If we just broke up it would be easier!

[antimaggie]

Okay, so I've been dating the same guy for quite a long time when a few weeks ago I find out he was cheating on me. We've been through a lot together and I was completely "my whole life flipped around" shocked when I found out.

 

I told him that all he had to do was say he didn't want to be in this relationship anymore and I would be fine but he didn't. He said that he still loves me and he wants to "work things out." He called the other girl and told her that he was sorry for lying to her (He had told her he was single) and that was that.

 

Problem is, although I've tried very hard to move along with my life I still carry around this baggage of hatred towards him. I really wanted him to just break up with me because I knew I lost all trust in him. But no. He still wants to try. So I try to move on but to no avail.

 

In short, I think I hate him.

 

But I want to let him try because I know that I used to love him. Maybe it just needs time.

 

But also, today he really pissed me off because he's starting to think he doesn't need to grovel anymore. He actually had the balls to get in an argument with me.

 

That really made me mad and i screamed at him in public. I'm not like this, honestly. I'm a very nice person usually and I go to church and have friends and I'm not this Rasputia-like beast woman who likes to nag her husband/boyfriend to death.

 

I just really think he owes me if I'm going to stay in this relationship. And if he doesn't think he owes me then I don't want to even try.

 

Anyways, I don't know what to do.

[SeraBella]

It would be easier if you broke up. And you don't trust him. And you hate him. So what is stopping you from ending it?

 

If you're going to try to have a relationship, you can't expect him to just keep on doing things and grovel for you to make up for it. You have to forgive it and try to look past it. And he needs to do whatever you think will earn your trust back.

 

But is groveling going to do the trick? I doubt it. It sounds like you're just trying to get some sort of payback. Sure, it may feel good for a minute, but it's not helping you get over this, really.

 

It really sounds like you need to end it. By ending it, at least you can help yourself by starting the healing process. Staying will just prolong the pain.