MW in love with MM why is he treating me this way now??

[LILA BELL]

owl yes i have reed what you posted i have been trying to treat my husband better im paying more attention to him,i have to admit he has asked me "why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden" he said lately you've been starting arguments with me over the smallest things he said it seem as though you didnt even want to be around me i think when he told me that ,that was actually the first time i felt bad for what i was doing.

 

owl what did you mean when you said your kids learned at age 6????

[melbar68]

First my dear you blew it when you spoke to the wife, when she called you should have told her she had the wrong number or just denied anything. It's not love it's lust and the day you realize that it will be as if all the weight of the world will be lifted off of you. i was in a similar situation and still am except i only see him when i want to and when his wife called me just acted as if she had the wrong number and didnt want to talk. although i also thought it was love and i thought i couldnt live without him one day while at a hotel with him i dont know did it something just snapped in my head and my heart and i realized that it was not love, but lust and how i felt was the best feeling in a long time. although the sex is great and more i know in my heart and my head that it will never be more and although maybe in a small way i did wish that he would have left his wife for me, i no longer care just because i figured out in was lust. Leave it alone it's not worth it there will be other men and if not theres always your husband. listen think about it do you really think it was love, my mm and i always tell eachother we love eachother and miss eachother and how how much we need eachother, but i realized now its just lust and we have been seeing eachother for about 7 months now.

 

dont stress it just leave it alone, and leave huim alone if he wants you he will make the first move

[melbar68]

First my dear you blew it when you spoke to the wife, when she called you should have told her she had the wrong number or just denied anything. It's not love it's lust and the day you realize that it will be as if all the weight of the world will be lifted off of you. i was in a similar situation and still am except i only see him when i want to and when his wife called me just acted as if she had the wrong number and didnt want to talk. although i also thought it was love and i thought i couldnt live without him one day while at a hotel with him i dont know did it something just snapped in my head and my heart and i realized that it was not love, but lust and how i felt was the best feeling in a long time. although the sex is great and more i know in my heart and my head that it will never be more and although maybe in a small way i did wish that he would have left his wife for me, i no longer care just because i figured out in was lust. Leave it alone it's not worth it there will be other men and if not theres always your husband. listen think about it do you really think it was love, my mm and i always tell eachother we love eachother and miss eachother and how how much we need eachother, but i realized now its just lust and we have been seeing eachother for about 7 months now.

 

dont stress it just leave it alone, and leave huim alone if he wants you he will make the first move

[Tony]

Just a reminder: PLEASE STAY ON TOPIC, THAT IS, MAKE SURE YOUR POST RELATES TO THE FIRST ONE. ALSO, NO PERSONAL ATTACKS.

 

Many thanks!

[Owl]

Thanks Tony! With that said...

 

my question is why would he tell me he loves me and treat me so nice and now he's treating me so bad his wife basically left him after finding out about the affair we could have been together like we planned why did he have to go after her she basically had givin up on him what do i do i still love him and want to be with him he he came up to me today and told me he wanted to be with me i would jump even if he just came up to me and just wanted sex i would jump do you guys think we will ever be together again even it is just for sex??

 

He told you what he did but then went back to his wife because in the end he didn't want to continue the affair, and wanted to repair/rebuild/recover his marriage. I believe that his motivations were that simple.

 

No, I don't think that you'll be together again. He's made his choice. Your best possible outcome is to accept that choice, and focus instead on yourself rather than what he's doing and what his motivations are. Its not easy, but it is simple.

 

Anything else I could add probably would be off topic. I hope this is what you were looking for.

[danavladeem]

Odd advice.

I was responding to her odd point: "i basically would complain about my sex life like my husbands penis being to small and not able to satisfy me i would ask him if his wife would mind if he had a GF on the side."

 

Yes, are they real?

Yes, they are real people. http://www.canada.com/topics/bodyandhealth/story.html?id=f8168eb9-7206-48b0-b4b3-3efb3827a6d2&k=59098

 

Why of all people would Playbrat be mentioned here? Puzzling.

 

Ans: it was a reference to an earlier posting on another thread where she made a comment.

