Rhythm28 Posted May 27, 2005 Share Posted May 27, 2005 Don't know if anyone out there has dealt with something like this before. Friend and I decided to date after years of friendship. Things were GREAT for the first week. We even slept together a few times. As the weeks go by I sense some "hesitation" on her part. Not calling back, "missing" voice mails, etc. I know she has been in bad relationships before and has chosen unavailable partners. Seems to me like she's carrying some emotional baggage. Where it stems from, I don't know. How could something be so good one week and terrible the next? It makes no sense to me. What causes commitmentphobia in women? . Hurt from the past? Maybe as far back to when she was just a little girl? Anyway, we split over the weekend. I couldn't take her actions and behavior anymore. We did talk for about 20 minutes a few days later but I don't know if it was to break it off formally or keep the lines of communication open. She did hint at the future and the conversation never really got ugly. She also said that now she wants to concentrate on work, going back to school and her upcoming move. Those were her excuses for not wanting to be in a relationship right now and just a month ago she swore I was the one for her! Hadn't spoken in days then out of the blue she calls at midnight looking fo a mutual friend's number that was standing no more than 10 feet from her in a casino! What's up with that? Would really like to hear from commitmentphobic women and partners of commitmentphobic women. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
philius Posted June 4, 2005 Share Posted June 4, 2005 This is such a sad problem. I'm 21 and have been dating an amazing girl for almost four months. We we're doing great, then we got a hotel room together one night. The next day, I was full of so much fear and anxiety. I didn't even eat. I felt scared to be with her. All I wanted to do is run, but I told her my feelings, she understood and were trying to work them out. I'm just very frusturted. I think I love this girl. I get so afraid though. I really have a desire to make this work. I'm hoping that once I get through all these bad feelings, I'll discover that I do love her and want to stay with her. She is incredible. I hate the fact that I can't appreciate how lucky I am. What is holding me back? I'm very frusturated with the whole hunt is sweeter than the kill analogy. That's how I feel sometimes. It sucks. I want to want to make a commitment to this amazing girl, but something is holding me back. It's not the feeling of wanting to be with other girls. I don't know what it is. I had this problem in my last relationship. This want t o want commitment feeling. I'm really determined to beat this though. I know I'll want her if she goes, or I break up with her. I need to want her that badly while I have her. Any suggestions. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Knowing me Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Oh man! I'm another 21 year old female commitment-phobe. (maybe it's something in our generation?) I broke up with my girlfriend of 7 months last night. (Yes, I'm bi or possibly gay) Now I find out that i'm CP. Yes, these posts all sound like me. I can especially identify with nomoreofthat's boyfriend. I went through that whole "i need a break", "need to sort my head out", "please don't hate me" you know i love you" phase. I felt scared usually in monthly cycles. Ive hurt the girl who considers me her soulmate. I look at her and think "what have I done?!" I want to just pull her back and love her again. But even now that thought fills me with panic. I want her, I don't want her. I need her, I don't need her. I love her, I don't love her. Somebody help. Where's the genie in the bottle? That seems to be the only cure. Link to post Share on other sites
Triton Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Ahhhhhh -commitment phobia, I am currently"involved " with yet another commitment phobe! Another female CP i should say, I am also currently getting divorced from another one but thats another story..... I met the recent CP seven months ago, we clicked from day one, had a very highly charged 3- 4 months, talked about marriage, kids , the lot...Looked at houses to buy together , developed long term plans..she was very open, " I love you so much" etc etc All the classic beginning signs.... Then as I was about to move in with her... she freaked out and said She didnt want to make long term plans with me?? Wanted to live for now?? Set several conditions on out relationship continuing... Stupidly I agreed , we resolved matters , I didnt move into her house..and things returned to normal...Time moved on , we discussed the future and how we were perhaps rushing things and we decided that we should try living together again.. we were spending all our time together any way so.... One week before this was due to happen we were out shopping for a new refrigerator for our new home together!She started an argument over a comment I made.. nothing major and then demanded to be taken home..I drove her home , she slammed the door of the car and then the door of her house.. I then left and went home.. No contact from her for a couple of days...I tried to call her, she wouldnt answer..Finally she did saying we would talk the next day... The next day she sent a text message saying she had sent an email.. I checked , she had... It was a detailed list of all the money she had spent on"us" in the last 6 months and a demand for re-imbursement?????? She detailed all my percieved faults and was really quite hurtful... The email was 14 paragraphs of unjustified criticism... I then noticed that she had CCed my parents on the email!!! As expected i recieved a call from my mother asking what was happening?? I explained, her comment was " I expected this" Hmmmm... So I was belittled , embarassed with my family and sent a bill!!All this from someone that " loved me so much and wanted to spend our lives together", only a few days before!!! All of this from nowhere...no real warning signs..we had been on a fantastic holiday the week before!! Another item on the list for reimbursement BTW....we were moving in together in a week... It was her idea for me to move in with her...I had offered to rent for another 6 months until she was ready.. she insisted that I move in to her place...Then all this... The CP is an intelligent ,articulate, attractive , funny, and usually caring person...I was stunned to say the least.. Her background... 