Guys, would you have sex with your best friend's girlfriend?

[shadowplay]

That's what I was thinking too. I've seen proof of this too much to refute it. But it has to be done a certain way. For example, a girl can't just nag and nag, then dump the guy thinking he will love her more.

No, she has to keep it all inside, put on a very even keeled front no matter what issues may arise, continue being perfect and loving.

 

Then WHAM come out of left field with a guilty admonition of liking the best friend, or cousin, or an ex and the guy pines for her forever. It is like a formula, I've seen it happen too many times in real life to dismiss it's reality of devoted love as the end result.

 

But I do disagree with one part Blue eyes, I don't think it will end badly, if Shadow says she wants this guy back, he will do anything if she snaps her fingers from here on out.He will call devotedly, buy her presents, anything.

 

That's basically what happened with this girl before me who he pined for. They started a normal relationship and everything was going fine, but he wasn't head over heels for her. Then she suddenly had to leave to study abroad in India, and while she was away he became obsessed with her. When she came back she decided she didn't like him anymore, and he grew even more infatuated.

 

I agree that he would probably bend over backwards for me at this point, and I find that pretty disturbing. Last night we saw Atonement together and in the middle of the movie he looked over at me, smiled and whispered "Let's get married someday." That kind of shocked me. How can he be talking marriage after what just we went through?

[spookie]

That's basically what happened with this girl before me who he pined for. They started a normal relationship and everything was going fine, but he wasn't head over heels for her. Then she suddenly had to leave to study abroad in India, and while she was away he became obsessed with her. When she came back she decided she didn't like him anymore, and he grew even more infatuated.

 

I agree that he would probably bend over backwards for me at this point, and I find that pretty disturbing. Last night we saw Atonement together and in the middle of the movie he looked over at me, smiled and whispered "Let's get married someday." That kind of shocked me. How can he be talking marriage after what just we went through?

 

That's what I've been saying. You're both f-ed up. In a way it's perfect. He feels love when he thinks he's not good enough (like when you're hurting him/ threatening to break up). You feel love via guilt. For both of you, it's like you're not mature enough to realize that you don't need to constantly be on the brink of losing each other to treasure what you have.

 

It just might work out.

 

But jesus, at this point in my life I don't think I would WANT to expend that much emotional energy on someone else. It's much more fulfilling to be with someone who consistently adds to your life, not someone through him you lose energy.

[ubioubiestmeamsububi]

Worst idea ever. Why do people always have to sleep with their friend's gf/bf or ex gf/bf? There are two people who you should never sleep with-- your best friend's siblings or ex gf/bf.

[Phateless]

If your best friend came to you and said, "My girlfriend wants to sleep with you, and I'm not too happy about it, but I won't stand in the way."

 

I found myself as the girl at the center of this bizarre scenario recently (which I fortunately nipped in the bud before it had a chance to develop). But it left me wondering what most guys would do faced with this moral dilemma. Does horniness or loyalty win over?

 

I'd tell him - "dude, well wtf are you doing with her? that's just F'd up man. get rid of her."

 

I don't mix close friends and relationship stuff - waaaay too complicated. Same thing goes for siblings of friends... unless I mean it like for a relationship, I won't go near em.

[shadowplay]

That's what I've been saying. You're both f-ed up.

 

That may be true, but sheesh that's a sort of a harsh way to put it...

Edited January 29, 2008 by shadowplay

[927beatz]

Ok. I'm a man and I'm not proud to say that Ihave been sleeping with my no longer best friend's girlfriend. See he's always been insecure and not trustworthy of people around him. He has always thought the worse of others and has subconsiously caused this to happen . The worst part is that she was my girlfriend's best friend since high school. I think that she hooked us up on purpose to get closer to me and somehow it worked. The thing is that I never enjoyed kissing her and cuddling I would reject her in that manner. Maybe because I felt about it all and because really I dont see anything interested in her besides just dangerous exciting sex..I know its wrong and I will pay soon pay for my mistakes. Also my girlfriends betrayed my trust and I found phone numbers on her phone bill that shouldn't've been there..but somehow I still believe her and mantain an unconditional love with her. He caught us leavin the hotel and is running to tell on me, which I dont think is right neither.. I should be the one telling my gilrfriend the truth and which I plan to do because I accept my mistakes and am willing to be man about it.