[jaslene2009]

Well, what he found out was that he really did love his wife and you were just for fun. Some MM will tell you they love just to get you to fall for them. Once you fall and he gets caught, you are out there dangling alone. I will say stop calling him. Let him go back to wifey and you work on yourself. Don't have sex with him again becuse that only sets you back. If he don't want you, you don't need him. Internalize your own self worth and sense of self. I started exercising and dancing. Find a hobby you like and do it after work so that you don't feel a need to meet him.

hi a am a 29 yr

old

MW

ihave been

M

for 8 yrs with 2 kids. i work with this man who is also

M

he is 29 and he has been

M

for the past 10 yrs with 4 kids.

 

we have worked together for 6yrs i have always been attracted to him i guess you can say i have always flirted with him and been friendly with him he never flirted back until about 1 yr ago we were basically just flirting on and off i guess i was coming on strong with the flirting comments i basically would complain about my sex life like my husbands penis being to small and not able to satisfy me i would ask him if his wife would mind if he had a

GF

on the side.

 

to make a long story short he was the one who asked to met up after work basically we both knew what was going to happen

im

not the one who asked to met up it was him.

 

so

yes we were having a affair it was going on for 4 months we started telling each other we love one another and would tell each other how much we miss each other how much we cant stand to be without each other.

 

we never went out with each other like tothe movies or hung out to spend time together we just spent time at work talked to each other whenever we had a free chance and well had sex after work and off he went .

 

his wife found out about us he told her she called me up at work and seem to be a great person she told me if i love her husband and if he loves me and we truely want tobe together than shes not going to stand in the way she didnt even talk bad to me she basically gave me the ok to be with him she said they were done.

 

at work that day i didnt see him or talk to him it seem as if he was staying away from me the next day he calls me and we talk for 30 mins he basically tells me we cant see each other anymore i was

so

hurt i mean i thought we loved each other i thought we were going to be together and then he tell me this.i stayed away from him for a few days but i missed him to much i called him up asking him if we can met up telling him i missand love him he turned me down .

 

i found myself calling him everday at work and after work as he was driving home trying to get him to met up with me for sex and telling him i love him

so

much he told me no he said he is back with his wife and he wants to work it out with her my heart was crushed i then told him he can still have me on the side if he wants if i cant be with hm completely then i'll settle for just sex with him he told me no

 

if he keeps telling me no why would he continue to answer his phone when i call yeah he would make it short but he still answer's it i went up to him at wok he told me didnt i tell you already that i dont want to talk to you anymore he told me go pay more attention to my husband .

 

i cant get him out my head ithink about him everyday

im

still in love with him i miss him

so

much to make things worse i went up to him a few days ago at work and he kind of yelled at me and said dont talk to me he then called me every name in the book i was crushed i walked away went back to him and asked why are you treating me this way he began to still call me every name in the book and he walked away from me and i just stood there trying to talk to him . i try to go around him for any reason i look for him at work i pass by him just

so

i can see him and he doesnt even look my way .

 

my question is why would he tell me he loves me and treat me

so

nice and now he's treating me

so

bad his wife basically left him after finding out about the affair we could have been together like we planned why did he have to go after her she basically had givin up on him what do i do i still love him and want to be with him he he came up to me today and told me he wanted to be with me i would jump even if he just came up to me and just wanted sex i would jump do you guys think we will ever be together again even it is just for sex??

 

[LILA BELL]

ok so here is the latest obviously in still with the company i am not going to quit my job,MM is still there he's the top engineer for the company so they keep him very happy there he is'nt going anywhere.

 

i have not tried to talk to him at all yes i do run into him from time to time but i dont llok his way i must say it is hard but im doing it.

 

when i know i have to go around him i make sure i have someone with me im not sure if it's a good idea doing this because it's always a male im with and i m laughing with this other male and acting like im really into the conversation. my question by me doing that do i look like a s**t to him ?

 

another thing that has been bothering me lately is he has a brother whoalso works for the same company and i admit i was flirting a little bit with his brother only to get MM jealous well brother told me last week that MM said to brother he didnt care if we were sleeping together that it doesnt bother him at all and im not going to lie with brother told me this i got hurt and angry why would he say that could he mean it or could he be kinda sorta jealous?

 

how long does it take to get over this i guess it depends on the person right ? i know i am dealing with it better but i still think about him i know over time my feelings will go away i just hope it goes away sooner rather than later .

[OWoman]

another thing that has been bothering me lately is he has a brother whoalso works for the same company and i admit i was flirting a little bit with his brother only to get MM jealous well brother told me last week that MM said to brother he didnt care if we were sleeping together that it doesnt bother him at all and im not going to lie with brother told me this i got hurt and angry why would he say that could he mean it or could he be kinda sorta jealous?

