MW in love with MM why is he treating me this way now??

[bentnotbroken]

cant i love both men i mean i think im just use to my husband plus im not satisfied with my husband with the MM i was satisfied i think about him all day i know i love him.

 

my husband kind of knows of the A i told him about it but later blamed it on the MM i told my husband my co-worker was harrassing me i wanted to see if the MM would fight for me i went toworktold the MM that my husband was going to call and the MM got upset he said he didnt want any trouble with his wife or her finding out so he agreed to take the blame and tell my husband that all this was him and nothing has happen between us he told my husband that he takes the blame for everything ,so why did he do this for me if he didnt love me ??

 

why do i have to give up on him if he wasnt interested he wouldnt have done it to began with do you think he may have thought he loved me and than realized he doesnt love me now or doyou think he was lying to me the whole time.

 

as for his wife i hate her how could she let him go after the A and tell me im free to be with him and then take him back a month later i really,really hate her i mean dont get me wrong she seem so nice and sweet when she talked to me i mean she didnt even yell at me not even rude,she said she basically called me because she had a right to she said if your going to be sleeping with my husband than i have every right to call you she said she wasnt going to fight for him so doesnt that mean she doesnt love him.

 

i can work things out with my H and still be with the MM cant i ?

 

what i dont understand if his wife is the woman that most men at work say's she is than why did he cheat on her .i hear guys who have met the MM wife say shes beautiful,nice outgoing person,great cook blah,blah,blahbut obviously shes not satisfying him sexually right?

 

since we are going to continue to work for the same company dont you think we have a high chance of hooking up again ?

 

do you think you can love someone and cheat on them ??

 

 

You know you need help. How dare you say you hate a woman who treated you better than you treated her or yourself. What did she do to deserve your hatred or his cheating? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

 

That pig didn't need a reason to cheat. You were an easy target and he took it. Now you are acting like a crazy woman who believes that you are owed something. You aren't and no you can't love two men. What you need to do is let your husband go so that he can find a true woman.

[bentnotbroken]

have any of you ever even been in my situation to even understand how i feel ,the only way my H needs to know is if MM wants to be with me but since MM doesnt want to be with me my H doesnt need to know but his W should know since they are trying to work it out

 

 

What you are saying is you want to hang on to your comfort until you destroy someone else's. You are some role model for your children.

[bentnotbroken]

all all of these comments just from a woman's point of view ? what about a guy's point of view in this situation?

 

can someone please answer my question (do you think it is possible to love someone and yet cheat on them ?)

 

by the way if his W felt she had the right to call me frelly than why can't i have that same right and call her? i have thought about him getting mad st me if i tell W which is the only reason why i have'nt done it yet but i do think about it everyday i just dont understand how someone can say i love you and treat you with such respect and now look at you in anger and not pay any attention to you at all.

 

 

 

Using you as a screw toy, isn't treating you with respect. But from what I can see, you don't even treat yourself with respect.

[bentnotbroken]

well to answer the question if i were married to him i would have kept him satisfied in bed so he would'nt cheat after all that is why he cheated on W don't you think ?

 

do you think he will always cheat?

 

 

Apparently satisfication in bed is all you can offer, since he went back to his wife. Which by your rationale, meant she had more to offer than you. She certainly is showing more class than you are.

[bentnotbroken]

i guess all the hate towards W is really from jealousy towards her and being hurt and upset for how MM has been treating me,i guess i kind of feel like a fool.

 

well i guess he didnt love me but i guess i have some hope in maybe he did care for me i see how bad he is treating me and the bad look he gave me so why cant i open my eyes ? why would i still sleep withhim if givin the chance??

 

 

No morals, no standards, no ethics, no self respect, no diginity, no conscience, no principles, no common sense. I think that about covers all of why you would sleep with him again.

[bentnotbroken]

it is hard to move on when i have to see him monday-friday, i have thought about leaving the company i just don;t want it to look like he drove me out of the company ....

 

oh another thing i know i am going to get crap for this but well its 2 things a week ago i had my H come to the company to have luch with me and hang out i admit i did that to try and get him jealous was that crazy??

