Author Leia Posted January 30, 2008 Author Share Posted January 30, 2008 If a single guy had come along and made me feel the way MM does, I would surely have chosen that over this situation. Maybe MMen have more confidence or more drive to approach women because they can't have them? I don't know, but I can't see myself with anyone else now. Thank you for responding to my thread. Like I have stated earlier on my thread, there are few situations that I can understand. Such as not knowing in the beginning. I do think MM have more confidence but I have always met those single guys that are just as confident. So you're still with MM? I'm single now because I am not ready to commit myself to any guy. I have been with a few attached men, not knowing in the beginning that they are so it makes me think twice alot of times now whenever a guy asks me out. I hate the idea of having to check up on them to find out if they are really single as they claim they are and all that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leia Posted January 30, 2008 Author Share Posted January 30, 2008 Word...I felt like absolute crap after walking away, and I don't think I was as involved as some people on here so could only imagine what they would go through. The first couple of weeks were terrible. But even though I still think about him a lot, the hurt is really starting to fade away and I feel stronger, happier and more in control everyday. It was the ambiguity of the entire thing that was stuffing me around. Now that is out of the way, I can go on enjoying MY life without any 'What Ifs?' hanging over my head. Good for you, mzd! It is not easy in the beginning but the hurt and pain will go away. You should enjoy your life now! More than ever! Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 I fell in love with a man who swept me off my feet- two months into the relationship I found out he was married. I was devastated. He had a whole facade going on- sep apartment, secret cell phone, etc. I never had a clue until his wife found his phone and called me. The hardest thing to do was to walk away from him, because I really loved him. I didn't stay with him because I wanted to get married and have a baby and I knew that it could never progress to that with him. After hearing his wife's voice and feeling her pain- I felt so horrible. I think they are still together.... but I never spoke to him again after that. My ex husband also had an affair and got another woman pregnant and I walked away from him too. I make no judgements about people, despite my bad experiences. That was my personal choice to make, and unique to my situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 u know what I just relized, You never had kids... or I've never heard u mention them Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 u know what I just relized, You never had kids... or I've never heard u mention them Nope, I have no children. I have two dogs which I got custody of in the divorce. I am still open to the possibility.... but my age is getting up there. lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 Nope, I have no children. I have two dogs which I got custody of in the divorce. I am still open to the possibility.... but my age is getting up there. lol. Dlish your so hot, I got scared when I read two children, then happy when I saw they were dogs! Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 Dlish your so hot, I got scared when I read two children, then happy when I saw they were dogs! lol. Yep- only dogs. Thanks for the compliment. We are going to get in trouble for going off topic. lol. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 I make no judgements about people, despite my bad experiences. That was my personal choice to make, and unique to my situation. I must say I am very impressed with your character and sincerely wish the best for you. I'll check out your other threads and posts. Link to post Share on other sites
hippyvic Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 I firmly believe that there is no reason for cheating. If you are with someone but decide to embark on an affair with someone else, it is just cowardice and you shou,d have the guts to end it before you see anybody else. If it is down to being drunk, then maybe we need to look into the society we live in where it is normal to go out, get drunk, end up in bed with someone then forget what happened. I think you should be with one person and one person alone. And as for married people having an affair, there is no excuse. It hurts people, it breaks up families and it ruins lives!!! Link to post Share on other sites
jaslene2009 Posted February 1, 2008 Share Posted February 1, 2008 Since I am one of those people you are talking about who cheat on their spouse, I will explain why I did it. First, all of I got married when I really didn't know myself. I was not ready to be responsible for some else's emotions. I tried talking to my H about it and he refuses to see that we could be great friends apart. However, he wants to continue being in the marriage. For me, I had to date someone that had just as much to lose as I did. Because, when we had to end it, I did not want him to make me chose. You are right! There are single men and woman out there that we could date. However, most of them don't have the family or the long term relationship experience. Therefore, they don't understand alot of what has to happen in our every day lives. Believe me dating a MM is never easy for anyone. If he decides to get a divorce, there is the emotional and financial truama that comes during and after the divorce and the same for the MW. In closing, We should be clear about out postions as husbands and wives, but once you get involved and the children, investments start happening, not alot options are left. You just make sure that you stand clear of this and learn from US. Get married when you are ready and not when everyone else expects you too! I would get more answers here, probably coz this is the most frequented board... I noticed recently (could be coz I haven't been here that long) that new threads on cheating, OW/OM or infidelity being posted here on Loveshack. It got me thinking... for those who are "seeing" married people, isn't there any single man/woman for you to pursue? I can understand those who got into it not knowing that the married party is married but how about those who knew and still went for it? I'm really trying to understand from your point of view. I know it's not ok but I fail to understand the whole thing. As for those who are cheating on their wives or husbands, why cheat with another married person? Coz it's easier? Safer? I think it's safer to go for a single guy or girl or am I wrong? I read so often here that some stay for the kids but are you really? Or is that just some lame excuse? My aunt was cheated on by her sorry excuse of a husband and ex-husband didn't even bother staying for the kids. So what's the difference? My aunt's ex-husband did not love her that much after all? Or his kids? I don't condone anyone to cheat coz I saw what that did to my aunt. She was extremely hurt by it. She's happier than ever now, to be honest but I still don't think she can ever heal from the pain her ex-husband caused her. Link to post Share on other sites
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