37 years old.. Absent father during her child hood Over-caring mother.. Never married No children Career woman A series of short relationships.. claims to have been basically single for the last 8 years.. A common theme???? So where to from here... I am basically NC and have sent her a cheque for what I feel is an appropriate amount... There has been some communication... She sent a text message to me saying "Meet you at the shop at 1.30pm X" I replied "what???shop?? X??" She replied "wrong number. go away" Interesting....A deliberate ploy??Testing my reaction?? An honest mistake??Who knows?? So nothing since .. a week now... I had read " hes scared, shes cared " a while ago and really should have known better.. This is my second CP experience, The key to surviving this is to accept that the CP has the problem and that you have done nothing wrong but shared your love.... Never ever again.... Link to post Share on other sites
Knowing me Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Is there any hope for us CPs then?! Link to post Share on other sites
kilombo Posted June 22, 2005 Share Posted June 22, 2005 Ha. This deserves an entire website to itself. I'm not into commitment. I travel for work, I've always chosen work over my boyfriend, wherever he is. Finally, I decide to commit to working in the city where my parents live. Since then, I went back to an ex. When things got intense, I left him. He said fine, he's too old and could never commit to the family I would want in the future anyway. I started seeing someone else. He suited me just fine, because we never focused too much on each other anyway. It turns out he's a highly functioning autistic. We're still good friends. I went back to my ex, it was an open-ended relationship but I didn't do anything else with anyone anyway. Now my contract is nearly done but my ex got a promotion, and he asked me to move in with him. That was definitely not in the plans. Now I've got insomnia when I share a bed with my ex. When I finally do sleep, I get wierd dreams. Since he asked me to move in, I met someone else and nearly cheated, I find myself having feelings for the new guy although he's almost a perfect stranger. I'm leaving for Cuba as soon as finish my work here. The panic I feel on a daily basis leaves me tierd and depressed. Usually I'm just really happy dating and flirting and having a good time, though. I think that I might be able to commit once I have a steady permanent job, but also, I think it would help if I were to own my own place to live. Then I would feel independent enough to commit. I'm open about this to the guys that I'm with, so that helps. It just sucks when someone pushes the envelope anyway, especially someone like my ex, who I've known for nearly 10 years, he was my first love. Eek. Link to post Share on other sites
Rhythm28 Posted June 22, 2005 Share Posted June 22, 2005 What percentage of commitmentphobes call back their ex's? It's been almost a month since I've heard from mine. Sticking with NC. Mine called a week after we broke up but to ask for a friend's phone number who happened to be standing 10 feet from her! Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 22, 2005 Share Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by Rhythm28 What percentage of commitmentphobes call back their ex's? In my experience, ALL of them. And with the clear - often explicit - aim of getting back with me.The Juliets can't commit to being with me, but can't commit to being without me, either. The more CP they are, the more they come back. If only they were as persistent in the relationship But I usually end up with one particular sub-specie of CP - you may experience different results from another brand. Link to post Share on other sites
Triton Posted June 22, 2005 Share Posted June 22, 2005 I agree, they always come back up until a point.... They like to know that you are available to them.. I think its like a piece of string , they pull on it to make sure you are still there then run again... Pleaser note all of the stories from CPs about the on again off again nature of their relationships... The key to having a CP return is to ignore them , dont respond when the string is pulled.. This sets off a whole other panic.... I sound very bitter about all this but I have had 3 CPs in a row!!!! a CP magnet... Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 22, 2005 Share Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by Triton I sound very bitter about all this but I have had 3 CPs in a row!!!! a CP magnet... Sorry to say this, but you need to take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror. Once can be an accident, twice coincidence, but three times is a definite pattern. Link to post Share on other sites
Triton Posted June 22, 2005 Share Posted June 22, 2005 I agree, three in a row is not a good record.... I am taking a good hard look at myself right now....Perhaps my choices are not good , a run of bad luck.. or I am looking for this type of relationship.... I was very surprised at the most recent one,to be honest I am still stunned... in hindsight all the signs were there and I should have known better... It still hurts though to be cut out of someones life....for no real reason... I intend to be very cautious in the future... a sad situation but I will not go through all this again... Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 22, 2005 Share Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by Triton I was very surprised at the most recent one,to be honest I am still stunned... in hindsight all the signs were there and I should have known better... It still hurts though to be cut out of someones life....for no real reason... Yeah, this sucks. A bolt from the blue - one day it's "marry me", the next "you're dumped". I'm sorry man. A therapist could help diagnose what exactly is going on. In the meantime, check out the romantic history of girls before making a commitment. Going slowly and taking space helps too - you get to see the warning signs before things get heavy. Plus the girl doesn't "strike" early. Link to post Share on other sites
