dgiirl Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 well, he now got me to a point that i don't even want to ...(have sex with him). too much drama. God forbid his feelings are hurt in the process and he feels used or something. I've never had to ask for sex in my life and don't plan on now. I know you are venting out of frustration, but this thinking might be part of the problem. Dgiirl, I never discredited his feelings or made fun of him. Everyone is entitled to their feelings. I encourage him to talk about them etc. it's just that he never drops anything and after he talks about it and i agree with him and say "i will try harder etc", he's still not happy and feels things are not "resolved". You might not think you have, you might not intend to do so, but the way you've told us just in this thread has shown a lack of empathy and discrediting of his feelings. And you have made fun of him. You said he was acting like a 2 year old girl. I dont know if you've ever said these things specifically to him, but the mere fact of writing them here in frustration can come out passive/aggressively in the way you act towards him. You dont always have to say things in words to know how a person feels about you. And he will not drop it until he feels acknowledged, or loses hope in things changing and wants a divorce. It's not just a matter of you "fixing" it. It's a matter of you actually truly understanding how he feels, and WHY he feels it. He's seeking validation for his feelings and all you are doing is trying to put a bandage over a wound where there are emotional wounds. Link to post Share on other sites
jeffrey_e Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 I envy your husband and pitty him at the same time. I spent 27 years in a marrage where my wife and I had sex 1x per month and not every month. She said she loved me but didnt. It was only recently she realized that she didnt and dropped me like a hot potato. Believe me it was as cruel as it sounds. To have someone who desires you the way you desire your husband is something I pray for for myself. That one day I will find someone who looks at me the way you look at your husband. He clearly doesnt know what he has. Poor fellow. Hand in there and keep giving it your best. You'll know when its time to call it quits. All the best, Jeffrey Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted January 28, 2008 Share Posted January 28, 2008 Jeffery hit the nail on the head! You and the DH have only been married six months ~ and the best predictor of furture behaviour is past behaviour? The single one thing that I regret about my two LTR's (married once ~ divorce once ~ six and half year shack up deal) was that I wasted 18-1/2 years of the best years of my life on women and relationships that panned out to just ~ nothing! Those are years that I can't get back ~ some of the best years of my life! I usually don't comment on sexual matters ~ but 98% of the population masturbate ~ the other 2%? They're lying about it! For your DH to have issues about it? He's got problems! He's got issues that go beyond the "issue" Most men fantaisie about such things ~ even relish it! Your not as crazy as your DH would have you think you are? For him? Its not about sex, masturbation, etc? Its about control of you! Its about his own insecurties! His own doubts! About himself! Me? Myself and I? I could give a damn what a woman of mine could nor would do? I could care less where she goes and who she goes and does what-forth-with! If her "Happy-Ass" can't act like she's in a committed relationship? I'll kick her "Happy-Ass" to the curb! Just that plain ~ just that simple! Link to post Share on other sites
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