiful I was and how much he would love to sleep with me, I was so silly drunk, I ended up telling him, that I find him so good looking too, and Id love to sleep with him.

 

He replied with how much he would love that, but he really cares for me, and feels that if we did sleep together, that he would want more from me, he just couldnt leave it, as he knows I have too much going on in my life and he knows I just dont need something like that at the moment. He added that when the crap settles down in my life, he will be quite happy to take me out for dinner and we can go from there.

 

I left it and we talked about work, but the next morning, I felt like a full idiot, I am not and have never been the type to just sleep with people, and couldnt really tell you why I even said that, but, I then got confused over what he ment,

 

Is he really not that interested in me? or is he one of the rare male breeds that is worth his weight in gold?

 

Im a bit confused and weary at the moment so sorry if this just seems silly.

[nicki]

Sounds like a good guy to me. If he had been interested in sex only, he could have had that and moved on.

 

*sigh* He's a good guy.

 

He wants to give you time and space to deal with what's going on. That's a good sign. Looks like he wants a relationship with you when you are ready. And he's thinking about your needs first. Again, a very good sign.

 

It's a confusing time for you. I want to applaud you for what you are doing and how you are handling things! You are acting in a healthy way.

 

Don't beat yourself up for what you said to this guy. He's the one who said it all first. You were just agreeing that you had the same feelings. He's probably elated at the thought of a chance with you down the road!

 

So, keep his as a friend until the dust settles, and then go slowly forward.

 

It's all good. And no more drinking and being alone with him until you are ready to be intimate. It's just too hard when you are emotionally vulnerable.

 

Right now, build up the friendship with him!

 

Good luck. Hugs to you. I've been where you are.

[HisLove]

Yep he sounds like a nice guy. He obviously knew you'd been drinking too..so more brownie points for him to not take advantage of that!! If anything had happened, it would have made things even more confusing because you said you do love your husband and miss him.

 

So as not to complicate matters, get yourself to a counsellor for some deep thinking. If you decide you do want to get back together with your husband, things will go much better if you don't have to explain being involved with somebody else. If you decide your marriage is over, you will know in your heart you are clear to start a new relationship with the new guy.

 

Both men will wait for you if they are genuine in their feelings. A few weeks in the grand scheme of life isn't going to harm anybody, least of all you.

[megame]

Well, I did have a talk to my male friend about the above situation,

 

And, he told me that he thinks Im too special to take advantage of, and he would wait a life time for me to be ready for him to take me out,

 

I melted on the floor, but different to ant other time I have, he gave me faith that there are good guys out there, and never to judge people,

As he is very good looking and has a very good body, and a job where females throw themselves at him, and he never seems to take advantage of that(like his co workers do)

 

He also showed me that I dont have to settle for the treatment of my husband, so my mind to be out for good is made up!

 

And I told him, that he would be the first person I would go to when I am ready, however, I am not ready for anything, I feel I have a lot to do building myself back up, before I can think of anyone else.

 

He replied with, thats fine by him, however he wont stop being worried about me and if I needed to talk he would be there, also that he wont stop perving;)

 

So thanks to everyone who helped me with my first thread and this one.

[makemyblackrosesred]

Aw cute. It almost sounds like an episode of the office. I am assuming you work in some type of office building.. but def an interesting romance. He sounds dreamy..I always picture myself ending up with a guy who's charming, italian, and who would take me away from all my troubles with males.. You're lucky..perhaps it will work out. Although, if your kids are still young watch out for them being upset about you dating anyone too soon.

[megame]

good advice about the kids, thank you.

I work in a niteclub, he is security.