 

the 2nd thing MM has a brother who also works for the same company i have been flirting with MM brother and spending alot of time with him now im only doing this to get MM jealous and to see if he show's any type of reaction .

 

do you think the only reasonhe is with W is because of the kids i have asked myself that alot.

 

 

 

What ever reason he is with her has nothing to do with you and it is the reason he isn't with you.

[PLAYBRAT]

Man Lila...you take the cake. Fatal Attraction has NOTHING on you..

 

I think EVERYONE has given you sound straight up responses. What are you NOT getting about this??

 

Not to be rude, but seriously, are you a mental midget???

The man has done EVERYTHNG short of file a restraining order against you, and you STILL wonder if there is a chance??

 

Part of me wonders if this thread is even real, because I am having a hard time believing you are that selfish OR dense.

 

If this is real, for god's sake get a clue. It's over. Move on.......

and get some help. You need it...LOTS of it.

[LILA BELL]

bentnotbroken i know i may seem like a fool but you have to understand that i am heartbroken also why do i deserve to be treated this way ?

 

i know i should'nt hate her but i can't help it i do i seen her yesturday for the first time she picked him up from work i seen her from my office when i seen her i felt so angry i wanted to go out there and confront her i wanted to tell her you see that suv right there thats where your H has been fu***ng me i just felt a rage i wanted to hurt her i wanted to make her feel the way i feel.

 

the only thing that is holding me back from doing that is the MM i dont want him to hate me i guess i was also angry because i was hoping she was this ugly pathetic woman i hate to admit it but she was very pretty she didnt see me

 

i guess im hoping that when things get bad between them he will come back to me .

 

what kind of a woman will take a man back after cheating on her for the past few months does she not have any respect or dignity if she stays with him she deserves to get cheated on and any MM or MW that is not tending to their S sexually they can't get mad when the other half goes out looking for it they deserve it in my book so she got what she deserves

[bentnotbroken]

bentnotbroken i know i may seem like a fool but you have to understand that i am heartbroken also why do i deserve to be treated this way ?

 

i know i should'nt hate her but i can't help it i do i seen her yesturday for the first time she picked him up from work i seen her from my office when i seen her i felt so angry i wanted to go out there and confront her i wanted to tell her you see that suv right there thats where your H has been fu***ng me i just felt a rage i wanted to hurt her i wanted to make her feel the way i feel.

 

the only thing that is holding me back from doing that is the MM i dont want him to hate me i guess i was also angry because i was hoping she was this ugly pathetic woman i hate to admit it but she was very pretty she didnt see me

 

i guess im hoping that when things get bad between them he will come back to me .

 

what kind of a woman will take a man back after cheating on her for the past few months does she not have any respect or dignity if she stays with him she deserves to get cheated on and any MM or MW that is not tending to their S sexually they can't get mad when the other half goes out looking for it they deserve it in my book so she got what she deserves

 

 

So in your twisted rationale, you deserve for your husband to f*c* someone in your truck, since you aren't taking care of business. And as far as her not having any self respecgt or dignity, what does that say about you? If you have daughters I sure hope they don't pick up your character traits. Since she got what she deserves, let's hope you also get what you deserve.

[LucreziaBorgia]

 

i guess im hoping that when things get bad between them he will come back to me .

 

 

Doubt it. He would find a less hazardous and dramatic OW instead.

[bentnotbroken]

Doubt it. He would find a less hazardous and dramatic OW instead.

 

 

Or a blow up doll.

[whichwayisup]

i know i should'nt hate her but i can't help it i do i seen her yesturday for the first time she picked him up from work i seen her from my office when i seen her i felt so angry i wanted to go out there and confront her i wanted to tell her you see that suv right there thats where your H has been fu***ng me i just felt a rage i wanted to hurt her i wanted to make her feel the way i feel.

 

She has done NOTHING to you. YOU f**ked HER husband, so you have NO right to be pissed at her. Honestly, you are directing your hurt and anger at the wrong person. You should be angry at MM and at yourself. Blaming her is like you blaming your own husband. Duh...

