a_torn_novagirl Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 (edited) I've been single for 3 years now, and I finally found the guy that I want to be with, but he's all the way in Japan. He has always had a crush on me in high school, and now two years later, I'm ready to be with him. He still wants to be with me, but he doesn't want to start a relationship with me right now (because we're so far apart). We came to the agreement that when he gets back, we're definitely hooking up. Recently I went and got my oil changes, and this guy got my number out of the computer. The guy is so cute, but he could never compare to the guy in the navy. I told the guy in the navy about him, and he was so understanding about it. He actually told me to find someone to be with, but when he gets back to the states he wants to have the title of "My Boyfriend." I'm always on the phone with the guy who changed my oil, but the whole time I'm on the phone with him I'm constantly thinking about the guy in the navy. The worst part about this situation is...everytime I start liking someone, another guy comes along, I forget about the old guy and start messing with the new guy. I thought that's how this situation was going to go down, but the guy in the navy is the person I want to be with. I've never been in love, but I've grown and feel in love with the guy in the navy and he doesn't even know that I LOVE HIM. I always thought that love was something that you could describe, but it's something that you feel and I feel it constantly. I want to tell him, but what's the point we're 6,802 miles away from each other. Baton Rouge,Louisiana>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Japan Edited January 29, 2008 by a_torn_novagirl Link to post Share on other sites
Saxis Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 I would've called the manager/corporate of the oil change place and pushed for a settlement for the invasion of your privacy and harassment. Then I'd wait for the person you supposedly "love" to get home. What are you gonna do with the other guy when navy boy gets home? Ditch him? Hopefully they both wise up and run for the hills after they realize they're being played like a fiddle, if that's the case. Link to post Share on other sites
Ocean-Blue Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 That sucks. I hate anything long distance. I would not necessarily write this oil change guy off... On the other hand, you have to know that it may not work out the way you want (i.e. oil guy keeps you occupied and then navy guy swoops in and sweeps you off your feet). It's great that NG is all understanding... But remember, things can get messy. Me personally, I'd run from the OCG. What he did is un peu creepy... But if that's your style, then persue it. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 I've been single for 3 years now, and I finally found the guy that I want to be with, but he's all the way in Japan. He has always had a crush on me in high school, and now two years later, I'm ready to be with him. He still wants to be with me, but he doesn't want to start a relationship with me right now (because we're so far apart). We came to the agreement that when he gets back, we're definitely hooking up. Recently I went and got my oil changes, and this guy got my number out of the computer. The guy is so cute, but he could never compare to the guy in the navy. I told the guy in the navy about him, and he was so understanding about it. He actually told me to find someone to be with, but when he gets back to the states he wants to have the title of "My Boyfriend." I'm always on the phone with the guy who changed my oil, but the whole time I'm on the phone with him I'm constantly thinking about the guy in the navy. The worst part about this situation is...everytime I start liking someone, another guy comes along, I forget about the old guy and start messing with the new guy. I thought that's how this situation was going to go down, but the guy in the navy is the person I want to be with. I've never been in love, but I've grown and feel in love with the guy in the navy and he doesn't even know that I LOVE HIM. I always thought that love was something that you could describe, but it's something that you feel and I feel it constantly. I want to tell him, but what's the point we're 6,802 miles away from each other. Baton Rouge,Louisiana>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Japan The part I bolded - that's a test. I see it that way. Why? Cause I have been there and I told the 2nd guy - NO. I love BF very much and I'd never let a guy come in between us. We're in LDR too and it sucks but things will get better if you both trust and communicate with one another. I hope you will not play with these guys' feelings. It's not cool. Just put yourself in their position - one of them, at least. It wouldn't be fun, now would it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author a_torn_novagirl Posted January 29, 2008 Author Share Posted January 29, 2008 I understand where all three of you are coming from, but the guy in the navy and I aren't together. What we have are just future plans, and I can't wait for those plans to come true. The guy who changed my oil might be "a test", and he might just pass through my life. It's nothing serious with him, we're just on the phone a lot. We never talked about hooking up, but I know he likes me (and I like him too, but like a friend). I feel that it's too early for me to tell the guy who changed my oil about the guy in the navy, because it might not work out (maybe because I don't want it to work out with me and him). Plus it's hard for me to tell someone that I'm not interested, the truth anyway. Thanks for your advice. I'll keep you posted!! Link to post Share on other sites
