Why is Marriage so Important, common-in-law has same legal weight

[whichwayisup]

Okay, I'm having a blonde/seniors moment here...Refresh my memory. So you two did not have an affair while she was still married. She was legally separated the whole time? Sorry Oyster..

[Tripper]

I fear that once married, I will be locked at home like my other guy friends. Can't meet up with your buddy's for coffee/beer/late snack, controling who I can see or not.

 

 

Indulge me here, but how would this be different in a committed common law marriage??

[oyster]

She decided to go out on a date with another men tonight because I can't commit to marrying her.

[whichwayisup]

That's bullshTT! Real crappy of her to do that to you and play a game like that.

 

She shouldn't even be THINKING marriage right now as you two need to BE a normal couple and build up to that.

[norajane]

As I recall, she is 7 years older than you and she was worried you would dump her for someone younger if she left her husband for you?

 

I'm guessing that's why she feels tricked - she's left her marriage and now you're waffling on the commitment to her. She isn't so sure that you are willing to stick around for the long term, so she's going to start dating and see if she can meet someone who also wants what she wants.

 

You may not get it, but people do see marriage as the intention and decision to commit to a lifetime partnership. Anything short of that does not equal commitment to them. It appears this woman see it that way.

 

But if your affair didn't last for a long time (don't know how long it was), then it may be too soon to make that kind of decision on marriage. Ask her to give your relationship some time - after all, you did give her time to decide to leave her husband and file for divorce.