jj2007 Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 After reading all I have to say is wow......just wow. Thanks for the entertainment! Link to post Share on other sites
wyldflower Posted February 6, 2008 Share Posted February 6, 2008 OMG, Lila/Dana/INNUCENT. Are you typing this whilst wallowing in your own bodily fluids in an adult-sized nappy, with lipstick smeared all over your (possibly bearded) face and old Bugsy simmering in the slow cooker? Some people have way too much time on their hands. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LILA BELL Posted February 11, 2008 Author Share Posted February 11, 2008 eeyore1980...you might not agree with me but i am a victim in this,even though i got myself into this situation. you asked about me living with someone who i lied to everyday honestly some of you ppl are going to give me hell for this but during the A I didnt care how my H felt i was being selfesh,i do believe i was able to hide it well,what im trying to say is i never felt guilty,and to tell you the truth if MM came to me today and asked me to meet him after work i would do it 2 reasons why iwould because im not over him yet and im bitter towards his wife so she is the main reason why i would meet him after work to stick it to her, now im being honest here,even though that is wrong that is how i feel and would do at the moment. you asked whyi hate his W simple he chose her and not me,but was it a smart choice ,who knows. I think with him i believed everything he told me because it was like a new love i was feeling things i ahvent felt in a long time,do you know the feeling you get when you first fall for someone,well thats how i felt. I never took his wife's feelings into consideration,i dont know what he was telling his wife we never talked about her he always kept her out of the conversation,but i talked alot about my H . He had to have been lacking something in his M for him to have a A with me if everything were perfect he wouldnt have came my way,when someone is having a A the spouse is the last person on their mind otherwise they wouldnt be cheating in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LILA BELL Posted February 11, 2008 Author Share Posted February 11, 2008 BERRYAIRE i wouldnt care if the administrator looked into IP in fact i hope they do ,im me LILA and thats it. My advice to you is to take a breather from LS remove yourself away from your keyboard and calm down. By the way his W came up here few weeks ago she was parked in front of the company she satyed in her vehical she was waitng for her H and yes i was trying to look at her through a window all i seen was her face not a perfect view but she looked pretty from what i seen other employees here have seen her they say she looks younger than her age and say shes very attractive, so no i have not seen her face to face and im not looking forward to that day Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 None of that matters now, Lila. Whatever it was MM thought he was missing, he apparently was mistaken in thinking he would find it with you and went back to his W. No reason to hate her for something your MM did. As for you: what are you doing to put this behind you? Are you going to try to make an effort with your H to fix what is broken in your marriage or will you simply continue to find ways to cuckold him? Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 eeyore1980...you might not agree with me but i am a victim in this,even though i got myself into this situation. you asked about me living with someone who i lied to everyday honestly some of you ppl are going to give me hell for this but during the A I didnt care how my H felt i was being selfesh,i do believe i was able to hide it well,what im trying to say is i never felt guilty,and to tell you the truth if MM came to me today and asked me to meet him after work i would do it 2 reasons why iwould because im not over him yet and im bitter towards his wife so she is the main reason why i would meet him after work to stick it to her, now im being honest here,even though that is wrong that is how i feel and would do at the moment. you asked whyi hate his W simple he chose her and not me,but was it a smart choice ,who knows. I think with him i believed everything he told me because it was like a new love i was feeling things i ahvent felt in a long time,do you know the feeling you get when you first fall for someone,well thats how i felt. I never took his wife's feelings into consideration,i dont know what he was telling his wife we never talked about her he always kept her out of the conversation,but i talked alot about my H . He had to have been lacking something in his M for him to have a A with me if everything were perfect he wouldnt have came my way,when someone is having a A the spouse is the last person on their mind otherwise they wouldnt be cheating in the first place. I think the wife could care less what you think of her. It appears you aren't trying to move forward. And if you are anything like the ow in my situation, you are going to end up with a RO against you eventually. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 but i am a victim in this How are you a victim in all this? You chose to go after another woman's husband. And what did his W ever do to you to make you bitter toward her? Seems she's upset that he chose his wife over her, and that is why she hates his wife and is feeling bitter towards her. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 She's a hurt and jealous OW and her heart probably can't take it out on the MM as she still wants him so it's easier for her to hate his wife...MM's wife who has done nothing to her except be in the way of a man she wants. Link to post Share on other sites
