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Breaking Up


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patentmiester

I am a 40 year old male and have been envolved in this relationship for 8 years, 3 1/2 of it married. We have a little boy that is 2 1/2. My wife of 3 1/2 years moved to her sisters 26 days ago and told me that she doesn't love me anymore. We have had our share of problems over the years and one of them was my drinking. I have been sober since July 2002. I love my wife and little boy more than anything. I just need any advice that may help me save this marriage.I can tell that there is a little bit of hope still there in her eyes.

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You have given insufficient information for anyone to give you advice. Therefore, I suggest that you and your wife seek marriage counselling to see if there is common ground for reconciliation.

 

Obviously the communication is poor between you and your wife or you would know the specific reasons she left. She should be quite happy about your recent sobriety...unless you treated her better when you were snockered.

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patentmiester

My wife and me have been together for eight years, married for 3 1/2 years and she has move to here sisters and says she does not love me any more. We do have a little boy that is 2 1/2. I Love the both of them more than everything and would do anything to make this work.

 

We have had several problems in the past,My drinking,emotional abuse to wards each other and a lack of communication. I have been sober since July of 2002 and thought things were getting better. I can see that there is still an gleam in here eyes and believe that somehow we can make this work.

 

I also have two teenage stepdaughters that have also created problems because of their lack of respect and responsibility.

 

I need any advice that I can get, what can I possibly do or say to her that might make her come home and at least try to repair the damage that we have done.

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  • 4 months later...

I think you need to give her time, maybe she is going through some kind of emotional turbulence that she herself cannot explain. Maybe she still does love you, but doesn't feel it at this time. The harder you try to make things work, the more you push her away. This I know is easier said then done, too much space can be bad thing too. Maybe write her a letter letting her know you'll be there if she needs you. I feel your pain, I have been through a situation myself, always thinking about what can I do to get him back. I have learned that I need to let go, and accept the consequences of what I have caused. I also know distance is not good, but sometimes people need time and distance to figure things out. She will miss you and she will experience what life is like without you, you just have to be ready for the results. You also have to maintain your confidence when you do talk to her, as a Man who lacks confidence and shows insecurities can be unattractive. I'm sure the same goes for a woman. Just remember you have given this relationship all you can, and are still trying.... something good will come out of this for you.

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