Your Thoughts on Shy People

[TheSilentType]

Questions, questions, questions

 

What do you think about people who are shy?

 

Do you think they are stuck up or arrogant if they don't introduce themselves to you?

 

Do you ignore them, or do you try to get to know them?

 

How does someone who is shy change and become more comfortable interacting with people?

[klee]

What do you think about people who are shy?

I think they are like me!

 

Do you think they are stuck up or arrogant if they don't introduce themselves to you?

No, but I do think that being shy is not an excuse for being rude. You should always be polite, at least.

 

Do you ignore them, or do you try to get to know them?

I try to get to know them if I am not being shy myself.

 

How does someone who is shy change and become more comfortable interacting with people?

I posted on another thread about this recently. I used to be painfully shy. Red in the face constantly! But getting older, accomplishing some things for myself and starting to care less about what others were thinking of me helped a lot. So now I consider myself just a bit shy. Depends on the circumstances, but usually I have no problems greeting people (strangers) or introducing myself. I can order for myself in restaurants and whatnot...LOL! No but seriously, I have always been a quiet loner type. Being shy is kinda the same I think, only maybe with less anxiety about interacting with people. I think it takes practice to be less nervous. Maybe just start with hi and a smile. Works for me!

[klee]

Are you shy, TheSilentType?

[Meaplus3]

Questions, questions, questions

 

What do you think about people who are shy?

 

Do you think they are stuck up or arrogant if they don't introduce themselves to you?

 

Do you ignore them, or do you try to get to know them?

 

How does someone who is shy change and become more comfortable interacting with people?

 

I alway's feel that shy people are hard to approach....kind of like you don't know what to say to break the ice.

 

AP:)

[CaliGuy]

Questions, questions, questions

 

What do you think about people who are shy?

 

Mostly I think they're insecure.

 

Do you think they are stuck up or arrogant if they don't introduce themselves to you?

 

No, but that's because I have an A-type personality and I usually introduce myself to break the ice. Someone has to.

 

Do you ignore them, or do you try to get to know them?

 

See above.

 

How does someone who is shy change and become more comfortable interacting with people?

 

Love yourself first and foremost. Read books on confidence building. Do the things you fear most to build up confidence. Mostly though it's not giving a damn what people think about you, but what you think about yourself. Once you're comfortable in your own skin you will become self-assured. I don't mean be an ass, I just mean stop relying on other's approval of you.

 

It may not break you completely of being shy or reserved, but those traits in and of themselves are not inherently bad either.

[klee]

Exactly, Caliguy. That is what my problem was---insecurity.

[CaliGuy]

Exactly, Caliguy. That is what my problem was---insecurity.

 

Go to amazon or any other online book retailer, look up books on self-confidence and self-esteem and buy a few of the highest recommended ones. That's what I did. (For men I highly suggest "No More Mr. Nice Guy").

 

The biggest thing for me though was simply to STOP SEEKING APPROVAL FROM OTHERS. I think that, more than anything else, is what kills an individual's self confidence and self-esteem.

 

Once you realize that you don't have to make anyone else happy, that their happiness also relies on them as much as yours does on you, you'll start to build confidence and self-esteem. Also remember it's a daily thing you have to do, a constant reminder, much like brushing your teeth every day (which I assume you do, lol).

 

The other thing is to do things that you are really scared of doing (such as skydiving, etc. For me it was racing professionally which I've done and didn't die ).

 

What you want to do is strive to accept yourself completely then, by default, the people who love you for who you are will stick around and those who don't will disappear from your life. And really that's to your benefit.

 

I can't tell you how many "so called friends" I have lost through this transition. They weren't friends, they were people who wanted my friendship for what they would gain, not because they cared about me as a person. That's no loss to me at all.

 

In fact, the people who have stuck around are people who care about ME as a person and accept me for who I am, warts and all.

 

And really, that's what you're striving for.

 

Cheers.

[monkey00]

Questions, questions, questions

 

What do you think about people who are shy?

 

Do you think they are stuck up or arrogant if they don't introduce themselves to you?

 

Do you ignore them, or do you try to get to know them?

 

How does someone who is shy change and become more comfortable interacting with people?

 

I think some shy people just have a hard time breaking the ice or breaking through social barriers that may inhibit them.

 

I don't think they're stuck up nor arrogant, I used be a very shy guy back in the day...I think they just take longer than your average joe to get comfortable in their environment with people.

