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I've known this girl for quite a few years, great friends for a long time, then we hooked up a few times a few years back, kept in touch, and went our seperate ways in life but always keeping in touch.

 

Now, we're in the process of starting a relationship, for real this time.

 

My problem, I've been in quite a few serious long term relationships, and she has never been in a serious relationship. We've had about the same number of sexual partners, actually she's had more as she's travelled alot for her work, and I have a hard time getting over that fact she she's never had a serious relationship but so many sexual flings. Is this the friend in me, who doesn't understand why she gave herself away so easily?

 

She thinks there is some sort of destiny with us, it's possible, and considering the feelings she says she has for me that she's never had for anyone else, I've loved before and she hasn't until now. She wants a serious long term thing with me, it's really confusing me on what she was looking for before and how we got to this point again!

 

I've never had a problem with anyones "history" like this, never thought anyone ever comparing me to others, and never had the things said to me that she has said about all those years she was really looking for me, but had to go through what she did.

 

It's quite hard to get past thinking about it, maybe because i care so much about her as a friend and now we are gone from friend to lover, and sometimes I wish I didn't know as much as I do about her. How can I get over this? It's so stupid because it's never mattered to me before about girls and their pasts!

 

Ryan

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well the question is:

 

Do you want her to be your girlfriend or just another "friend?"

 

Stop concerning yourself over her history, who cares what she has done, the only thing she wants to do is be with you. What more can you ask of a woman/potential girlfriend? Or do you not harbor as strong feelings for her then you first initially thought? if not, then maybe she isn't the right one to settle down with, but if so, then what is there to lose? A friend? But think of what you may gain as well from her; someone who sees you as the first "real" thing in their life, something worth giving a shot at a serious relationship.

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