 

This man LIED to you about the status of his marriage. He may have told you his marriage sucked or his wife didn't treat him well...Chances are he either lied or exaggerated so HE could get his way with you.

 

i guess im hoping that when things get bad between them he will come back to me

 

He is NOT coming back to you. He was never yours to begin with..

 

what kind of a woman will take a man back after cheating on her for the past few months does she not have any respect or dignity if she stays with him she deserves to get cheated on and any MM or MW that is not tending to their S sexually they can't get mad when the other half goes out looking for it they deserve it in my book so she got what she deserves

 

She's an UNselfish woman. She's putting the needs of her kids first and has taken her H back because SHE feels HE is worth giving another chance. HE also has a choice here, she took him back and he has stayed...NONE of your buisness, so get over it already.

 

So, I guess YOU blame your husband for you choosing to cheat on him since he wasn't giving you the proper action in bed? I guess your husband held a gun to YOUR head and said, HONEY, go f**k someone else because I ain't certainly doing it for you...

 

Please, take responsibility for your own actions, your own part in all of this. Stop blaming MM's wife, your husband and the MM himself. YOU willingly went into the A knowing he was married, so now it's fallen apart, it's time to move on and make your own closure. IF you can't do this on your own, then seek counselling.

 

Maybe in afew days when things calm down inside of you, you can come back here and re-read ALL the post replies, see if some of what we're all saying sinks in and makes some sense. Right now you aren't capable of hearing/reading anything, all you want is to vent your anger and hate towards his wife and do everything possible to win him back.

Problem is, he doesn't want to be WON back, let alone COME back to you...Sorry, but you must accept this and move on. If you don't, you WILL end up in worse shape than you're in now.

[JamesM]

well to answer the question if i were married to him i would have kept him satisfied in bed so he would'nt cheat after all that is why he cheated on W don't you think ?

 

do you think he will always cheat?

 

I almost hate to believe that you actually believe this to be true. If you do, then it is a naive belief. Marriage as you should know, does not always allow things to be perfect. Cheating is definitely not all about sex. It is about something that is missing in the marriage. While the MM may have used you for sex, this does not equal love as you found out when he had to make a choice. Did he choose you for sex only? It appears that way. But does that mean if you kept him happy in the sex department as his wife he would not cheat? No, he could still cheat.

 

I don't know the answer to that, but a relationship that begins on dishonesty and secrecy certainly will have a much harder time of surviving the hard times. A man who chooses to cheat when he is missing something in his marriage will not hesitate to do the same when he feels he is missing something from his relationship in the future.

[bentnotbroken]

By her own twisted rationale, if he went back to his wife, she(ow) didn't keep him satisfied sexually, therefore she deserved to lose him.....to his wife.

[whichwayisup]

What is weird though is, everything she depises about the MM's wife can be said about her own husband.

 

what kind of a woman (replace woman with MAN) will take a man (WIFE) back after cheating on her (HIM) for the past few months does she (HE) not have any respect or dignity if she (HE) stays with him (HER) (HE) she deserves to get cheated on and any MM or MW that is not tending to their S sexually they can't get mad when the other half goes out looking for it they deserve it in my book so she (HE) got what she (HE) deserves

 

So, does this apply to your own husband, if he finds out about the A, and takes you back? Just curious.

[JamesM]

jamesm why do you put the blame all on me and say i seduced him,yes i admit i did but it is not all my fault.

 

Actually, I gave you the perspective of his wife. It takes two to tango, but are three views of this affair. Yours, his, and the truth. The wife will hear his.

 

you do remember he was the one to ask to met up after work .

 

Yes...do you remember this comment made by you in your first post?

i basically would complain about my sex life like my husbands penis being to small and not able to satisfy me i would ask him if his wife would mind if he had a GF on the side.

 

Perhaps this is where I get my opinion.

 

another thing if he was in love and happy he would have never had this A he is the one that is married to her his obligation was to her he is the one who figured having sex with me is worth losing his wife, i did not put a gun

to his head he made the choice to cheat i didnt make it for him .

