gman0hsev Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 thank you all for your support ! and trying to help me go through this. Like they say you guys can only show me the door but I have to walk through it. Thats the whole thing, im soo used to putting up with her that I dont think I can love anyone who doesnt scream at me like she did or treat me like she did.. I somehow got used to the way she treated me and now I realy feel that even the cheating was very ok. I just want her back I really want her back in my life. she was everything I hated in a person but I just loved her for who she was, I had started excepting what she is and I really didnt have a problem with anything she did to me other than the cheating or maybe I didnt. God im soo lost and confused I dont know what to do anymore. Everytime my phone rings I pray its her but only find it to be some annoying sales call. My life is nothing but a canrival of rust without her love, feels like im going to break down. Today on the raido they were playing our favorite song to which we used to dance all night. I got Drunk last night and allmost dialed her number, I cried most of last night didnt sleep a wink, felt like $h|T in the morning. I wish I could just wipe her away from my head, Its not easy. I have all of her stuff around me. Her pictures, pictures of us together, everything I look at reminds me of her and makes me cry and cry I just want the pain to go away, Im thinking of taking the weekend offf to some place quiet and where I can be alone.. 1.a. Delete her number 1.b. If she calls you do not pick it up 1.c. delete all voice mail messages/texts you may get from her. To sum it up go no contact 2. Get rid of all the pictures of her. Throw them away, put em in a box and throw it into the ocean, burn them, something! Looking at her over and over isn't going to help you. 3. Stop making excuses for her being a bi$#@ and man up. She sounds like a horrible, horrible person and you should feel lucky that she dumped you cause heavens know what would have happened if it was the other way around. 4. I may have said this already but grow.....a.....pair! honestly it sounds like you are kind of submissive and I don't have a problem with that as long as it makes you happy. But it doesn't make you happy(hence why you are here). So try to find a dominant women who isn't a complete pyscho. Isn't being the key word here. 5. This may sound harsh(actually i think i already crossed that line) but she doesn't love you. if she did she wouldn't act treat you like a dog(actually most people treat their dogs pretty well so i guess she is treating you like something else). My point is though you don't feel like you can't love anyone who thinks you are and treats you like a piece of sh&%, you can. Just maintence that carnival and in time you will find someone else. If you end up forgiving and getting back with her I can guarantee that you will end up in this same position in the future. So its better off to get off the ride now before you get hurt worse. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted February 1, 2008 Share Posted February 1, 2008 thank you all for your support ! and trying to help me go through this. Like they say you guys can only show me the door but I have to walk through it. Thats the whole thing, im soo used to putting up with her that I dont think I can love anyone who doesnt scream at me like she did or treat me like she did.. I somehow got used to the way she treated me and now I realy feel that even the cheating was very ok. I just want her back I really want her back in my life. she was everything I hated in a person but I just loved her for who she was, I had started excepting what she is and I really didnt have a problem with anything she did to me other than the cheating or maybe I didnt. God im soo lost and confused I dont know what to do anymore. Everytime my phone rings I pray its her but only find it to be some annoying sales call. My life is nothing but a canrival of rust without her love, feels like im going to break down. Today on the raido they were playing our favorite song to which we used to dance all night. I got Drunk last night and allmost dialed her number, I cried most of last night didnt sleep a wink, felt like $h|T in the morning. I wish I could just wipe her away from my head, Its not easy. I have all of her stuff around me. Her pictures, pictures of us together, everything I look at reminds me of her and makes me cry and cry I just want the pain to go away, Im thinking of taking the weekend offf to some place quiet and where I can be alone.. YOU totally hate yourself and this is why you put up with this disgusting treatment . It sounds like a dysfunctional past you have. Why in GODS earth would you want someone to do the crap she does to you ? Why ? Because you ( for some reason ) don't think you are worth BETTER ! You don't need and should NOT be looking at her pics. It took me along time but I finally stopped looking at mine... You need to put them out of sight. What do you think will happen by looking at them ? She will come back ? NOT ! Holding on to what ? More cra* ? You do NOT love yourself . How in the heck can you love her ? No way , no how , no segundos ... I knowwwwwwww this is going to be very very hard for you but I want you to focus on what is up with YOU. Not her . To H*** with her. Its all about YOU now. How you got to this place . How you can recover. How you can get stronger. Leave this toxic piece of meat behind and start obsessing over helping yourself on your computer . Google every known thing you can about dysfunction. If you see a cool phrase or insight then COPY it and put it in a binder. READ the binder every day. Add more. Do this. You have all the control of your thoughts. You can TRAIN your mind to replace the bad files into good ones. I have read alot about the files we keep in our mind. We can change the file or add funny attachments. Example : Michelle ( insert her name here ) Michelle is a whining baby biatch who treats me like crap. Say the line again. Amazingly if you do it enough , when your mind pulls up the file of Michelle it will also say : the biatch who treated me like cra*. You are in the save your soul mode. If you dont do something drastic to STOP all contact and thoughts you are going downhill. You are here. You need help. We all KNOW what its like. Do you know millions of ppl get treated like cra* everyday and it takes along time for them to get to the point where they feel better again. Whole again. Ready to find a real relationship. Don't frustrate us with " But I love her " No, you love the sick twisted ABUSE and brother it is abuse. You dont need to be beaten down anymore. Get help ! Do it on your own if you can't afford therapy. We care alot Link to post Share on other sites
Author Grimreaper Posted February 5, 2008 Author Share Posted February 5, 2008 Thank you all soo much for your support! here is whats been happening http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=1524049&posted=1#post1524049 Link to post Share on other sites
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