TMichaels Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 (edited) I understand where all three of you are coming from, but the guy in the navy and I aren't together. What we have are just future plans, and I can't wait for those plans to come true. Huh? 14 hours earlier you said this: I've been single for 3 years now, and I finally found the guy that I want to be with, but he's all the way in Japan. He has always had a crush on me in high school, and now two years later, I'm ready to be with him. And then, you said: ...everytime I start liking someone' date=' another guy comes along, I forget about the old guy and start messing with the new guy... I feel that it's too early for me to tell the guy who changed my oil about the guy in the navy, because it might not work out (maybe because I don't want it to work out with me and him). Plus it's hard for me to tell someone that I'm not interested, the truth anyway. [/quote'] Do you have any idea how selfish, self-centered and shallow you sound, not to mention so lacking in self-worth? Why else is it so necessary to have others constantly assure you you're desirable in order to feel good? Sorry novagirl, you shouldn't be involved in *any* relationship until you get your head sorted out. They don't deserve to be treated with such cavalier disregard, and you don't deserve their earnest interest. TMichaels Edited January 30, 2008 by TMichaels Link to post Share on other sites
Author a_torn_novagirl Posted January 31, 2008 Author Share Posted January 31, 2008 I guess I can take that as advice. LOL!!! You don't know anything about me, and the story I posted is just a short version of this big issue. My head is on straight, why do you think I was single for three years? The guy in the navy didn't want to be with me, because he was so far away..I was willing to make a comment. He told me to go out and find someone, and he was okay with that. I actually told him if he didn't want me to be with anyone, I would wait for him. (so get your foot out of your mouth) Would you call that being a selfish person? I just recently told the guy who changed my oil about the guy in the navy, and he completely understood. I never said I was messing with both of these guys, all I said was I liked them both. Millions of people have been in the same situation before, and my situation is totally innocent compared to others. Before you accuse someone of being selfish and self-centered, ask more questions first. But your just a typical male who doesn't care about anybody feelings but yourself, I don't even know you but I like that about you!!! Do you have any idea how judgmental, opinionated, and biased you sound, not to mention how chauvinistic your being right now? [sIZE=2]That's what's up!! [/sIZE] Link to post Share on other sites
TMichaels Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 You don't know anything about me... Do you have any idea how judgemental, opinionated, and biased you sound, not to ention how chauvinistic your being right now?... Before you accuse someone of being selfish and self-centered, ask more questions first. But your just a typical male who doesn't care about anybody feelings but yourself, I don't even know you but I like that about you!!! While you're busy trying to deflect criticism, add gender confusion to your list of stellar qualities. And, ask yourself why it is, no matter what, "it's all about you." Best, TMichaels Link to post Share on other sites
Author a_torn_novagirl Posted January 31, 2008 Author Share Posted January 31, 2008 Maybe your right, or maybe your wrong. This is my life we are talking about isn't it? My life, novagirl's life...me, me, me, me ,me!!! Why would I be talking about another person's love life on this forum? Thanks so much for your help!!! Link to post Share on other sites
MeloraB Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 Hey, if you've been able to stay single for three years and you believe you're in love with Navy guy, then, why not just wait for him? Actually your story sounds a little bit like mine except that I already am in a relationship with my guy but he's in China right now. By the way, I live in Baton Rouge as well!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author a_torn_novagirl Posted February 14, 2008 Author Share Posted February 14, 2008 that's mind-boggling....LOL!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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