InferiorityComplex Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 (edited) I've made some posts to Loveshack, but this is my first thread. And I'm sure I'll get plenty of opinions on the matter. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years now. We are very happy and recently purchased a house together that we live in now. We are both only 20 and have an unspoken knowledge that we will get engaged when the moment is right. Well, my whole life I have found women attractive. I would not consider myself bisexual, I wouldn't want to have a relationship with a woman. I just find the curves very sexy and attractive. Well I have always wondered what it would be like to experience a women, as I have no desire to experience another man. (I have all the man I need in my boyfriend) We lost our virginity to eachother, and he is always looking at girls (he's a guy who can blame him) and I always play along smiling "Oh yeah her boobs are great!" Telling him if Christina Richie or Angelina Jolie walked into our room I'd be on them like white on rice. (Depending on the rice LOL) Well my actual reason for posting this, I think I would like to experiment with a women...but not only that....I want to include my boyfriend. So yes, I want to have a threesome. I believe my boyfriend and I are very confident in our love for eachother...and I trust him with all of my heart. I truly believe that he would not commit any infidelity being the person he is right now. Has anyone else had a threesome? How do I go about picking up some pretty girl? (Keep in mind we can't drink or buy alcohol yet) Has anyone had a threesome and it had ill effects on their relationship? (My idea was that my boyfriend would come home from work and see two naked girls on the couch grabbing each others boobs and looking at him....) To any of the guys out there....would that be a good surprise after a day at work? Thanks everyone in advance for your responses Edited January 21, 2008 by InferiorityComplex Title Change Link to post Share on other sites
klee Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 I think if you really care about this guy and want to get married, don't do it. It could be fun but someone might get hurt, and it could be you. I don't want to get too detailed about my own adventures, but it has been in my experience that someone is going to get hurt. In my case, I was the third party, but the guy in the situation used this experience to cheat on his girlfriend not only with me but others as well. (I hope I don't get flamed for that, it was a long time ago, I am sorry for it and I would never be the OW now.) He figured that she asked him to sleep with chicks, so as long as he was with one of her "approved" lovers (ie: some girl they had already been with together), then he could do it even without her. Weird. And that couple went into this with the same mindset...."we have a great relationship, we love each other so, this will be fun, yadi yadi yadi...." Just think long and hard about doing this. You could risk your relationship. Is it worth it to you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author InferiorityComplex Posted January 21, 2008 Author Share Posted January 21, 2008 For some reason I go back and forth of whether or not I think I would be hurt by this. I have told him time and time again that he can sleep with another girl as long as he let's me know he's interested in advance and she gets tested to be sure she's clean. I don't necessarily feel badly, but I think I have deprived him of his chance to experience others. I love him and I want him to go into marriage someday without any regrets or resentments. I just don't know...I am interested...but he never let's on that it's what he really wants. We have talked about a threesome before and he said he would like it...but then he says he doesn't want to have one because he doesn't want to hurt my feelings. Isn't there a way to go into it and sort of turn a blind eye to the matter at hand? Just one hot sexual steamy night? Link to post Share on other sites
klee Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 Well, IMHO, I wouldn't do it if you really want to marry this guy. I also wouldn't just announce to the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, yeah, go ahead and sleep with other hot chicks, just get tested!! pffftt. yeah right. Think about it! Would you really be ok with that if he took you up on that offer??? This is supposedly the man you want to marry! Are you really even sure you want to be with him FOREVER if you think you can bring a third party into your relationship so nonchalantly? Trust as you know it now could change after this (either via threesome OR by giving him permission to have sex with others). Maybe you need to take some time to sow some wild oats? But, you know, if you really feel like this is something you could blow off, or take lightly, then, by all means, have fun. But BE CAREFUL. Sorry if this is harsh. I don't mean to be mean, just givin' my 2 cents. Link to post Share on other sites
Author InferiorityComplex Posted January 21, 2008 Author Share Posted January 21, 2008 I really do love him...after almost 4 years we really have built a life together. Talked about having children someday and getting married when the time is right. I don't feel the need to be with any other guys, I'm just not interested. And I truly believe that he isn't interested in other girls. Well...I mean I know he's interested, because he always tells me if he sees a pretty girl, but he always reassures me before I have a chance to feel uncomfortable that he loves me and would never do anything to jeopardize what we have together. And for that I am truly grateful, because he respects me and cares about me so much, and the same is true on how I feel for him. He is my everything and I don't want to do anything to ruin our relationship. Maybe I'm just thinking that it would be a nice thing to do for him...like a nice surprise or a present. Any other responses are much appreciated! Link to post Share on other sites
Author InferiorityComplex Posted January 22, 2008 Author Share Posted January 22, 2008 Has anyone else dealt with this issue? I am going back and forth in my head on whether it's an ok thing to do or not. Has anyone had a threesome in a relationship without any bad effects? Link to post Share on other sites
Trecherized Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 my ex and i talked about that around the same time and age that you guys are in now. we were together for 4 years and i was also 20. it sounded nice to me but i told her i would want one if it was two of her. a little weird but true. we also talked about marriage and kids as well. i guess all im really trying to say is don't do it. it's too risky and by no means am i doubting your bf but a guy is a guy. i may have been tempted to cheat after if we would've gone through with it and that's why i said no. i say keep it between you two, keep it clean. Link to post Share on other sites
MakeLemonade Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 This could SO easily backfire on you - I understand wanting to experiment, especially since your BF is the only one you have had, but it could very easily lead to wanting to do it again and again, be either him or you. And have you thought about how you would feel if he really enjoys it, what it would be like to see him thoroughly enjoying another woman when he is the only one you have ever had? It could be pretty powerful emotionally. REALLY weigh this in your head. I have thought of doing the same thing, but I am older and married for several years, but my H is almost 40 and I have actually considered a similar scenario for his b-day this year. In theory, it would be his best gift evah - but in reality the emotional variables make it NOT WORTH the possibility of screwing up our relationship. Adding another person into the mix, regardless of intention can be the end of even the strongest of relationships if one or the other reacts badly or if things don't go quite the way you imagine or plan them to be. I am not saying don't do it, just really THINK VERY HARD about the possible outcomes and consequences and make you are ready for whatever they might be before you go though with it. If all goes well it could be a night you will never forget, in a very good way - if not, well you will never forget it but certainly not for the right reasons. Link to post Share on other sites
swordfish01 Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 I couldn't do it. Is this what you really want? You could hurt him or he could hurt you in the end. What if you two like it to much? Scary. Let me know how it turns out. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucasarts Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 I'll be the first one to say: Do it. It's every guy's fantasy (or pretty much every guy) to have a threesome (w/ 2 chicks). Your boyfriend is being very sincere to your feelings and doesn't want to really pursue it b/c of the potential disaster that could occur (jealousy over the other girl). However, if the girl is the one to really initiate it and is eager to really pursue this venture, then I don't see the problem. Honestly, if you're curious, then why not? you're still young and when you're married, having a threesome is alot harder and potentially more volatile b/c the relationship is much more serious and committed. Besides, if you think it might make u uncomfortable then just stop, your boyfriend should understand and that'll be fine. Your relationship to each other seems a lot more relaxed, and you don't seem like the jealous type at all (I've never had a girlfriend who'd let me sleep with other girls) which makes the possibility of a threesome more likely and possibly fun. If you really are interested in the idea, then just have fun with it. It is ultimately your decision to make. That is what is the most important thing to keep in mind. Link to post Share on other sites
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