 

sorry for the long message need it to get that out my chest...Now to answer you I don't think there was anything wrong with you being attracted to your bfs best friend..I dont think it was a good idea telling him neither but at least you were honest..and that only leaves him with the final choice; will he be unsecure or just say well 2 bad you're mine and fullfill you in ways that you would never actually have to cheat on him.

[lovelorcet]

Ok. I'm a man and I'm not proud to say that Ihave been sleeping with my no longer best friend's girlfriend. See he's always been insecure and not trustworthy of people around him. He has always thought the worse of others and has subconsiously caused this to happen . The worst part is that she was my girlfriend's best friend since high school. I think that she hooked us up on purpose to get closer to me and somehow it worked. The thing is that I never enjoyed kissing her and cuddling I would reject her in that manner. Maybe because I felt about it all and because really I dont see anything interested in her besides just dangerous exciting sex..I know its wrong and I will pay soon pay for my mistakes. Also my girlfriends betrayed my trust and I found phone numbers on her phone bill that shouldn't've been there..but somehow I still believe her and mantain an unconditional love with her. He caught us leavin the hotel and is running to tell on me, which I dont think is right neither.. I should be the one telling my gilrfriend the truth and which I plan to do because I accept my mistakes and am willing to be man about it.

 

sorry for the long message need it to get that out my chest...Now to answer you I don't think there was anything wrong with you being attracted to your bfs best friend..I dont think it was a good idea telling him neither but at least you were honest..and that only leaves him with the final choice; will he be unsecure or just say well 2 bad you're mine and fullfill you in ways that you would never actually have to cheat on him.

 

 

So you first try to blame everyone else but yourself?? You are banging your ex best-friend's gf who just happens to also be friends with your gf? And he has indirectly caused this to happen?

 

you are sick dude... seek a therapist and get help...

[Arch]

lol, if a friend of mines GF ever hit on me, id start poking around and then abruptly tell him once I had hard evidence. If he did not want to believe me then its his choice but at least I did what I could to remove the "ho" before it caused permanent damage.

 

And any friend who ****s your GF/BF is no friend to you, it shows massive disrespect on every level.

 

edit - lawl I just realized all the puns that are placed within that passage.

Edited February 24, 2008 by Arch

[cutegirl]

I am guessing that most guys would do it and that their guy friend (with the girlfriend) probably wouldn't mind either. I think most guys believe that "sharing is caring" and that "bros come before hos", I bet they would think their male bond was even stronger after f'ing the same girl. I heard about guys doing doing this a lot, double teaming a girl in a threeway, it's the equivalent of them drinking beer or whatever, it's how men bond. Not ALL men, but I bet a lot of them feel that way.

 

A lot of guys feel stronger about their friendship after boning the same girl and laugh about it. My ex bf told me that before he met me that he wanted have sex with a girl with his REAL LIFE brother, NOT in a threesome but take turns in front of each other... and that would show their "true brotherhood" and that only a man would understand it.

Edited February 24, 2008 by cutegirl

[Hoffle]

No - It's the ultimate betrayal, great friends are hard to come by in my experience which is why I value the few I have as members of my own family.

[lino]

See he's always been insecure and not trustworthy of people around him. He has always thought the worse of others and has subconsiously caused this to happen .

 

of course its his fault, it's not like you had millions of other girls to choose from to sleep with. You had no other choice than to sleep with his girlfriend!

 

 

 

man reading this sort of stuff really makes me appreciate the friends I have.

I'd never do anything to jeopardize what I have with them, especially for a piece of a*s!

[Hoffle]

I am guessing that most guys would do it and that their guy friend (with the girlfriend) probably wouldn't mind either. I think most guys believe that "sharing is caring" and that "bros come before hos", I bet they would think their male bond was even stronger after f'ing the same girl. I heard about guys doing doing this a lot, double teaming a girl in a threeway, it's the equivalent of them drinking beer or whatever, it's how men bond. Not ALL men, but I bet a lot of them feel that way.

 

A lot of guys feel stronger about their friendship after boning the same girl and laugh about it. My ex bf told me that before he met me that he wanted have sex with a girl with his REAL LIFE brother, NOT in a threesome but take turns in front of each other... and that would show their "true brotherhood" and that only a man would understand it.

 

Are you mad as a hatter? If my friend ever slept with my girlfriend, I'd kill the pair of them.

[cutegirl]

Are you mad as a hatter? If my friend ever slept with my girlfriend, I'd kill the pair of them.