 

Correct. BOTH of you made the choice to cheat. BOTH of you are married. BOTH of you made the choice to break your marriage vows. BOTH of you were missing something from your marriages. BOTH are at fault. YOU have an obligation to your husband. YOU figured that having sex with him is worth losing your husband over. YOU made a choice to cheat with him when he asked to meet you after work. YOU made a decision to let him have sex with you when he asked. NO ONE was holding a gun to your head when you chose to reach for him and continue the sex act. And this can go on and on. The fact is...the blame is on BOTH of you.

 

it seems as though you are just a typical guy taking up for another guy trying to put the blame on the woman

 

I consider myself a typical sort of guy. I will take that as a compliment.

 

But you are wrong. Read my past posts. I do not usually "blame the woman." Far from it. In this case, notice I blame both. While I agree with you, he chose to cheat, I find it a bit hypocritical for you to act innocent while painting him as the slick manipulator. Fact is...based on your own words, you pursued him until he chose to meet you.

 

The question now is....what will you do for you marriage and your future?

[LILA BELL]

i know i may be getting on you ppl nerves and it may not seem as if im paying attention to u ppl but i am ,what i am writting is my actual thoughts i don't have anyone to talk to about this only 1 other person know's and she's not much help plus i can't tell her how i really feel .

 

some of you ppl are making me out to look crazy like a stalker im not following him home or driving by his house i only see him at work i admit i am kind of following him at work but that is as far as it goes.

 

as far as my husband im not satisfied with him sexually which is why i cheat and if im not satisfying him well i wouldnt be surprised if he goes and cheats but i know i am satisfying him he just cant satisfy me.

 

like i have stated i love my H for being the father of my children but if MM told me today that he wanted to be with me as in a relationship i would leave my H for MM so i guess you can say at the moment i am settling for 2nd best.

 

i'm curious have all of you ppl who are replying to me have you all been cheated on is this why some of you get so angry ?

[whichwayisup]

Okay, I understand you are venting your thoughts and alot of it is emotional...All we have to go on is by what you've said here so far..

 

I have a question for you. Since you say your husband isn't satisfying you in bed and you chose to go elsewhere to have better sex - Wouldn't it be easier to just talk to your husband, reconnect with him, and have better sex? To explore eachother all over again, either watch porn together or just play out your fantasy's? Get a sitter, have a romantic getaway? I don't understand why you aren't talking to your H about your needs not being met. Who knows, maybe HE has needs that you aren't meeting either.

 

like i have stated i love my H for being the father of my children but if MM told me today that he wanted to be with me as in a relationship i would leave my H for MM so i guess you can say at the moment i am settling for 2nd best.

 

Well, you DO have a choice here and if you don't love your H anymore and you feel like you're settling, maybe let him on how you feel so he can decide if he wants to settle as well? Who knows, maybe divorcing is the best thing to happen.

 

i'm curious have all of you ppl who are replying to me have you all been cheated on is this why some of you get so angry ?

 

Doesn't matter where you post this, here or on another board, or if you spoke to people offline about this, chances are you're going to get the same reactions that you get on here. Everyone has their own thoughts and different ways of giving out advice. The bottomline is, most of the replies, harshly said, are GOOD replies and people DO care.

[bentnotbroken]

i know i may be getting on you ppl nerves and it may not seem as if im paying attention to u ppl but i am ,what i am writting is my actual thoughts i don't have anyone to talk to about this only 1 other person know's and she's not much help plus i can't tell her how i really feel .

 

some of you ppl are making me out to look crazy like a stalker im not following him home or driving by his house i only see him at work i admit i am kind of following him at work but that is as far as it goes.

 

as far as my husband im not satisfied with him sexually which is why i cheat and if im not satisfying him well i wouldnt be surprised if he goes and cheats but i know i am satisfying him he just cant satisfy me.

 

like i have stated i love my H for being the father of my children but if MM told me today that he wanted to be with me as in a relationship i would leave my H for MM so i guess you can say at the moment i am settling for 2nd best.

 

i'm curious have all of you ppl who are replying to me have you all been cheated on is this why some of you get so angry ?