 

It depends, some shy people can be very interesting when they come out of their shell...or just plain boring. Though if anything they shine brightly if a leader is around.

 

IME, i think the best way is to expose yourself in uncomfortable or awkward social situations. Having friends introduce you to their friends or breaking the ice for you with other people works well. And you should maintain an open-mind about change and come out of your shell.

[4givrnt4gtr]

Go to amazon or any other online book retailer, look up books on self-confidence and self-esteem and buy a few of the highest recommended ones. That's what I did. (For men I highly suggest "No More Mr. Nice Guy").

 

The biggest thing for me though was simply to STOP SEEKING APPROVAL FROM OTHERS. I think that, more than anything else, is what kills an individual's self confidence and self-esteem.

 

Once you realize that you don't have to make anyone else happy, that their happiness also relies on them as much as yours does on you, you'll start to build confidence and self-esteem. Also remember it's a daily thing you have to do, a constant reminder, much like brushing your teeth every day (which I assume you do, lol).

 

The other thing is to do things that you are really scared of doing (such as skydiving, etc. For me it was racing professionally which I've done and didn't die ).

 

What you want to do is strive to accept yourself completely then, by default, the people who love you for who you are will stick around and those who don't will disappear from your life. And really that's to your benefit.

 

I can't tell you how many "so called friends" I have lost through this transition. They weren't friends, they were people who wanted my friendship for what they would gain, not because they cared about me as a person. That's no loss to me at all.

 

In fact, the people who have stuck around are people who care about ME as a person and accept me for who I am, warts and all.

 

And really, that's what you're striving for.

 

Cheers.

 

This response is amazing. I dont consider myself shy, but i do have confidence issues that show up in other areas, like relationships and stuff (overanalyzing and whathaveyou). I think the hardest part is to not care what other people think of you...how long did it take you to do this? and did u do it all by reading self help books? Major props to you!

[norajane]

What do you think about people who are shy?

 

I think it's common, and some of the most outgoing people are actually former shy people. In fact, they may still be shy on the inside, but don't let it stand in their way.

Do you think they are stuck up or arrogant if they don't introduce themselves to you?

No, unless they pointedly move away so as not to meet me, or direct their entire conversation to only one other person in the group.

 

Do you ignore them, or do you try to get to know them?

I introduce myself and talk to them. I can usually have a conversation with just about anyone, but I will become bored if they barely have anything to say, and reply with one word answers.

 

Also, if they don't talk, they are easily forgettable, so I'm not likely to remember them if I meet them at a party or something.

 

How does someone who is shy change and become more comfortable interacting with people?

The only way to become more comfortable interacting with people is to interact with people.

 

And keep in mind that most people aren't really giving you much thought, so you don't really need to worry what they're thinking of you. They're pretty wrapped up in themselves.

[EYECANDY000]

Questions, questions, questions

 

What do you think about people who are shy?

I tend to get very annoyed by shy people. If I feel like I have to go through a lot just to get a sentance out of you, then im annoyed

 

Do you think they are stuck up or arrogant if they don't introduce themselves to you?

I dont think they are arrogant, just dont know how to engage in conversation with strangers very well

 

Do you ignore them, or do you try to get to know them?

Depends on the person! If I ask you questions, and you dont ask me any back then the conversation is over. Oviously Im trying to get to know you a little better

 

How does someone who is shy change and become more comfortable interacting with people?

You have to start by being around people. You cant change if you are a loner. Start going to social gatherings, being around friends

[Taramere]

Questions, questions, questions

 

What do you think about people who are shy?

 

Unless they're shy to the point of social incompetence or being seriously hard work, I tend to relate to and gravitate towards them.

 

Do you think they are stuck up or arrogant if they don't introduce themselves to you?

 

Not if they come across as being shy. Arrogance is something I'm more inclined to perceive in someone who's gratingly full of themselves.

 

Do you ignore them, or do you try to get to know them?

 

If something they say or do suggests intelligence and a dry sense of humour then I'll try to get to know them. Quite a few important people in my life are basically quite shy, with those qualities.

 

How does someone who is shy change and become more comfortable interacting with people?

 

I don't think a person should ever think in terms of changing their basic temperament.

 

Naturally shy, introverted people often have qualities associated with sensitivity and introspection that will help them develop extremely good social skills. I think that comes with them accepting themselves as they are rather, than feeling under pressure to fake being a life and soul of the party type.