 

No I'm not as mad as a hatter, but I have heard stories of guys sharing one girl or taking turns. Some guys would be angry if their friend had sex with their gf but I bet some other guys will think of it as a bonding experience.

 

I think guys tend to put each other before women, like they will pick their male friends over any woman. They always say "bros before hos"... lol

 

Guys are usually always on each others side. They always stick up for each other, it's the "boys club". They would rather pick their male friend over some girl.

[lino]

I think guys tend to put each other before women, like they will pick their male friends over any woman. They always say "bros before hos"... lol

 

Guys are usually always on each others side. They always stick up for each other, it's the "boys club". They would rather pick their male friend over some girl.

 

Definitely! This thread is great proof of why 'bros come before hos' though it seems this guy has a pretty sh*t friend!

Girls come & go, mates are forever!

[Kamille]

No I'm not as mad as a hatter, but I have heard stories of guys sharing one girl or taking turns. Some guys would be angry if their friend had sex with their gf but I bet some other guys will think of it as a bonding experience.

 

I think guys tend to put each other before women, like they will pick their male friends over any woman. They always say "bros before hos"... lol

 

Guys are usually always on each others side. They always stick up for each other, it's the "boys club". They would rather pick their male friend over some girl.

 

Right, bros before hos and women do have the same kind of bond. But I think that in most cases, bros before hos actually mean they won't let a woman come between them - ie, the friend won't sleep with the gf.

[Curmudgeon]

No I'm not as mad as a hatter, but I have heard stories of guys sharing one girl or taking turns. Some guys would be angry if their friend had sex with their gf but I bet some other guys will think of it as a bonding experience.

 

I think guys tend to put each other before women, like they will pick their male friends over any woman. They always say "bros before hos"... lol

 

Guys are usually always on each others side. They always stick up for each other, it's the "boys club". They would rather pick their male friend over some girl.

 

I'm a guy and have been one longer, I believe, than any other on this site.

 

Never have I heard the "bros before hos" philosophy. But perhaps I've simply spent my time aorund people with more class, better values and superior vocabularies.

 

Nor am I aware of any men who would willingly share a woman with a friend or pick a male friend over a woman they valued.

 

Either I've led a cloistered life or my people picker is superior to many others'. In fact, any woman who would agree to be shared would not be someone I'd be even remotely interested in.

[mental_traveller]

Probably not. Just asking for trouble, plus I would feel awkward boning a friend's gf.

[cutegirl]

I'm a guy and have been one longer, I believe, than any other on this site.

 

Never have I heard the "bros before hos" philosophy. But perhaps I've simply spent my time aorund people with more class, better values and superior vocabularies.

 

Nor am I aware of any men who would willingly share a woman with a friend or pick a male friend over a woman they valued.

 

Either I've led a cloistered life or my people picker is superior to many others'. In fact, any woman who would agree to be shared would not be someone I'd be even remotely interested in.

 

"Bros before hos" is relatively new, mainly urban slang I guess...

 

Yes, I have associated with guys (in their mid 20's) who probably lack quite a bit of class because I hear that therm all the time. Perhaps men would be more reluctant to share a serious girlfriend, but I think a lot of the guys nowadays think it's "cool" and a "bonding experience" to share a random girl or hooker etc.

[Taramere]

Ok. I'm a man and I'm not proud to say that Ihave been sleeping with my no longer best friend's girlfriend. See he's always been insecure and not trustworthy of people around him. He has always thought the worse of others and has subconsiously caused this to happen . The worst part is that she was my girlfriend's best friend since high school. I think that she hooked us up on purpose to get closer to me and somehow it worked.

 

Is it that hard for you to take personal responsibility for the choices you make?

 

I should be the one telling my gilrfriend the truth and which I plan to do because I accept my mistakes and am willing to be man about it.

 

Good luck. Seems to me that you becoming a man would involve learning to be truthful with yourself first and foremost; taking full responsibility for your actions rather than use other people's weaknesses and imperfections as rationalisations for betraying them.

[Hoffle]

My mate slept with his girlfriend's best friend and then blurted it out full in a room full of drunken peeps only to find his girlfriend was there lurking about and she heard it all, needless to say I hid with a nice girl and we drank and talked and she is a lesbian, what are the odds, shame, If I was a woman, I'd convert for her.

