I am considering divorce

[PinkRibbon]

Not just that thread but reading some threads on another forum as well. It is a buildup of things that has convinced me that all women eventually end up resenting their husbands and why should I even try anymore.

 

 

I think that is selective reading. I know you have been reading my posts and I was very happy in my marriage but my husband walked out on me without so much as a backwards glance. So not ALL women are like that and I don't think many on this board that post are like that.

[Mr. Lucky]

Come on this woman has put up with your pre marital cold feet, bitter buddy, YOUR HOUSE, prenup demands, been shot at......

Woggle, have you ever considered auditioning for a Reality TV show? You're just the kind of guy they're looking for ...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Woggle]

I hate reality shows so no. Women have a very hard time understanding where I am coming from. They don't know what it is like to do everything right and the man in their life still resents the hell out of them. They don't know what it is like to think they had a great thing but their spouse all of a sudden drops the bomb on them. They just don't understand the fear that I have.

[Woggle]

I meant to say man because I was posting from a woman's point of view. They just don't understand where I am coming from.

[Pirouette]

I hate reality shows so no. Women have a very hard time understanding where I am coming from. They don't know what it is like to do everything right and the man in their life still resents the hell out of them. They don't know what it is like to think they had a great thing but their spouse all of a sudden drops the bomb on them. They just don't understand the fear that I have.

 

Not all women perhaps, but I've read plenty of women's posts where the man ups and leaves them for apparently no reason (they call it the midlife crisis). And if you dropped the divorce bomb on your wife tomorrow, she'd know the feeling as well. Though I must say, I don't think I've ever seen someone as fearful as you of that particular thing.

 

I've also seen my mother get criticized all of my life by my dad. He even recently yelled at her in the middle of a bank and called her stupid while everyone watched. I've seen him shove her to the ground in anger. They are still married.

 

It hasn't made me hate and fear men though. I've just vowed to never marry someone like him.

[Letranger]

What? You're a closet gay aren't you? Read that again, will you?

 

You're completely nuts. I pity your poor wife.

 

Why did you compare him to a closet gay? Where you trying to be insulting? I normally admire your posts Touche, but this one I do not understand.

Edited January 30, 2008 by Letranger
mispelling

[Letranger]

Why? Read his post again?. Read it. No, I wasn't trying to be insulting at all. I was only responding to his post.

 

I see nothing wrong with being gay. Nothing at all. I'm beginning to think the OP is better off being gay. He hates women and doesn't trust them. He's incapable of having a normal relationship with women, IMO. I can see it a mile away.

 

He should be with a gay guy or maybe a tranny.

 

To be sincere, I have a hard time in fully understanding what he is trying to say in the post you bolded, but maybe thats due to my lack of comprehensive skills. I still do not say how being with a gay guy or a 'tranny' will adjust his feelings, outlook, and anxiety.

Why should a gay person or a 'tranny' be so different? Something is not adding up for me here, and I think generalizations and sterotypes are being mixed in and thrown around.

I dont think him being with people with a different someone of a different sexual preference is going to work 'better' for them (as if a gay guy or tranny will be intellectually fulfilling or a better match, simply due to their sexual preference).

But hey, im a little confused at this whole thread anyway.

[Touche]

To be sincere, I have a hard time in fully understanding what he is trying to say in the post you bolded, but maybe thats due to my lack of comprehensive skills. I still do not say how being with a gay guy or a 'tranny' will adjust his feelings, outlook, and anxiety.

Why should a gay person or a 'tranny' be so different? Something is not adding up for me here, and I think generalizations and sterotypes are being mixed in and thrown around.

I dont think him being with people with a different someone of a different sexual preference is going to work 'better' for them (as if a gay guy or tranny will be intellectually fulfilling or a better match, simply due to their sexual preference).

But hey, im a little confused at this whole thread anyway.

 

Of course you're confused. It's clear as day as far as i'm concerned.

 

Of course a gay guy or a tranny will be more intellectually fulfilling. DUH! Oh and it has nothing to do with "simply due due to their sexual preference" as you say. Of course not...duh! It has to do with the OP not really liking or trusting women.

 

Please go back and read his past posts if you don't believe me.

[Letranger]

Of course you're confused. It's clear as day as far as i'm concerned.

 

Of course a gay guy or a tranny will be more intellectually fulfilling. DUH! Oh and it has nothing to do with "simply due due to their sexual preference" as you say. Of course not...duh! It has to do with the OP not really liking or trusting women.

 

Please go back and read his past posts if you don't believe me.

 

You are really not being kind about it. I said I may be confused, and i don't think i am the only one. Repeatedly saying 'duh' to me over and over is really insulting.

you are the only one to come up with your conclusion, and no one is agreeing with you, so it is possible, respectfully, that you might be the one confused here.

Ok, because he may not 'trust' women, as you say, does not mean he is gay or would be happier with a gay person or tranni. Why would he be happier that route? because he may 'trust' them more?