 

Shy people maybe just need to bear in mind that group situations can sometimes be hard work for them. Whereas an extravert will find noisy, heavily populated situations energising, to an introvert large groups of people can be very draining. Exposing yourself to those situations, but permitting yourself to ration the time you spend around them probably helps you to manage them more effectively.

 

I've also found, in adult life, that developing friendships with more extraverted people can be helpful in encouraging more sociable behaviour. It pays to be selective, though, and stick with extraverted types who accept you as you are....rather than spending too much time around those who who would have you believe that introversion as a some sort of negative condition. It's not (unless, of course, it's present to the degree that it cripples you socially). Like extraversion, it's a personality trait with its own set of pros and cons.

Edited February 10, 2008 by Taramere

[CaliGuy]

This response is amazing. I dont consider myself shy, but i do have confidence issues that show up in other areas, like relationships and stuff (overanalyzing and whathaveyou). I think the hardest part is to not care what other people think of you...how long did it take you to do this? and did u do it all by reading self help books? Major props to you!

 

Thanks.

 

It took a while but I think a lot of it had to do with my faith in addition to the books. But remember, it's not something you can learn one time and then put the book away and forget about it. Building confidence is a LIFETIME, EVERY DAY exercise. Many people think that by reading a self help book or going to a Counselor a few times that's all it takes.

 

Think of confidence as the foundation for your life. A foundation that you build upon each and every single day. I hesitate to call it work, because for me it was never really work at all. But for some, the daily "chore" of working on one's confidence makes it seem like work.

 

The bottom line here is NOBODY but NOBODY achieves anything in life easily. If you want to be confident and self-assured you WILL have to work for it. If one expects things to come easy (and for some, they do, but for most, no not at all) then don't expect results.

 

Remember: You will never truly understand how to love others until you first learn to love yourself.

 

Cheers.

[4givrnt4gtr]

Remember: You will never truly understand how to love others until you first learn to love yourself.

.

 

Very very true....i like the way you think Caliguy.

[CaliGuy]

Very very true....i like the way you think Caliguy.

 

Thanks.

 

And why worry about finding someone? If you have a lot to bring to the table, THEY will find YOU

[oppath]

As a former shy guy, who has a chapter in a book about social anxiety being written about him by his superhot therapist he wants to bone...

 

Questions, questions, questions

 

What do you think about people who are shy?

 

I think they are people with lots to offer as friends, however, I find it difficult to connect to them in a dating context. I used to be shy, so I know they have lots to offer, but I want someone I can talk on the phone with for hours. A shy person is not that person for me. This does not mean they are not that person for someone else.

 

Do you think they are stuck up or arrogant if they don't introduce themselves to you?

 

No, I think they are shy. I recognize that and spend extra time talking to them.

 

Do you ignore them, or do you try to get to know them?

 

I try and get to know them though eventually I'll tire and shift to others if they are not reciprocating. It's not being shy that is the turnoff, it's if they are shy but don't try that turns me off. I don't mind if you are shy and do not contribute much as long as you participate in the conversation or demonstrate your are actively listening.

 

How does someone who is shy change and become more comfortable interacting with people?

 

Stop avoiding anxious/shy situations.

Take small risks.

Acknowledge that you are shy.

Give a compliment to the other person in conversation.

Remember that other peoples favorite topic of conversation is themselves.

Understand that everyone feels socially anxious at times.

 

[ibitealil]

Questions, questions, questions

 

What do you think about people who are shy?

 

I dont think anything until i get to know the person. i dont think being shy is negative. but its true if someone is shy AND boring (dull) he/she is easily forgotten.

 

Do you think they are stuck up or arrogant if they don't introduce themselves to you?

 

no, it s just an insecurity and self preservation thing.

 

Do you ignore them, or do you try to get to know them?

 

Depends, if i think or feel like this person has something more to offer i try to know them

 

How does someone who is shy change and become more comfortable interacting with people?

 

The most important thing is "like urself". A person who likes him/herself attract people somehow. Smile and look up :-) dont avoid eye contact :-) i know many shy people have so much things to offer...such as they r interesting, intelligent and confy to be with. And shy people often are very modest not arrogant & Adaptable to situations as well. But of course it depends on a person. Only shyness does not define the whole person.