 

So his brother knows about you and your xMM. Chances are he's not the only one. I'd worry about your future at that company, given your xMM's value to them relative to your own.

[bentnotbroken]

ok so here is the latest obviously in still with the company i am not going to quit my job,MM is still there he's the top engineer for the company so they keep him very happy there he is'nt going anywhere.

 

i have not tried to talk to him at all yes i do run into him from time to time but i dont llok his way i must say it is hard but im doing it.

 

when i know i have to go around him i make sure i have someone with me im not sure if it's a good idea doing this because it's always a male im with and i m laughing with this other male and acting like im really into the conversation. my question by me doing that do i look like a s**t to him ?

 

another thing that has been bothering me lately is he has a brother whoalso works for the same company and i admit i was flirting a little bit with his brother only to get MM jealous well brother told me last week that MM said to brother he didnt care if we were sleeping together that it doesnt bother him at all and im not going to lie with brother told me this i got hurt and angry why would he say that could he mean it or could he be kinda sorta jealous?

 

how long does it take to get over this i guess it depends on the person right ? i know i am dealing with it better but i still think about him i know over time my feelings will go away i just hope it goes away sooner rather than later .

 

 

 

He may not think you are *****, but he surely knows that you aren't behaving like the sharpest crayon in the box. You like playing games, don't you? HE DOES NOT WANT YOU. HE HAS SAID SO IN MORE THAN ONE WAY. You are on the verge of losing your job and having a restraining order placed on you. How will you explain that to your husband? Lie and say the mm is causing all the problems. If I were in control of your company, I would be looking at the things that effect productivity, I would be careful that a lot of arrows didn't point back to you. You seriously should think about getting some help before you suffer some major consequences.

[LucreziaBorgia]

Considering what you said, you could invite the Chippendales to come in and run a train on you right in front of him and he would probably just roll his eyes, shrug and walk away.

 

As for the conversation with the brother. When a man tells another man that he can have his turn, you shouldn't read anything into that except for the obvious: he is done with you, and now you can be someone else's problem.

 

I'm not sure how much more clear outside of a clearly worded restraining order that would convince you of the obvious: that he does not want you and he is done with whatever it is you two were doing.

 

You may want to brush off your resume and consider looking for another job. Once you get the reputation as the 'pass around girl' any chance you had at respect or promotion is blown.

[bentnotbroken]

I think she is already at that point, but she doesn't know it yet.

[mistie03]

This has got to be one of the scariest females I have ever heard about. I almost thought it was a hoax when I first read because it was so outrageous.

 

Something is definitely wired wrong. I hope the OP gets some counseling of some sort if she would even be willing to listen.

[LILA BELL]

i dont understand why some of u ppl on here say things like im crazy and many other things. i come on here because i have no one to talk to i have been paying attention to what ppl have been telling me.

 

i know i may not want to admit to certain things my mind is not clear at the moment but i can honestly say that i am a bit better.everything i have posted is how i feel these are my true feelings im not trying to sugar coat anything i am bitter im freaking pissed off im hurt why lie about how i feel and how does that make me crazy and insane like some of u have stated.

 

i know i have been making every excuse,nut im not going to lie im hurt i guess i just want to believe that the things he told me were real at that moment im just going through so many mixed emotions im sure i'll be fine its just taking awhile because this is someone i have known for 8 yrs and having a affair with for 8months or so the sex didnt come right away we actually didnt start the sex until the end of Sep. 07 ,so it wasnt always about sex.

 

i know i will get better over time and just because i come on here from time to time and act like a bitter insane woman does'nt mean im really like that,you try working with someone who u thought loved u and u loved back see how u feel.

[bentnotbroken]

i dont understand why some of u ppl on here say things like im crazy and many other things. i come on here because i have no one to talk to i have been paying attention to what ppl have been telling me.

 

i know i may not want to admit to certain things my mind is not clear at the moment but i can honestly say that i am a bit better.everything i have posted is how i feel these are my true feelings im not trying to sugar coat anything i am bitter im freaking pissed off im hurt why lie about how i feel and how does that make me crazy and insane like some of u have stated.

 

i know i have been making every excuse,nut im not going to lie im hurt i guess i just want to believe that the things he told me were real at that moment im just going through so many mixed emotions im sure i'll be fine its just taking awhile because this is someone i have known for 8 yrs and having a affair with for 8months or so the sex didnt come right away we actually didnt start the sex until the end of Sep. 07 ,so it wasnt always about sex.