Does your sexual preference or desire gravitate towards the same sex when you don't trust a woman?

 

You really seem to attack this person and anyone that may disagree with you. He may not be the only one with issues here.

[sb129]

She is a woman and it seems no woman is happy in her marriage these days. I meant my vows but she won't mean her when she walks out on me.

 

:rolleyes::rolleyes:

 

And if you leave her, you will confirm the fears of all those women out there who are scared of their Hs leaving for no reason.

 

 

You are never satisfied with anything. You have a great gal and you find every reason to think that she is evil. I hope that she stumbles across this board and see's how you truly feel about her. You go ahead and divorce her and then come back on and tell us how evil she is as well as the rest of the gender, while deep down you are kicking yourself in the as$ because you know that divorcing her will be the biggest mistake you have ever made.

 

I agree.

 

The only reason you should divorce your wife is because she deserves better than to be stuck with a messed up misogynist that will cut her loose on his slightest whim.

 

Right now my wife has done nothing wrong but I am scared. With current marriage trends the way they are can you honestly blame a man for being a bit worried? There are men getting blindsided left and right today when they thought they had a happy marriage and I am sick of the axiety I have because I fear that. It feels like I am standing in a battlefield praying that one of those bullets don't hit me.

 

I am getting married next year, and I don't give a sh** about "trends". My fiances parents are divorced, which statistically means we have a higher chance of getting divorced ourselves.... but I am not going to not marry him because of it.

 

 

I hate reality shows so no. Women have a very hard time understanding where I am coming from. They don't know what it is like to do everything right and the man in their life still resents the hell out of them. They don't know what it is like to think they had a great thing but their spouse all of a sudden drops the bomb on them. They just don't understand the fear that I have.

 

 

EVERYONE has insecurities and fears. ITs not a gender- exclusive thing.

 

Woggle, you are a smart man, but when it comes to this topic, all rationality and intelligence you have goes out the window.

 

Have you stopped to consider all the heartbroken people on LS who HAVE been cheated on, who HAVE been dumped, whose spouses HAVE left them, and bless them, the unfortunate ones whose spouses/ partners have died?

 

If any one of them read your threads which are basically worries about nothing that can be substantiated, they must think "WTF is he on about, I WISH I had a loving W/H still."...... your posts are a serious slap in the face to those people, which confirms to me your self absorption.

 

Get a grip. If I came across a thread like this written by my fiance, I would call off our wedding- because these kind of feelings DESTROY relationships. You are on a self destruct mission, and if your marriage fails, you will only have yourself to blame.

[Letranger]

Yep, I'm sad.

My husband is killing himself as we speak.

Yes, I love women...wow, they're so hot!

Yep, I'm insane and completely nuts. How did you know?

 

Yep, I'm abrasive. Nope, I don't really see it.

 

So what's your point again?

 

You ignored what i was trying to say and also proved my point. You didn't like your own words being referred to you and you felt the need to make a joke of it.

 

You felt ATTACKED and responded defensively! Do you not see it?

 

This discussion was about Woggle. I don't think he posted it to be called completly nuts, sad, closet gay, and having a suicidal wife.

Don't you think you should try actually helping instead of making light of his situation and writing funny quips to impress yourself and try to impress others?

 

Have you started a thread on your own issues, because I beginning to think its quite obvious you are projecting what is bothering you and the issues in your life/relationships through lashing out at Woggle.

 

I will read your response tomorrow for i have just recieved a page, but please think carefully about what I said. I think its obvious to everyone but yourself, and you may have issues that need to be discussed.

 

Woggle, i would pay attention to SB129's post. That seems to have been written with much thought and has much clarification.

[sally4sara]

I don't think I'm ever going to read another thread by you Wog. Every time I do, my brain starts to melt over how much of a hypocrite you are.

 

I went back and read your list of rules for men when dating.

You are the male version of exactly what you warn about. Mood swings. Instead of the word patriarchy you use modern feminist. Instead of taking women's studies you prowl sites that disparage women. Women are materialistic but you were the one handing your woman a prenup. And as for how women leave their men without provocation.........what are you talking about doing here? You are considering leaving you wife even though she has done nothing to deserve it.

 

You are the living, breathing, and typing example that all your statements about how women are this and that while men are not is wrong. Are you TRYING to be just like your mother and ex?!?!

[Pyro]

You should probably just divorce her. Whether you are with her or not you are going to always hate women, but at least if you are single, you will give her a fair shot at meeting someone who will respect her in the way that she rightfully deserves and you won't have this anxiety.

 

5 pages worth of helpful tips and advice and you are still set in your stubborn ways.

[Woggle]

If I am that way then I became that way because I am tired of being a doormat. I don't think that I am the male version of what I hate though because I am not trying to hurt women for no reason but I can't take thia anxiety anymore. I worry myself sick wondering what she really thinks of me. As for prenups I worked my ass off for what I have and I will be damned if my wife just takes it all if she decides to turn on me. With women's unstable nature and the way they turn on men at the drop of a dime every man should have a prenup. A man needs that protection just in case. I just don't know what to do.