 

 

 

Us angry. Now that's funny. You say you hate his W, but we are angry.

[Chrome Barracuda]

i know i may be getting on you ppl nerves and it may not seem as if im paying attention to u ppl but i am ,what i am writting is my actual thoughts i don't have anyone to talk to about this only 1 other person know's and she's not much help plus i can't tell her how i really feel .

 

some of you ppl are making me out to look crazy like a stalker im not following him home or driving by his house i only see him at work i admit i am kind of following him at work but that is as far as it goes.

 

as far as my husband im not satisfied with him sexually which is why i cheat and if im not satisfying him well i wouldnt be surprised if he goes and cheats but i know i am satisfying him he just cant satisfy me.

 

like i have stated i love my H for being the father of my children but if MM told me today that he wanted to be with me as in a relationship i would leave my H for MM so i guess you can say at the moment i am settling for 2nd best.

 

i'm curious have all of you ppl who are replying to me have you all been cheated on is this why some of you get so angry ?

 

 

They are mad because you lack basic understanding and compassion.

 

When time goes on your going to see how much this MM thought of you, and how you really think of yourself. Having sex with another man in your own husband's car? Hmmm. nice. I wonder if you left the condom on the dashboard so where he can see it.

 

Your not satisfied sexually, so that's why you cheat???

 

Okay So YOU cheat, not your husband YOU cheat because you aint satisfied sexually? Have you been checked out for any STD's??

 

Would you be okay if your husband came home and said I'm not happy with you in the sack I wanna test drive a 20 year old?

 

Would you be happy about it then?

 

So you would actually abandon your kids for a man who's willing to dump his family for you. Some role model you are to your children. You are a nice example for your family to be proud of.

 

When they grow up there gonna rememeber, hey where was mama when I was potty training, prom, graduation?

 

Oh yeah she was getting banged out by the OM, that's my mom! lol.

 

You need serious help and your husband should get it all in the divorce, good day to you.

[LILA BELL]

CHROME this may come to a surprise to you but ALOT of ppl cheat because they are not satisfied sexually at home.

 

sex is a very important part of a relationship ppl tend to forget how important it is,come on do you possibly think a marriage can just survive on love NOOOOOOOOO which is why so many ppl cheat .

 

just because you have kids does not mean you should stay together,yes i may be cheating on my H but that does not reflect what type of mother i am.

 

i have tried to have better sex with my H it's just not there he's to small im not into it with him i hate to say it but at times in order to get into it i have to imagine myself with MM.

 

i have a question do you think MM thinks he is in love with his W i mean because he has cheated and if you cheat on your SO how can you be in love with them do you think it is possible to cheat on someone but still love them,sometimes i woder if he is just fooling himself into thinking he is in love with her

[Chrome Barracuda]

CHROME this may come to a surprise to you but ALOT of ppl cheat because they are not satisfied sexually at home.

 

sex is a very important part of a relationship ppl tend to forget how important it is,come on do you possibly think a marriage can just survive on love NOOOOOOOOO which is why so many ppl cheat .

 

just because you have kids does not mean you should stay together,yes i may be cheating on my H but that does not reflect what type of mother i am.

 

i have tried to have better sex with my H it's just not there he's to small im not into it with him i hate to say it but at times in order to get into it i have to imagine myself with MM.

 

i have a question do you think MM thinks he is in love with his W i mean because he has cheated and if you cheat on your SO how can you be in love with them do you think it is possible to cheat on someone but still love them,sometimes i woder if he is just fooling himself into thinking he is in love with her

 

 

 

LILA I aint no school kid with idealistic worldview.

 

Let's be clear.

 

Second if anything, your not sexually satisfied. Get a dildo. or get some viagra from your husband. If anything you had these questions in the begining you could have brought them up to your husband before you got married!!!!

 

Next Sex is very important but sex isnt everything. Arent you women always complaining about my husband only wants sex and he doesnt understand me. blah blah blah. So your saying that it's just about the sex, how shallow can you be? Is the sex worth risking your life??? really? Do you think this is the first affair the OM been in? Do you think your the first, because more often than not your not!

