klee Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 Hi everyone. This is my first post here. I need help! Last semester, I ended up having a serious crush on one of my TAs. We ended up going out over winter break, before the holidays, and we slept together. Not my proudest moment, but we had been drinking and I had some serious lust goin' on. Apparently, so did he because it was HOT. And WILD. (OH my, I get flushed just thinking about it!) Anyways, he went home for the holidays. We decided that we would just talk when he gets back as he was traveling home to Europe. Well, he called me yesterday. He left a message saying that he got my text (I texted a few days ago saying that I missed seeing him in class almost everyday) and that he was calling because he wanted to hang out again. I didn't answer the phone because I was paralyzed with fear. I normally don't have a problem talking to guys, but I really get flustered thinking about him. I really like him. I called him back this evening, and he said he just got back yesterday afternoon and that he was not used to the time change yet, so he was sleepy. The conversation was a little strange. I asked him when he wanted to hang out again, and he said, "how do you want to hang out?" I basically said, well, coffee or something? And he kinda hesitated before he said, "yeah, well, you know, we'll get coffee, and then a couple of beers, and then you know..." So I said, point blank, "Are you thinking that we will **** again?" He kinda stammered and said he didn't know what I was talking about. We ended the phone call about 5 seconds later, as he just said since he couldn't form a coherent sentence, he needed to go back to bed. Whaaat? Um, what does that mean? Am I reading too much into this? As far as I know, he had just as good a time as me. Sure as hell sounded and looked like it! And he clearly stated yesterday that he wanted to hang again, so what is with the ambivalence? Do you think I set myself up for failure by doin' it so early on? What should I do next? I feel kinda like he is having doubts, and I don't want to scare him off. Should I wait to see if he calls me again? Any thoughts would be much appreciated. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 I say this with kindness so don't cry, tell your brain to shut up and stop scaring you half to death with all the scenarios your comming up with and just go with it babe Link to post Share on other sites
Author klee Posted January 21, 2008 Author Share Posted January 21, 2008 I will try KMT, thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 Guy wants sex... figures he can get it from you easily. I wouldn't hold your breath for anything other than a physical relationship here. Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 Basically, once you sleep with a guy, if you take that away, it weirds us out. All is not lost tho. Based on your conversation, he thinks that you guys are NOT going to hook up again. He thinks you've already ruled that out completely. Tread carefully. You want a relationship, am I correct? But you can't tell him that too soon or you'll scare him off. Hang out with him again and ask about past relationships and that kind of thing. Just go on the date and see what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 Afterthought - on the plus side, he knows exactly what he would be missing out on, and if he likes you, he knows waiting for a bit will be worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
Leia Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 There's a reason why some people don't get drunk on a first date/party.... for fear of something like this to happen. You're lucky he still finds you interesting! Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 If he didn't like you he probably wouldn't have hung out with you in the first place. I think you're worrying too much. Link to post Share on other sites
Leia Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 If he didn't like you he probably wouldn't have hung out with you in the first place. I think you're worrying too much. Yip and really, don't over analyze every single little thing. Worrying too much is not good for you... Link to post Share on other sites
Author klee Posted January 21, 2008 Author Share Posted January 21, 2008 Basically, once you sleep with a guy, if you take that away, it weirds us out. All is not lost tho. Based on your conversation, he thinks that you guys are NOT going to hook up again. He thinks you've already ruled that out completely. Tread carefully. You want a relationship, am I correct? But you can't tell him that too soon or you'll scare him off. Hang out with him again and ask about past relationships and that kind of thing. Just go on the date and see what happens. Thanks, Phateless. I just got the feeling that he (all of a sudden--by the end of the conversation) changed his mind...and I freaked out. I am not sure if I should call him in a couple of days, or just wait and see if he calls me again? He ended the call before we actually got to make plans for anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Author klee Posted January 21, 2008 Author Share Posted January 21, 2008 There's a reason why some people don't get drunk on a first date/party.... for fear of something like this to happen. You're lucky he still finds you interesting! OUCH! Ya think? Now am I just a big slut or something? It is not like I had just met him that day... Link to post Share on other sites
melodymatters Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 Whatever, the past is the past, you can't change it now. But my rule for the early stages of relationships or dating is to let the guy do the pursuing. So yeah, wait for him to call. Link to post Share on other sites
corazoncito Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 I asked him when he wanted to hang out again, and he said, "how do you want to hang out?" I basically said, well, coffee or something? And he kinda hesitated before he said, "yeah, well, you know, we'll get coffee, and then a couple of beers, and then you know..." So I said, point blank, "Are you thinking that we will **** again?" He kinda stammered and said he didn't know what I was talking about. We ended the phone call about 5 seconds later, as he just said since he couldn't form a coherent sentence, he needed to go back to bed. Whaaat? Um, what does that mean? Am I reading too much into this? From this it sounds like he was assuming you wanted hang out to have more sex. It got awkward when he realized that wasn't what you were talking about. It doesn't come across like he's interested in a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author klee Posted January 21, 2008 Author Share Posted January 21, 2008 yeah, melodymatters, that is what I was leaning toward, myself. Thanks! and corazoncito--yeah, I guess I wasn't looking at it that way. Duh, of course he wants more booty. It was a blast! :bunny: hmmmm. I still feel uncomfortable, but that is just fear of the unknown, I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 The longer you wait to call him, the more awkward it's going to be. It sounds like he's feeling uncomfortable too, which means he probably won't call. I think waiting for him to call is a bad idea. Why is it always the guy's job to do the pursuing? Double standard. Stupid... Link to post Share on other sites
Author klee Posted January 21, 2008 Author Share Posted January 21, 2008 The longer you wait to call him, the more awkward it's going to be. It sounds like he's feeling uncomfortable too, which means he probably won't call. I think waiting for him to call is a bad idea. Why is it always the guy's job to do the pursuing? Double standard. Stupid... duly noted, Phateless. Thank you for your view point. I appreciate it! Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 You might not like hearing this but he thinks your * easy * Translation : Easy to sleep with. Can you get back the respect. ? I doubt it . He got you on the first night. Challenge is over. Persuing should be done by him. He wants something he can work for , not something that is planted in his lap at his beck and call. You can't undo what happened. You can't make him want a relationship. You can't CALL him ( big no no ) and be suggestive of hanging out. He knows he's got you now and he will do what he will when he pleases. Future lesson. * if * you are looking for something serious , the guy WILL wait for it to be something special. If he is looking for a quick lay , he is going to call you , very sorry but true. Link to post Share on other sites
BlueEyedGirl Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 He only wants sex girl. Sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Author klee Posted January 22, 2008 Author Share Posted January 22, 2008 yes, mary3, blueeyedgirl, y'all are right. thanks for your repsonses. i am moving on now, not gonna waste anymore time thinking about it! Link to post Share on other sites
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