[a4a]

You should probably just divorce her. Whether you are with her or not you are going to always hate women, but at least if you are single, you will give her a fair shot at meeting someone who will respect her in the way that she rightfully deserves and you won't have this anxiety.

 

5 pages worth of helpful tips and advice and you are still set in your stubborn ways.

 

It is a need to get the result he wants to prove Mommy was wrong, Women are wrong, he is not.

 

Unfortunatley this will never be resolved because the comfort and short term relief he gets from his current way of thinking is easier to attain than doing the work to really make himself happy.

 

It is sad, nothing will change it.

 

The only thing that might is exposing (scary to him) his true self to his wife and going into MC with her. I don't think that will happen.

 

Within the next year his W will make some minor error - it will be blown out of proportion (like the bitter buddy thing) and he will throw her out of HIS house.

 

I have to start to wonder about the 1st wife now. 3 sides to every story - his, hers, and the truth.

[a4a]

If I am that way then I became that way because I am tired of being a doormat. I don't think that I am the male version of what I hate though because I am not trying to hurt women for no reason but I can't take thia anxiety anymore. I worry myself sick wondering what she really thinks of me. As for prenups I worked my ass off for what I have and I will be damned if my wife just takes it all if she decides to turn on me. With women's unstable nature and the way they turn on men at the drop of a dime every man should have a prenup. A man needs that protection just in case. I just don't know what to do.

 

when have you been a doormat?

 

and you know what to do ...... tell your wife.

[Woggle]

I don't want to end up like this guy.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t142912/

[Pyro]

It is a need to get the result he wants to prove Mommy was wrong, Women are wrong, he is not.

 

Unfortunatley this will never be resolved because the comfort and short term relief he gets from his current way of thinking is easier to attain than doing the work to really make himself happy.

 

It is sad, nothing will change it.

 

The only thing that might is exposing (scary to him) his true self to his wife and going into MC with her. I don't think that will happen.

 

Within the next year his W will make some minor error - it will be blown out of proportion (like the bitter buddy thing) and he will throw her out of HIS house.

 

I have to start to wonder about the 1st wife now. 3 sides to every story - his, hers, and the truth.

 

He already said that he doesn't want his friends to know this side of him because he doesn't want anyone to know that he has this "messed" up side to him, so do you really think that he will expose this side of him to his wife?

 

Its a shame because he keeps saying how great she is and he is going to eventually miss out on it.

[Pyro]

when have you been a doormat?

 

and you know what to do ...... tell your wife.

 

I wonder this too. You keep claiming that you don't take crap from anyone, so since when are you a doormat?

[jmargel]

You need individual counseling. Your lack or trust is scary. You're wife has done nothing wrong to you! If you expect things to happen in a bad way, you are going to make them turn out that way.

 

Life doesn't come with an instruction manual, we don't know what's on the next page. What if she were to die tomorrow. Would you be relieved? Or would you feel guilt stricten because you did not trust your wife the way you should?

 

You can divorce her, and you can live a very lonely life. When you are old and eventually die, you can die knowing that you weren't taken for everything you got by these evil women, however you will have lived a life of loneliness. A life that has lacked so much that it was capable of.

 

You need to stop looking for problems that are not there. Put your efforts into promoting and showing her all the love you can in this marriage. By your attitude and thinking, you are hurting this marriage. Don't you get tired of feeling this way?

[Woggle]

I am not a doormat but I feel that if I give up my misogyny I will get steamrolled. My misogyny gives me a spine.

[a4a]

I am not a doormat but I feel that if I give up my misogyny I will get steamrolled. My misogyny gives me a spine.

 

As for your thread he describes a woman he married who had some serious issues before M. Your wife is like that?? If so you suck at choosing partners.

 

 

Woggle just admit that your misogyny stems from your mother. Step one.

[Pyro]

I am not a doormat but I feel that if I give up my misogyny I will get steamrolled. My misogyny gives me a spine.

 

That misogyny will also cause you to die a lonely man.

 

Self confidence gives you a spine.

 

If you believe that misogyny gives you a spine, then you need counseling and fast.

[a4a]

I am not a doormat but I feel that if I give up my misogyny I will get steamrolled. My misogyny gives me a spine.

 

Actually it makes you a wimp that is too much of a puss to even tell his wife who he really is. It is kinda funny....... you fear your wife. You turn yourself into a doormat....... well a secret doormat.

 

You cannot even let her know who you are....... talk about chasing your own tail.

[Woggle]

My wife is everything a man can want in a woman though it is strange how nobody scooped her up earlier and she decided to settle down with me. Sometimes I have no clue what she sees in me. If everybody around you is getting a disease it is hard not to be think you will get it eventually as well.