questone Posted June 20, 2003 Share Posted June 20, 2003 I'm stuck in a dating rut. I'm a 25-year-old female and I need some advice. I have been doing online dating for about nine months and I have not gotten past the one date mark except with one guy. And that lasted only three dates. I have dated at least 6 or 7 guys in that time and everyone of them has not called me back after the first date. Even the ones who said they would. I'm not bragging but I'm seen as very attractive by many guys. And I think I have a good personality. What gives? Am I boring? Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted June 20, 2003 Share Posted June 20, 2003 Hmmm...I hestitate to say you are doing something "wrong" per se, but if you've been out with 6 or 7 guys and only one has called again, it seems like maybe there is something you could be doing differently. (Obviously there are always those who don't call again, but if they've already seen your picture online and you've exchanged a few e-mails and/or talked on the phone before meeting it seems kind of odd that nearly all of them would never call again after one date.) In your opinion how did the first dates go? Did you want them to call you again? Did they seem interested? Did you hit it off with them? What did the first dates entail (dinner, coffee, drinks, movie)? Is there anything you felt like you did that might've turned them off? Link to post Share on other sites
Author questone Posted June 20, 2003 Author Share Posted June 20, 2003 For most of them, the first dates went fine. I must admit there were a few that I was not particularly attracted to but I try not to let looks steer me. I think once you get to know someone you can become more attracted to them b/c of their personality. They seemed interested in me which confuses me. Most of the dates were dinner or lunch and some were a movie. I can't come up with any reason they wouldn't want to continue to see me except maybe I am just a boring person. I'm very shy but I can hold up my end of the convo. Many people just don't like shy people. Link to post Share on other sites
Gray Posted June 20, 2003 Share Posted June 20, 2003 So true; it is hard for shy people. Ok, now. I'm gonna talk here, i might be harsh but hopefully not. You say you're attractive and I'll believe you on that. But thats the first thing that i think of, they meet you and aren't attracted to you physically. But if you're getting compliments then we'll scratch that off. Now you're saying the dates went well right? If it was full of awkward pauses and "Sooo, have you seen any good movies lately?" then maybe you guys just didn't hit it off. But you're saying they went fine. Is it a reputable dating site? I'm thinking maybe some guys were like "Hmm she's going out with me. Maybe I can get laid on the first date." And, assuming you didn't put out, they were done trying once it was over. But I'd think you'd be able to pick up on that from them. So other than that I'm at a loss... maybe it was just a matter of the chemistry wasn't there for 'em. I wish you lived closer to DC, I have two great friends I could hook you up with. Ones outgoing and would 100% draw you out of your shell. And the others more reserved, a sweetheart if ya will. On an upnote, i met my current gf thru a dating site. I never would've believed in them, if I hadn't have met her. So they do work, keep trying as long as you're not sick of it. Good luck cutie! Link to post Share on other sites
Author questone Posted June 24, 2003 Author Share Posted June 24, 2003 Thanks for the encouragement, Gray. I think it is the lack of chemistry thing. I just need to be patient in finding someone I actually do have chemistry with. (Like looking for a needle in a haystack). By the way, I went to school in D.C. and I'm down there alot so don't hesitate to hook me up. Link to post Share on other sites
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