 

i know i will get better over time and just because i come on here from time to time and act like a bitter insane woman does'nt mean im really like that,you try working with someone who u thought loved u and u loved back see how u feel.

 

 

No you should try being married to someone you loved and thought loved you back. That would be how your husband feels.

[mopar crazy]

There is one thing I could never understand...why go after the x's brother to make him jealous? I just couldn't do that. Maybe going after one of his friends but a brother. That to me is just, ick! I guess I'm not one "to keep it in the family."

 

Stay away from his brother, stay away from him, and get on w/ your life. From what you have posted he doesn't want anything to do w/ you. He is trying to repair his M, try to repair your heart, your M, and get on w/ life.

[justice]

another thing that has been bothering me lately is he has a brother whoalso works for the same company and i admit i was flirting a little bit with his brother only to get MM jealous well brother told me last week that MM said to brother he didnt care if we were sleeping together that it doesnt bother him at all and im not going to lie with brother told me this i got hurt and angry why would he say that could he mean it or could he be kinda sorta jealous?

 

How long does it take? When you can fully quit playing these childish high school games of jealousy and move on with your life.

[eeyore1980]

i dont understand why some of u ppl on here say things like im crazy and many other things. i come on here because i have no one to talk to i have been paying attention to what ppl have been telling me.

 

i know i may not want to admit to certain things my mind is not clear at the moment but i can honestly say that i am a bit better.everything i have posted is how i feel these are my true feelings im not trying to sugar coat anything i am bitter im freaking pissed off im hurt why lie about how i feel and how does that make me crazy and insane like some of u have stated.

 

i know i have been making every excuse,nut im not going to lie im hurt i guess i just want to believe that the things he told me were real at that moment im just going through so many mixed emotions im sure i'll be fine its just taking awhile because this is someone i have known for 8 yrs and having a affair with for 8months or so the sex didnt come right away we actually didnt start the sex until the end of Sep. 07 ,so it wasnt always about sex.

 

i know i will get better over time and just because i come on here from time to time and act like a bitter insane woman does'nt mean im really like that,you try working with someone who u thought loved u and u loved back see how u feel.

 

I read your first post on this thread the other day and had to take all this time to absorb it before I could respond.

I would like to ask you some questions, if you don't mind. I'm not an OW, I'm a betrayed spouse, and I'm looking for some insight, not trying to flame you or anything.

You say you would like to believe the things he told you are real. Has it ever occurred to you your husband might want to believe the things you have told him are real, or the wife might want to believe the things the her husband have told her are real?

You say try working with someone u thought loved u and u loved back and see how you feel. Has it ever crossed your mind that is what his wife and your husband are doing right now? Not working, but LIVING with someone who took vows with them and then broke them. His wife has every right to be having sex with him, she took him on as single and married him. You pursued him for several years, knowing from day one he was married and had made a committment to someone else, and you yourself were married and had made a committment to someone else. It seems your husband is at this time unaware of all this. What were you thinking in your head that made all that ok to do? What are you thinking right now that is still making it ok?

You hate his wife? Why? What has she ever done to you? She didn't even know you existed until you had been in an affair with her husband for 8 months, and you admit she was nice to you when she found out.

I understand if you don't want to answer these questions, but I hope you will. I could use some help in understanding the thought processes behind putting me in the hell I am in now.

[Chrome Barracuda]

I read your first post on this thread the other day and had to take all this time to absorb it before I could respond.

I would like to ask you some questions, if you don't mind. I'm not an OW, I'm a betrayed spouse, and I'm looking for some insight, not trying to flame you or anything.

You say you would like to believe the things he told you are real. Has it ever occurred to you your husband might want to believe the things you have told him are real, or the wife might want to believe the things the her husband have told her are real?

You say try working with someone u thought loved u and u loved back and see how you feel. Has it ever crossed your mind that is what his wife and your husband are doing right now? Not working, but LIVING with someone who took vows with them and then broke them. His wife has every right to be having sex with him, she took him on as single and married him. You pursued him for several years, knowing from day one he was married and had made a committment to someone else, and you yourself were married and had made a committment to someone else. It seems your husband is at this time unaware of all this. What were you thinking in your head that made all that ok to do? What are you thinking right now that is still making it ok?

