I feel SOOOOOO stupid

[zulu girl]

Hi everyone, I am making myself silly about this, I dont even really know why either.

 

I recently left my husband a few months ago, and spent those few months working on myself and my kids, I was not really looking for anyone,

 

But there was this man that started to pay me alot of attention, he was being so nice to me, and a lot of flirting, after a few weeks of this, we were talking on the phone, and sending text messages.

 

We did both agree, that neither of us wanted a relationship, that we were happy as friends and maybe down the track when both of us were ready we could think about more than.

 

After another week or so, this was fine, then we had sex.

After we did, we were both saying that we hoped that either of us didnt think that ment anything had changed between us, and how we both wanted things to stay the same as they have been. However if we happened to have sex again, then that was fine.

 

As soon as I left, he rang and told me that that could never happen again, ever, it was a mistake, and so on. I said that was fine,

 

Then all the next day, all I heard from him was how much he couldnt wait to have sex again, and he was asking when he can come around,

By this stage I was getting confused:confused:

 

I then got another change of heart from him later that afternoon, where he told me he didnt want anything to do with me ever again, and explained he was deeply sorry, that he really likes me, and thinks it wrong just to have sex with me, he than said no stings attatched was not easy for him to do, and he would hate to hurt me or himself, as he was not ready for a relationship with anyone.

 

I got a lot of how much he likes me, and would want more from me than what we have if we ever slept together, and he doesnt want to see me again, as im too attractive to him. :confused:

 

I would be ok with what ever he decides, however, Why is he so confused???

Is he confused? or was he only trying to get one thing from me?

 

We had another big talk and sorted out alot, I said whatever he decided, Id be happy to go along with, so we are never having sex again but will keep talking as we like being friends.

So no matter what he does, I am going to stick with this.

 

But I am confused, dont really understand how he feels about me? and am weary of being taken for a ride, but he assures me it is quite the opposite?

 

I know this must be confusing, but any help would be great, I have never been through anything like this before, so am proberly reading into it too much.:o:o

[Cobra_X30]

Ummm.... It sounds like your still married, just seperated. Is that the case?

 

If your still married he has plenty of reason to be confused.

[zulu girl]

Yes i am still married, but it is over.

I am not sure if he is divorced or not, he separated a long time before me and has had a girlfriend since then,

 

I dont want anything from him, and he is confusing me.

 

I am scared though that I will be taken for a ride, and was worried that was what is happening here, or if he really is a nice guy,

 

If the case is a nice guy, i think I will leave him alone and let him contact me, as I have been doing since this happened,

 

If he isnt a nice guy, I dont want anything to do with him ever.

 

I hope you understand.

[Cobra_X30]

Yes i am still married, but it is over.

I am not sure if he is divorced or not, he separated a long time before me and has had a girlfriend since then,

I dont want anything from him, and he is confusing me.

I am scared though that I will be taken for a ride, and was worried that was what is happening here, or if he really is a nice guy,

If the case is a nice guy, i think I will leave him alone and let him contact me, as I have been doing since this happened,

If he isnt a nice guy, I dont want anything to do with him ever.

I hope you understand.

 

Ok, this is tough work, but here is how you can tell what this guy is planning.

 

Continue contact with him... let him initiate about 50% of that.

 

Let him know that unless he is willing to be in some kind of exclusive relationship with you... no more sex.

 

Failing that. Ask him point blank his intentions. If he waffles/changes his mind.... he isnt a very good guy.