have no clue! does this friend have feelings for me?

[trueluV]

There is one guy friend who I've been having crush on for a year since I first met him, and I don't know how he feels about me. We do flirt and he asks me all the time if I found a guy I'm interested in, but it's more like joking, but at the same time he always encourages me and cares about me a lot as well. He is like a really good guy friend to me, who I have a crush on.

 

One day we hung out watching movie at his place and without any notice or hint from him, he started kissing me, and it led to sleeping together. It was quite a surprise for me, but since I had feelings for him, I couldn't resist even though it was somehow risking the good friendship with him.

I slept over at his place that day next to him, and he was holding me and kissing me on my forehead and holding my hands the whole time-like a real boyfriend. I heard FWB or one night stands are not like that. Even the next day I woke up, he was like that to me.

 

Well, after that day, my feelings for him grew dramatically and I started to like him even more, but of course I know I shouldn't scare him off, so I kept it to myself. But, I didn't want to be awkward with him suddenly, so I called him a week later and he told me to come over to his place. But when I got there, he was busy finishing up on his work and was in no mood for anything else with me. So I apologized, but he said no problem, but told me he has to work, so anyway I left his place feeling a bit rejected. He didn't mention anything about last time nor tried to make any move on me.

I got so confused.

 

Now a month has passed, without seeing him, so I emailed him addressing I just want friendship with him and not looking for something more, because I know he doesn't want to have a relationship now. And the same day he replied saying he was really busy with work and I misunderstood, and told me let's meet soon.

I didn't reply yet, because I still didn't want to send a wrong message to him and wanted him to feel comfortable with me again. So now, I am sort of waiting from his side.

 

I don't know how he feels about me at all. I think he had a slight interest in me as well, or he figured I like him? Or he is a guy so he slept with me, but don't want a relationship and distancing now?

It's so confusing for me, because he was one of those "good" guy friends to me, but why did he make the first move and slept with me, and leave me like this? But then, he replied to my email the same day giving his excuses, so how should I interpret all this?

 

What should I do? Just wait for him? And what do you think he is thinking?

I know this is a funny question, but please, if any of you had a similar situation or have any ideas, I would appreciate sharing your thoughts with me.

 

I try to just forget about the whole thing that happened between us and tell myself give time so we can be friends again like before, but then, I can't get him out of my head. Is there a slight chance this could develop into something more, or should I just try to forget about all this...?

 

please help me!

 

Thank you so much in advance.

[Poboy]

well you slept with him and now both are clueless as to what to do or atleast you are. meet & talk to him and let him know how you feel and what you want with all this and ask him the same. depending on his response , you take it from there.

if he can sleep with you , he would have talked about all this by now if he was interested.

[leedean81]

i just read this article and it really hit home with me. i am in a similar situation myself. don't know if it will help but it might be worth a read.

 

http://www.peoplejam.com/node/3941

[trueluV]

So, a few days ago he text me and asked how I am doing and if things are fine, and it was first time for him to text me first (he is the one who would reply) so I got quite happy, but at the same time I didn't want to sound like I was waiting for him, I replied to him in a very neutral tone, and he didn't reply back. I felt a bit sorry for replying that way, so two days later I text him to meet for a drink and he replied he has work to do that night so he can't.

 

I haven't seen him for a month now, which feels like he is avoiding me somehow. but then, I thought I gave him a clear message I am not expecting more than friends, and he knows it too.

I tried to keep it cool with him, cuz I don't want to fall for him more so I wasn't really contacting him nor asking to meet and gave a bit of distance, and then he text me, and I was kind of cold to him, and so was he later on.

 

This is so confusing and weird.

[never4ever]

First of all i am pleased that i discovered this site. Second that i am glad that I clicked on this topic. 3rd of all, i have the same situation. I hope you won't mind that i put my case under your thread. I am having a crush on one of my work mate. We are also closed friends. He is really mature and not an emotional person. Once we had a talk about our relationship and he told me that he really like me and his feeling is growing for me. But he only wants to be friend but not FWB. I agreed to be friends since I don’t want to make him uncomfortable as well as does not want to have relationship with someone that does not willing to have a relationship with me.

One day we hung out watching movie at my room and he started kissing me. It was quite surprise for me since he is the one that requested to be just friend. I had feeling for him, I could not resist it. After that day we spend more time watching movie at my place till late and he slept over my place next to me for 3-5 times. We did not go far from kissing and cuddle.

My feelings for him get stronger so I stop seeing him after work hour like we used to do. Lucky, TV in my room is broken so it’s a good excuse for not having movie night. He has asked me few times that when I am going to replace my TV. Since I want to stop my feeling grew on him, I decided not to replace TV in my room.

I try to get my feeling over him while I was on holidays for a month and planned to stop seeing him. The plan did not go well when he came visit me when i back from holidays and spent a night with me. I just have to accept that I am really attached to him. I don’t know how he feels about me. I am confused that if he still want to be only friend why he acted like he missed me for not seeing me a month? Does he change his mind and want to have more then friendship relationship with me? My friends even know that I have a strong feeling on him and they wished me to talk to him about our relationship. But I am one of those girls that whose has pride and I would not start the move even though I really like him.

 

I don't know what should i do. I am thinking to run away like move to another state just to get over him. At the same time i am afraid to lose him as its hard to find someone that I like since i am too picky with the guys. On the other hand i don't like the way of one side love. I rather give and take. What should i do? Some friends advice that i should dating someone else but i don't want to use someone just to get over him.

Edited January 30, 2008 by never4ever

[4everloveu]

I hate men like that. They give you mixed signal and take off. Either don't answer your call, text or email. Why can face to face and talk it all out. Make us women sit and wondering what going on. Just let them contact you if they still show interest. If not, just move on and don't waste your minutes on them. I have been there and done that.

[trueluV]

Thanks for your posts.

 

Yes, I think those kind of guys are so selfish!

They express interest in you, they know you like them, and then kiss you and sleep with you, which you can't really resist because you like them after all! And then they become cold and give distance.

I don't understand man's logic or mind behind it.

 

Men say women are so complicated and hard to understand,

I say same to men. They are sometimes so hard to get in situations like this especially!

 

This guy, my guy friend, so totally backed off now, I am not waiting for him since he put my pride down. But sometimes I am foolish enough to hope he will show interest in me again.

[never4ever]

In reality, it is hard to get over him especially when I have to see him everyday. Plus he is my senior so have to relay on him. Can someone please advised/suggest me how to get over him? I don’t want to change my job yet as I want to get more experience on my current job. And I think it is not wise to mix personal and professional life. I just want to get over him and continue on my job.