stbx2007 Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 (edited) I filed for divorce in November 2006. My first lawyer was not helpful so I found another I thought would be. After starting off with a bang he lost steam when my stbx fired his lawyer and won't respond. It is now 14 months into this and I want to know what I can do to move this on. My lawyer says he is going to go forward with the divorce without my spouse's cooperation. We have two children who are 18 (physically disabled) and 20 (still living at home). I work in the real estate field and looking for other sources of income that are flexible. My spouse resents the fact that I am not pulling in the bacon and working a 9-5 job. He knows the care situation we have with our child. It seems to me that he is just resentful that he has any responsibility. He has never taken the kids out in their lives. He manages to find work that takes him out of town for days or even months at a time. He is holding me hostage here with this divorce. I want out. I want him out and I want as much as I can get after putting up with his narcissistic, selfish *ss for 22 years. I've given my lawyer everything I can think of (what I want, financial information etc.) I am sick of this. I don't have enough money to pay a 3rd lawyer and I don't think I need to. At this point I can do what they're doing. Nothing. I understand lawyers make their money dragging things out but I'm not interested in that. I want out. I know how to walk paperwork through red tape and I need to know if anyone else has done it. This is ridiculous. Edited January 20, 2008 by stbx2007 add more Link to post Share on other sites
redgirl688 Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 I don't know what state you live in but you can file your own divorce papers for the cost of court filing (generally between $60 and $90) in most states. Problem is most people who do it have an amicable divorce and are able to settle everything themselves without the need for an attorney. If you do this without your husbands' cooperation you will be leaving the decision of how your assets are to be split totally up to the Judge - and this could go well for you.......or not. Most of the time when this happens the Judge just splits everything down the middle. Questions arise in the expectation of alimony. You've been married a long time, you should be able to get some depending on how much money your husband makes. Additionally you would want to be sure that your disabled child is provided for. What you probably won't get out of this Judge are the "extras" that an attorney can negotiate - Life insurance policies, health insurance, college tuition etc. You also could get stuck with some accumulated debt that isn't yours (i.e. if your husband has run up credit cards you dont' know about). I don't understand why your attorney has been lagging on this. After giving your husband sufficient time to find representation he could have served HIM papers anyway. If lack of an attorney negated the legal process we would not have a court system. I think I would put the screws to the attorney - get an accounting of how he has spent time (your money) and tell him to get off his *ss and get to work. Your attorney can also make sure you don't end up in any detrimental financial situations that often happen in divorce concerning sale of property. Hope this helps you and good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 I was wondering the same thing- why hasn't your husband been served? The lawyer should be on top of this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stbx2007 Posted January 27, 2008 Author Share Posted January 27, 2008 I don't know what state you live in but you can file your own divorce papers for the cost of court filing (generally between $60 and $90) in most states. Problem is most people who do it have an amicable divorce and are able to settle everything themselves without the need for an attorney. If you do this without your husbands' cooperation you will be leaving the decision of how your assets are to be split totally up to the Judge - and this could go well for you.......or not. Most of the time when this happens the Judge just splits everything down the middle. Questions arise in the expectation of alimony. You've been married a long time, you should be able to get some depending on how much money your husband makes. Additionally you would want to be sure that your disabled child is provided for. What you probably won't get out of this Judge are the "extras" that an attorney can negotiate - Life insurance policies, health insurance, college tuition etc. You also could get stuck with some accumulated debt that isn't yours (i.e. if your husband has run up credit cards you dont' know about). I don't understand why your attorney has been lagging on this. After giving your husband sufficient time to find representation he could have served HIM papers anyway. If lack of an attorney negated the legal process we would not have a court system. I think I would put the screws to the attorney - get an accounting of how he has spent time (your money) and tell him to get off his *ss and get to work. Your attorney can also make sure you don't end up in any detrimental financial situations that often happen in divorce concerning sale of property. Hope this helps you and good luck. Thanks. I just don't know why my attorney is so slow. I've called (usually once every 2 months) and he is in court and doesn't return my call. I don't want to have to get another one. This is the second one. I am not getting a good feeling about attorneys in this town. We're just a middle class family and it shouldn't be this hard. He told me to be patient when I first signed with him but I think this is stretching it. Link to post Share on other sites
JasminT Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 There are a lot of helpful resources for handling your own divorce. You can find a lot of great articles on The Modern Woman's Divorce Guide - http://themodernwomansdivorceguide.com If your husband is already being EXTREMELY difficult, however, representing yourself probably won't be easy and could be risky. If you call your State Bar Association Referral Services you might be able to schedule low cost consultations with other lawyers who can give you their take on things. It's good to get several opinions and work with a lawyer who doesn't drag his or her feet and gets the job done. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
StillSame Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 If your lawyer is avoiding you, doesn't return your call, AND unreasonably delaying the divorce process, you can possibly report him to the Bar. He can get into serious trouble if he got reported. Link to post Share on other sites
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