openingup Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 1. He told you that he loved you and he treated you nicely because he was getting away with it at the time. Once he got caught, he threw you under the bus because he had to make a choice, and he chose his wife. He didn't want his wife to leave him. He only wanted to be able to have an affair while keeping his wife. 2. Because he wants her and wants to stay with her. Just because he helped himself to a side dish doesn't mean he wants to give up the main meal. 3. Solve your problems at home with either divorce or counseling. I have a feeling once you clear that up, you'll see that MM wasn't your greatest love - he was more like a drug that allowed you to escape your situation. You needed him like a crackhead needs crack - and hopefully you'll see that in time and put down the crackpipe, so to speak. 4. No. He made his choice, you may as well find a way to deal with that. What about your husband in all of this? Why are you still married? Hi LB, Brilliant answer. What else is there to say? It's what every OW knows and can't admit to herself. This post prompted me to look up a few of your others and you seem to have a real knack for discerning peoples' motives. Best of luck with your breast cancer battle; you sound like a fighter and a winner. Link to post Share on other sites
Teresa55 Posted February 16, 2008 Share Posted February 16, 2008 You said the two of you were friends and worked together for about 8 years before the affair. You said you flirted with him, told him you were unsatisfied sexually, and if his wife would mind if he had a girlfriend. What you were really saying to him and he knew it was, "I want to F***k you." From your post, even after all this blatant come on's and sexual challenges you tossed to him, it still took him sometime to take you up on your offer. After all this sexual talk, I think most anyone would start to wonder what it would be like to have sex with you and fantasize about whether they could satisfy you etc. It is my opinion that there was absolutely nothing lacking in his marriage or the sex with his wife. I think you just put it in his face soooo long and probably caught him on a day where he had had a fight with his wife or was feeling "weak" for some other unrelated reason. Thus, he decided to go for it, making a mistake as we humans tend to do from time to time. My one question to you is whom told whom they loved them first? Did you start the romantic talk or did he? Was the I love you's said during the heat of sex or when the two of you were just talking in a non sexual situation? I'm betting you instigated the romantic talk and he just went along with it. After all what was he gonna say---Nope, don't love you, just wanna f***k you. Having a woman throw herself at a man is a great ego boost to any man. Hell, having an attractive man flirt like crazy with me and throw himself at me would boost my ego even if I wasn't particularly attracted to him. At this point I think the guy is not only disgusted with you, but disqusted with himself for his foolish decision to have sex with you and mess up his marriage. Calling you names was not nice on his part, but it was probably done out of frustration when you refused to leave him alone after he repeatedly asked you to do so. BTW, trying to make him think you are interested in his brother just makes you look like a ho in his eyes. And he obviously thinks you are a loose woman or he wouldn't have told his brother to feel free to have a go at you. I understand you are feeling hurt by all this, but if a man wants you, you do not have to throw your self at him to get him. He will pursue you and spend time with you (other than sex) and generally treat you well. Even if this guys marriage falls apart he will start to see someone he respects. Unfortunately for you that is not you. I wish you well. I understand you are hurting. But in the future don't put yourself in this type of situation and you won't get hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LILA BELL Posted February 18, 2008 Author Share Posted February 18, 2008 Teresa55 I will be honest in my answer i started giving him the mooshy talk first giving him hints that i have feelings for him. Telling him that i wanted to leave my H and i was going to divorce and throw my H out the house i asked him if he wanted to move in with me. I told him i have strong feelings for him and i think i was falling in love with him,then i asked him how did he feel about me he told me hehad feelings for me ,he didnt have to say he had feelings for me he could have just said i dont feel anything towards you. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Teresa55 I will be honest in my answer i started giving him the mooshy talk first giving him hints that i have feelings for him. Telling him that i wanted to leave my H and i was going to divorce and throw my H out the house i asked him if he wanted to move in with me. I told him i have strong feelings for him and i think i was falling in love with him,then i asked him how did he feel about me he told me hehad feelings for me ,he didnt have to say he had feelings for me he could have just said i dont feel anything towards you. And you could have left him alone in the first place,so Lila it's time to let stop putting everything on him. You opened the door, and when he walked in and walked out, you should just move on. Divorce your husband and go find someone who is willint to put up with your special brand of drama. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LILA BELL Posted February 18, 2008 Author Share Posted February 18, 2008 Bentnotbroken you along with LucreziaBorgia and Whichwayisup are really the only few that have really helped me. You three seem very true and sincere,i know i am a easy target because of the things i say which is why i get bashed alot,i know it is only my fault because i put myself in the situation. Yes im not completely over MM but i have not went around him nor have i talked to him at work i am avoiding him. As far as my H situation i cant leave him i cant explain how i feel i only know at times i feel like i love him and at times i feel as though im not in love with him. During the A with MM i was not having any problems with my H we were happy,but yet i was still cheating on him,because i was not satisfied with him. I dont think i could ever tell my H what i have been doing. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Bentnotbroken you along with LucreziaBorgia and Whichwayisup are really the only few that have really helped me. You three seem very true and sincere,i know i am a easy target because of the things i say which is why i get bashed alot,i know it is only my fault because i put myself in the situation. Yes im not completely over MM but i have not went around him nor have i talked to him at work i am avoiding him. As far as my H situation i cant leave him i cant explain how i feel i only know at times i feel like i love him and at times i feel as though im not in love with him. During the A with MM i was not having any problems with my H we were happy,but yet i was still cheating on him,because i was not satisfied with him. I dont think i could ever tell my H what i have been doing. You are crazy!!?!?!? How you gonna say something , then clearly contradict yourself on what you said? Are you that Fogged out!? You cant leave your husband because he has the money and he's your sadety net, bottom line. You crave validation and sex from other men because your loose! your trifling. Bottom line is your a woman enough to have an affari, be woman enough to admit it. Why not? What you got to loose? Your a real woman right? Your not a coward right? Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Bentnotbroken you along with LucreziaBorgia and Whichwayisup are really the only few that have really helped me. You three seem very true and sincere,i know i am a easy target because of the things i say which is why i get bashed alot,i know it is only my fault because i put myself in the situation. Yes im not completely over MM but i have not went around him nor have i talked to him at work i am avoiding him. As far as my H situation i cant leave him i cant explain how i feel i only know at times i feel like i love him and at times i feel as though im not in love with him. During the A with MM i was not having any problems with my H we were happy,but yet i was still cheating on him,because i was not satisfied with him. I dont think i could ever tell my H what i have been doing. You, don't have to. He will find out. You are using him as a safety net, because of your own insecurities. You are always looking for validation outside yourself. You are the only one who can say what makes you worth while in your own eyes. NO man can do that for you. Not the men you have sex with or your husband. That comes from you. It is unfair what you are doing to your husband, he does deserve someone who is fully committed to him, not just out for what is in it for them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LILA BELL Posted February 20, 2008 Author Share Posted February 20, 2008 CB of corse he is my safety net i would be lying if i said he was'nt . I know my H will always be here for me,so how is in his best interest if i tell him the truth . Can you explain to me how telling my H is best for him. Ok how am i suppose to tell him. Hey honey i have been having a A because you cant satisfy me sexually oh and BTW it was with my co-worker. I tell him that and he's going to want to confront my co-worker,if he confronts MM ,MM will tell him everything about being with me in my H truck about being with me in my SUV, MM has to much info on me he will only ruin it for me. My H knowing the truth will only hurt him,and yes he may want to leave me,why would i want that. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 CB of corse he is my safety net i would be lying if i said he was'nt . I know my H will always be here for me,so how is in his best interest if i tell him the truth . Can you explain to me how telling my H is best for him. Ok how am i suppose to tell him. Hey honey i have been having a A because you cant satisfy me sexually oh and BTW it was with my co-worker. I tell him that and he's going to want to confront my co-worker,if he confronts MM ,MM will tell him everything about being with me in my H truck about being with me in my SUV, MM has to much info on me he will only ruin it for me. My H knowing the truth will only hurt him,and yes he may want to leave me,why would i want that. It is only about YOU, admit it. You don't care if your H gets hurt. Cause if the MM would have you, you would hurt your H faster than a fart can stink up a room. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LILA BELL Posted February 20, 2008 Author Share Posted February 20, 2008 It is not only about me ,true before i can help my H and tell him the truth i need to help myself ,how can i help my H if i cant even help myself. I will admit im not over MM but i havent bothered him either. Honestly in a perfect world i would have never wanted to cheat i would have never hurt my family . But we dont live in a perfect world and i have done to much to come clean. My H will probably want a divorce,and im not sure i want him out of my life he is a great father to my kids he does alot for me . My H has alot of trust in me it may sound bad ,but i think thats why its so easy to cheat because i know i can get away with it . I know i have been making myself seem like the victim i know im selfesh everyone who cheats is selfesh i know i seem like a horrible person i do feel bad for the things i have done. I just dont understand why MM has such a hold on me its not as strong as it once was but it is still there. I have been looking for post about how long it takes for ow/om get over their A with MM/MW but i have not had any luck . Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 Can't help you there, but the stats on bs is anywhere from 1-5 years. Sad huh? Link to post Share on other sites
Author LILA BELL Posted February 20, 2008 Author Share Posted February 20, 2008 1-5 yrs for what ? That my H will find out and leave me? Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 For a BS to heal from the betrayel. He'll find out long before 5 years. Link to post Share on other sites
Arch Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 lol he probably already knows but he doesn't know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LILA BELL Posted February 20, 2008 Author Share Posted February 20, 2008 No there is noway my H knows of the A . My H has always been a very nice quiet guy i make all the choices,he gives me alot of space,but i know if he knew i was cheating that isnt something he would put up with. Im not even sure i would be able to convince him to even give me a second chance,i hope he would give me another chance. That is along time 1-5 yrs in a bs recovering from a A i dint think about that til now. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 No there is noway my H knows of the A . My H has always been a very nice quiet guy i make all the choices,he gives me alot of space,but i know if he knew i was cheating that isnt something he would put up with. Im not even sure i would be able to convince him to even give me a second chance,i hope he would give me another chance. That is along time 1-5 yrs in a bs recovering from a A i dint think about that til now. Trust me. I am a pretty nice guy in person lila. but when push comes to shove. I will turn into a freaking lion and will do everything in my power to destroy someone who lies and betrays me. No matter the cost! Do not be so stupid to think you wont get caught, because you will. Either guilt will get you, you let it slip. Or one day the OM comes to see your husband personally and gives him proof. You are a coward and is using your husbands trust as a means of fulfilling your own debauchery! that's some bull****. If you want to play, you gotta pay. In one way or another. Just come clean with him, and tell himt the truth, because if and when he finds out down the line, he will not forgive you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LILA BELL Posted February 20, 2008 Author Share Posted February 20, 2008 So What You Are Saying Is He Would Be More Forgiving If I Came Clean To Him Rather Then Him Finding Out Yr's From Now Or From Someone Else. Im Not A Coward Im Just Trying To Keep My Family Together. Link to post Share on other sites
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