You hate his wife? Why? What has she ever done to you? She didn't even know you existed until you had been in an affair with her husband for 8 months, and you admit she was nice to you when she found out.

I understand if you don't want to answer these questions, but I hope you will. I could use some help in understanding the thought processes behind putting me in the hell I am in now.

 

I dont think she even cares about her husband she acts like he doesnt even exists. I mean it's like looking at a person with another personality.

 

I would never want to be married to a woman this crazy, she is crazy!

 

She acts like she's single when she has a wedding ring on her finger. It's like she leaves she's one person, then when she comes home she's someone else.

 

She's a fraud!

[Cobra_X30]

I dont think she even cares about her husband she acts like he doesnt even exists. I mean it's like looking at a person with another personality.

 

I would never want to be married to a woman this crazy, she is crazy!

 

She acts like she's single when she has a wedding ring on her finger. It's like she leaves she's one person, then when she comes home she's someone else.

 

She's a fraud!

 

Yes But,

 

Chrome... do you think a woman like this could fool you? I know for fact that she could not fool me, she is just too crazy, too imbalanced.

 

So, I am left to wonder what kind of man she is married to.

[mistie03]

You say you would like to believe the things he told you are real. Has it ever occurred to you your husband might want to believe the things you have told him are real, or the wife might want to believe the things the her husband have told her are real?

You say try working with someone u thought loved u and u loved back and see how you feel. Has it ever crossed your mind that is what his wife and your husband are doing right now? Not working, but LIVING with someone who took vows with them and then broke them. His wife has every right to be having sex with him, she took him on as single and married him. You pursued him for several years, knowing from day one he was married and had made a committment to someone else, and you yourself were married and had made a committment to someone else. It seems your husband is at this time unaware of all this. What were you thinking in your head that made all that ok to do? What are you thinking right now that is still making it ok?

You hate his wife? Why? What has she ever done to you? She didn't even know you existed until you had been in an affair with her husband for 8 months, and you admit she was nice to you when she found out.

I understand if you don't want to answer these questions, but I hope you will. I could use some help in understanding the thought processes behind putting me in the hell I am in now.

The thing that stands out to me in the OP comments is her total lack of empathy for anyone but herself. It seems almost sociopathic or something. Everything she posts is ME, ME, ME. Scary.

[eeyore1980]

The thing that stands out to me in the OP comments is her total lack of empathy for anyone but herself. It seems almost sociopathic or something. Everything she posts is ME, ME, ME. Scary.

 

Yeah, that's why I waited to post. The first post made here sounds like she spent years beating down on this guy until he finally hooked up with her, and even I, a BS, have a hard time not feeling sympathy for him, I mean, he's a married guy and everything, but how many years can you have free tail offered up to you on a platter and keep turning it down?

I believe she is very upset and hurt, and am still interested in how she can make herself the victim in this mess.

[Impudent Oyster]

i just go around him in hopes that i will get his attention even if it is a glance my way although it has not happen yet but the other day i passed by and he did look up at me only thing is he gave me a disgusted look and shook his head why would he do that ?

 

Why? Because he realizes he's got a Class A Bunny Boiler on his hands. Good god, I bet he's never going to screw around again, at least you scared one guy straight!

[Impudent Oyster]

 

If Anyone Got Anyone Good That Would Be Me Getting Her Good She Should Feel Stupid Im The One That Knows How Her Husbands D**k Looks I Know How Her H F**ks

 

Congratulations.

 

You need help, and you need it fast. Do yourself a favor and make an appointment at the nearest mental health facility.

[BerryAire]

I've read all 12 pages of this thread in detail and there are so many loopholes and discrepencies (more than I can fit in this post, and too big a pain to cross reference all of them) which just prove this person is a troll. I suspect she is the same person as Dana and also the newer poster "INNUCENT". If an administrator would look at the IP addresses they would be the same.

 

I don't believe one word of this woman's story (if she even IS a woman), although it was an entertaining read.

 

The one huge descrepency that blew her cover is several pages back in this thread she says that she saw the MW at her work and noted that she was "very pretty" but a few days later she says she "hears" the MW looks young, but doubts it. If she's seen the woman, she'd know whether or not she looked young.

 

Nice try whoever-you-are, but you're not fooling me. Either way, all these replies with suggestions to see a mental health professional is good advice for you.

Edited February 5, 2008 by BerryAire