 

Your cheating does reflect on you in the greater microcosm in your children's upbringing, your actions mold your children into the people they become believe it or not. The better example you present the better your children come out. If people find out about your affair, your kids could be tormented and bullied. Kids these days will call each other's parents out on their triflingness.

 

Your blind to what your doing. You dont care. Your making excuses saying it's okay to have sex outside of your marriage.

 

Really? So if that's okay why dont you tell your husband and let's see what he says about that? You think he's gonna be cool with it.

 

Please once a cheater, always a cheater.

 

Your proof of the reason why men should not get married, you give no incentive for a man to even consider marriage. What was the point of the marriage if you was always unhappy with your husband sexually? You used him for his money and him raising the children?

 

Wow some example your setting, some mother you are!

[bentnotbroken]

CHROME this may come to a surprise to you but ALOT of ppl cheat because they are not satisfied sexually at home.

 

sex is a very important part of a relationship ppl tend to forget how important it is,come on do you possibly think a marriage can just survive on love NOOOOOOOOO which is why so many ppl cheat .

 

just because you have kids does not mean you should stay together,yes i may be cheating on my H but that does not reflect what type of mother i am.

 

i have tried to have better sex with my H it's just not there he's to small im not into it with him i hate to say it but at times in order to get into it i have to imagine myself with MM.

 

i have a question do you think MM thinks he is in love with his W i mean because he has cheated and if you cheat on your SO how can you be in love with them do you think it is possible to cheat on someone but still love them,sometimes i woder if he is just fooling himself into thinking he is in love with her

 

 

No body said you should stay in a marriage for the children. But they are a large consideration when conducting ourselves in a civilized manner. Your children are watching every thing you do. And what they aren't seeing someone else is and will some day tell them what their mother is really like.

 

Secondly, if you are that unsatisfied, leave. It isn't hard. You pack your bags and your children and you leave. Or you ask him to leave. File the paper work and divorce. You don't cheat. You don't find your sexual satisfaction at the expense of others lives.

 

Thirdly, what you are doing is irrational and dangerous. He has told you to leave him alone. And what is your response...try to be where he is to make him notice you, flirt with his brother, use your husband to try to make him jealous and to hate his wife. You are tettering on the verge of madness

 

And finally, people cheat because they want to. They don't need a reason, just an excuse. Your husband is small or so you say. Wasn't he that small when you had sex and got pregnant, more than once? That is your excuse. Someone else will have a different excuse. And some of us don't do it(no I wasn't sexually satisfied either, that's what duracell is for)but I didn't cheat. I loved him in spite of the problems and respected him because of that love. So you are lacking in two areas, love for your family, your husband and yourself(notice I said lacking and not that you don't love at all) and respect for all the involved parties because of your lack of self love.

[justice]

i dont understand why pplhate on the OW i mean im jst as heart broken as she is does that even matter i have to see him everyday at work and its hard on me.

 

sure i try to go around him as much as possible i know he notices that when i see him i cant help but remember everything that we did and i miss him .

 

when he would tell me he loved me i trusted that he meant it he really looked like he meant it anyway he must have planned on leaving her if he told her about the affair right ?? but i guess he changed his mind she must have pulled some trick.

 

my husband doesnt have anything to do with this im willing to be with him and would love to be MM on the side how is that wrong??

 

maybe he was confussed because i was still calling him and he would talk to me yeah he made it short and yes he would say not tocall him anymore but why would he answer the phone when i called if he really didnt want to talk to me??

 

i think W does need to know the her H was allowing another woman to give him oral and all the other sexual details i mean im sure shes curious better she know now rather than later right?

 

 

Go ahead and tell her and see what happens.

People don't hate all OW. I'm a former betrayed spouse and I don't.

I only dislike the ones with a mindset like yours. No remorse, no admittance of wrong. I'm sorry, that is disgusting behavior.

Go and seek help, you are obviously sick.

[justice]

Did you just say that you want your MM to fight your husband? In all honesty I can see why he backed away and said I want no part of this. He probably just wanted some cheap side action and got this.

 

"Cheap" is the operable word here.......