[DanielMadr]

If your best friend came to you and said, "My girlfriend wants to sleep with you, and I'm not too happy about it, but I won't stand in the way."

 

I found myself as the girl at the center of this bizarre scenario recently (which I fortunately nipped in the bud before it had a chance to develop). But it left me wondering what most guys would do faced with this moral dilemma. Does horniness or loyalty win over?

 

No I wont. And I did not. It helps when she looks like roadkill though.

 

Thou shall not bang your friends ho.

 

What part of a triangle were you anyway?

[DanielMadr]

"Bros before hos" is relatively new, mainly urban slang I guess...

 

Yes, I have associated with guys (in their mid 20's) who probably lack quite a bit of class because I hear that therm all the time. Perhaps men would be more reluctant to share a serious girlfriend, but I think a lot of the guys nowadays think it's "cool" and a "bonding experience" to share a random girl or hooker etc.

 

Where exactly do you live? Nowadays my azz.

[DanielMadr]

I am guessing that most guys would do it and that their guy friend (with the girlfriend) probably wouldn't mind either. I think most guys believe that "sharing is caring" and that "bros come before hos", I bet they would think their male bond was even stronger after f'ing the same girl. I heard about guys doing doing this a lot, double teaming a girl in a threeway, it's the equivalent of them drinking beer or whatever, it's how men bond. Not ALL men, but I bet a lot of them feel that way.

 

A lot of guys feel stronger about their friendship after boning the same girl and laugh about it. My ex bf told me that before he met me that he wanted have sex with a girl with his REAL LIFE brother, NOT in a threesome but take turns in front of each other... and that would show their "true brotherhood" and that only a man would understand it.

 

You live in a strange world. Patriarchy out to get you eh?

 

Banging a chic infront of other male is classless, insecure, exhibicionistic, gay, gangsta wanna be macho sh*t. Who do you date for christ sake?

[dbtmarley]

I wouldn't have sex with any man's girlfriend or wife for that matter.

[nicki]

You know, we create boundaries for ourselves to define our character. Otherwise, we'd bang anybody we wanted to.

 

Truth is, I don't even go down the road of attraction with anyone who is an impossible candidate. That means married men, my friend's exes, my sister's boyfriends, bosses, etc....

 

I really don't understand people who say "I just couldn't help it. I had an affair with my best friend's husband." WTF?

 

The problem started with the whole thought of "I'd like to bang him. I'm attracted to him. I should get what I want....Why not just have lunch with him. That's no big deal, right? I'd never actually sleep with him."

 

WRONG. That's exactly how affairs and nosedives from grace happen. Lunch turns into "Wow, he's so different from my guy. I can handle this. I won't let anything bad happen when we go out for drinks later. I can control myself."

 

Pretty soon you would be thinking "So what if bang him. I'll just get it out of my system. Just once. Besides, his wife is a real b#tch who doesn't understand him. Poor guy. He needs love, too."

 

Shadow, all I can say is watch your thought patterns. The minute you think you might be attracted to his friend, you cut off that thought. You don't feed it with positive happy thoughts of it all turning out wonderful. Rather, you try to understand why you are thinking that way if you are so happy with your boyfriend.

 

Maybe it is a sign that you need to leave so you can freely date others. Maybe it is because you are pissed off at your boyfriend and can't show your anger another way. Maybe it's because you feel powerless with him and this gives you power over him, or evens the score in some way for his own threesome comment from the past.

 

Anyway, I agree with the poster who said once you bring in a third party, it contaminates the relationship. No one wants to be second choice. If they do, they are too screwed up to be in the relationship.

 

I personally think your boyfriend isn't a strong enough of a personality to be with you. You need a guy who will stop you from being the kind of woman who would say "Hey, I would like to date your friend."

 

I know you are smart and thoughtful and that this just was a passing thought and maybe not something you would have really acted upon.

 

However, it caused damage and you need to learn to edit yourself. Would you tell your boyfriend he had a small penis if he asked you (and he really did)? Heck no, you'd say it was perfect. Same thing here. You don't have to tell him every thought.

 

I'm sure if you had thought about if for a while, you would have dealt with it on your own and not said that to him. How could that have NOT hurt him?

 

Maybe deep down you knew it would. So, now ask yourself why you want him to feel hurt. What is making you angry and scared? What do you want? Are you simply afraid to end things and want him to do it for you by pushing him to the edge...an edge it doesn't sound like he has anyway..