Squiddy44 Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 I’m new hear and in desperate need of some advice. Me and my wife have been married for 4 year’s. Two weeks ago after I came home from work I discovered that she had left. Like I said we have been married for four years but the last three it’s been a struggle for us. Three year’s ago my wife went to a friends place and they went out to the bar (she turned 21 five days before we got married). She met a guy there and they kind of hit it off. She always claimed that he was just a friend. And I trusted her enough to not get involved. But after about a month of them talking on the phone. She went back up to her friends house and met up with this guy again. Well one thing led to another and she ended up cheating on me with him (she alwasy tryed to pass it off as a drunken mistake). Well after she told me, I insisted that she never speak to him again. But she kept on pushing the issue that he was just a friend for three or four months after she cheated. Finally one day I had enough and just told her it was either me or him. Well she picked me. Ever since that situation happen it has kind of haunted me. I trust my wife now but it was the way she dealt with the situation that always got to me. Well After the situation with this guy happen she met a girl form work that she became really good friends with. The girl she met was single. And loved going out to the bar. Well for two and half years they have made it a point to go to the bar every chance they get . Yes my wife would ask me to go some times but I didn’t feel the need to go out all the time. Maybe now that I think about it I should have gone but I didn’t. Well at first when my wife would go out it would be for a couple of hours. Then in the last year or so she has been spending the night at this friends house (she live in a different town then use). Now mind you this has gone on every weekend for the last two year. Well about every six months we would get into a huge fight about it and nothing ever got resolved. I would tell her how I felt but it felt like it never sank in. Well two weeks ago my wife left me to stay at her friend’s house. And she left me a Note saying that I was Overly controlling. What do I do? Link to post Share on other sites
sadhubby Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 file for divorce im relizing my situation is much like yours i married my wife when she was 21 and i went through the same thing 2 p.a. and one emotional one in 8yrs . she thinks theres somthing shes missing and it aint you. read alot here is kinda the same old song and dance. sorry to be a bummer but shes staying at freinds house for the weekends sounds like she is eating alot of cake on the side bro. Link to post Share on other sites
StillSame Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 she left me a Note saying that I was Overly controlling. Was she trying to be funny? What kind of wife goes to a bar any chance she got? How did you find out about the affair (that they slept together)? How do you know she was not or has not beeing involved in another affair? Link to post Share on other sites
PinkRibbon Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 I don't know about women but my husband's friends were all college age people and he is 38 and they were all single. We had no married friends we hung out with or at least not him all my friends were married. Needless to say the going out with them for beers and the strip clubs and having lunch and dinner eventually became more important than me and my daughter. He used the "controlling" word also. But I didn't complain I just wanted to go some also but it was for "work" people only. Yea right my tushy. People like that never grow up and the lure of their single buddies are always more exciting than a "nag" at home. You could not have said a word and there still would have been something you did.Sorry this is happening because it sucks like heck when this happens. Link to post Share on other sites
ZEN357 Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 I’m new hear and in desperate need of some advice. Me and my wife have been married for 4 year’s. Two weeks ago after I came home from work I discovered that she had left. Like I said we have been married for four years but the last three it’s been a struggle for us. Three year’s ago my wife went to a friends place and they went out to the bar (she turned 21 five days before we got married). She met a guy there and they kind of hit it off. She always claimed that he was just a friend. And I trusted her enough to not get involved. But after about a month of them talking on the phone. She went back up to her friends house and met up with this guy again. Well one thing led to another and she ended up cheating on me with him (she alwasy tryed to pass it off as a drunken mistake). Well after she told me, I insisted that she never speak to him again. But she kept on pushing the issue that he was just a friend for three or four months after she cheated. Finally one day I had enough and just told her it was either me or him. Well she picked me. Ever since that situation happen it has kind of haunted me. I trust my wife now but it was the way she dealt with the situation that always got to me. Well After the situation with this guy happen she met a girl form work that she became really good friends with. The girl she met was single. And loved going out to the bar. Well for two and half years they have made it a point to go to the bar every chance they get . Yes my wife would ask me to go some times but I didn’t feel the need to go out all the time. Maybe now that I think about it I should have gone but I didn’t. Well at first when my wife would go out it would be for a couple of hours. Then in the last year or so she has been spending the night at this friends house (she live in a different town then use). Now mind you this has gone on every weekend for the last two year. Well about every six months we would get into a huge fight about it and nothing ever got resolved. I would tell her how I felt but it felt like it never sank in. Well two weeks ago my wife left me to stay at her friend’s house. And she left me a Note saying that I was Overly controlling. What do I do? You need to get rid of your wife!!! To all men, DO NOT let s woman control you. If they cheat on you get rid of them. Find a new one and be upfront with them. Tell them you are gonna make it simple, you cheat on me, and it's over. If they cheat on you, kick their butt to the curb. Eventually, they will learn one day, that this crap, "We are just friends...." doesn't work. To all men, DO NOT even let a woman put you down or think that because they have a vagina they are superior, BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT! All men, grow a set and stand up for yourself! I would rather be alone for all of my life, than live with a controlling or cheating woman! Link to post Share on other sites
Nomad1 Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Save yourself a lot of pain by divorcing her straight away. Read all the stories here. You were just unlucky to end up with someone like her. Be decisive, Don't waste your life trying to understand her. There is nothing to understand other than the fact that she likes to sleep around and does not want you to get in the way. Nomad1 Link to post Share on other sites
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