Cindy Posted February 12, 2000 Share Posted February 12, 2000 I would really appreciate only serious responses to this posting. I am a 28 year old professional female who is involved with a wonderful man; we have been discussing marriage. My problem is this: frequently, my fantasies involve women. I have never had a lesbian experience before, have no desire to actually have a relationship with a woman, love and am attracted very much to my boyfriend, and want a future with him. These fantasies have been going on for years, during previous relationships I have had as well. I don't know if I would actually pursue this fantasy; my boyfriend is very conservative and although I'm sure has fantasized about being with two women, or even watching me with another woman, this is not an option, even if I wanted it to be. My question is this: can one be a straight woman who has healthy, satisfying relationships with men, and still fantasize about being with a woman? Am I bi-sexual? Thanks for any serious advice that you can offer. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh Posted February 12, 2000 Share Posted February 12, 2000 Sexual fantasies are just that.....fantasies. All women have them in one form or another. Whether you think about other women, two men, orgies or even animals they are all just fantasies. I can't tell you if you are bi-sexual or not. What I can tell you is there is nothing wrong with the way you are thinking. Fantasies excite you, they are an escape from reality. Something you may never do because you just wouldn't feel comfortable. However in your own mind you have the control over what happens and just how far it goes. May I suggest looking into books by Nancy Friday....My Secret Garden, Women On Top. Books about nothing but women's sexual fantasies. I think you'll find you are one of millions of women who have a healthy fantasy life. Hope this helped. I would really appreciate only serious responses to this posting. I am a 28 year old professional female who is involved with a wonderful man; we have been discussing marriage. My problem is this: frequently, my fantasies involve women. I have never had a lesbian experience before, have no desire to actually have a relationship with a woman, love and am attracted very much to my boyfriend, and want a future with him. These fantasies have been going on for years, during previous relationships I have had as well. I don't know if I would actually pursue this fantasy; my boyfriend is very conservative and although I'm sure has fantasized about being with two women, or even watching me with another woman, this is not an option, even if I wanted it to be. My question is this: can one be a straight woman who has healthy, satisfying relationships with men, and still fantasize about being with a woman? Am I bi-sexual? Thanks for any serious advice that you can offer. Link to post Share on other sites
odyne Posted February 12, 2000 Share Posted February 12, 2000 Have you ever heard of Alfred Kinsey? His main point of study was very related to this. He developed a scale, 1-6. One side was homosexuality, one was hetero. He believed that everyone was somewhere in the middle of that scale. Meaning, it's normal for people to have feelings for their own sex. What you end up doing (or not doing) about your situation is something that you just have to figure out. Someone else recommended some books. That's always a choice, there are tons of books out there about this kind of thing. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 13, 2000 Share Posted February 13, 2000 These kinds of obsessive thoughts can come and go in many varieties and about many subjects. It is not abnormal for anyone to fantasize about relationships with the same sex. This does not make one homosexual or bisexual. It is a reflection of your intellect and curious nature. You are absolutely fine and normal. In time, these thoughts may disappear, but if they don't...worry not. They are your exclusive property. I do think, however, this is one issue you should not share with your man. Link to post Share on other sites
Shirley Posted February 20, 2000 Share Posted February 20, 2000 I would really appreciate only serious responses to this posting. I am a 28 year old professional female who is involved with a wonderful man; we have been discussing marriage. My problem is this: frequently, my fantasies involve women. I have never had a lesbian experience before, have no desire to actually have a relationship with a woman, love and am attracted very much to my boyfriend, and want a future with him. These fantasies have been going on for years, during previous relationships I have had as well. I don't know if I would actually pursue this fantasy; my boyfriend is very conservative and although I'm sure has fantasized about being with two women, or even watching me with another woman, this is not an option, even if I wanted it to be. My question is this: can one be a straight woman who has healthy, satisfying relationships with men, and still fantasize about being with a woman? Am I bi-sexual? Thanks for any serious advice that you can offer. Our minds do funny things sometimes. And you can't control what goes through your mind. Fantasizing is a natural part of anyone's life. But it doesn't mean that you want to act on your fantasies. Once you act out your fantasy, it becomes a reality. People try to act out their fantasies all of the time. But a lot of them are dissappointed afterward, because it wasn't as exciting as they thought it was going to be. Link to post Share on other sites
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