Triton Posted June 22, 2005 Share Posted June 22, 2005 A therapist actually suggested that No 3 was a CP... he asked if I was aware of the term and his analysis was that she definitely was.... I was still stunned when she broke it off, I consider myself a reasonably intelligent 40 year old man..... Love is blind... Link to post Share on other sites
Triton Posted June 22, 2005 Share Posted June 22, 2005 I intend to be very cautious in the future... I will be taking sometime out to regroup... Thig is... I know on past form that it is highly likely that CP3 will be back... it will take some strength to turn her away.. I loved this girl.... But I guess this is all I can do for my own sake...This does suck!! As the book says .. You have usually seen the best of them at the start... Life goes on.....etc..etc..etc Link to post Share on other sites
Dee15 Posted August 17, 2005 Share Posted August 17, 2005 Hi was wondering if anyone can help......... I met this guy about 2 years ago and we became very good friends. Within months of our friendship we started fooling around. He kept sending me roses adn always doing sweet things for me and told me he loved me. In January we decided to get serious. In the beginning he wrote me cards with all these sweet things in it, took me out all the time, bought me roses every week, and began saying he wanted to marry me( which kind of freaked me out at first b/c I recently got out of a 4 1/2 year relationship). Within months, he would hang out with his friends all the time and not include me in things. On night I asked him to go out somewhere with me and he turned me down to sit at home and watch a baseball game with his male roommate. (I dont mind watching sports- I am a former college athlete but he tends to do this a lot) Two months ago i found an e-mail he sent to his ex-gf while we were together saying that he misses her and its impossible to not think of her. After I questioned him this month about the e-mail, he told me it was nothing and said he needs some time and space. So he ignored my calls and messages. After days of not calling or texting him, I told him to meet me somewhere to talk. He met me and told me that he is not sure if he is in love with me, that he was more stressed than happy when we were together (which could have fooled me because I received flowers from him a week earlier and just bought him new golf clubs, which he was excited about, for his b-day) he then continued by telling me he doesnt wanna nor intend on getting married anytime soon...(meanwhile he was the one who brought it up all the time- not me). And that he cant give me the time or attention I need. (this is the worst part- he promised to take me to Florida as a graduate school graduation gift in June -the trip was planned for August, something came up in the beginning of August and then he promised a friend he would help out at a basketball camp this week and next week was supposed to go away with the "guys". When we sat and talked, he told me the original place he was supposed to go with the fellas fell through and now he is going with them to Florida- where he was supposed to take me). After not calling him he started sending me messages goodnight and i miss you but nothing else. This guys went from being too good to be true to a total 360 degree change. Was wondering is this Commitment Phobia? Link to post Share on other sites
Chuck20 Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 So here is my situation. About a year and a half ago, I started dating a girl I met through my sister. We dated casually for a couple of months and we decided to get serious because we were both falling in love with each other. We ended up dating for a year after that. About 7 months in I was planning a move back to my home town and asked her to come with me. She seemed stunned that my company had ok'ed the move and that I was ACTUALLY going to do it, even though we had talked about it before hand. Things didn't go over that well. I ended up doing some soul searching and didn't do the move. Later on over the summer, I had my high school 10 year reunion which of course I brought her. I spent the whole night with her, but for a brief moment later on I was talking to 2 friends I had not seen in 10 years for about 20 minutes. She made a huge scene and got angry with me. After these events I feel like things sort of changed for me. I don't know if it was because of them or if it was just something else. I started feeling trapped and smothered and feeling like I wanted to be single again. I was envious of my friends who would come and go freely in their lives and date other women and have a good time. It's not that I was unhappy with her, it's just that I started feeling it more and more. My feelings for her however, were and still are immense. Seeing her hurt or in any kind of pain churned my stomach and I would do anything to try and fix it. I eventually told her how I was feeling and as you can imagine, the relationship ended. She promptly left town and moved far away back to her home town where she currently is now. We kept in touch, and I have since moved away as well. Time passed and I knew I still had feelings for her that were overwhelming. I have been suffering from depression and I feel constant guilt due to her state in life. She is still in love with me, and things have not panned well for her since she moved. I feel responsible for all of it and it hurts more than anything. I recently scheduled a visit for her to come and see me for the weekend. The weekend was great. She was reluctant to come, but she decided to anyway because she knew I still had feelings for her. On her last day, I felt like I wanted her to stay, but I seemed to pull everything back because something wouldn't let me commit to her moving to be with me. She of course now views me as being full of BS about everything and feels that I don't "love her enough". It's tearing me apart and I feel like an awful person because she is this wonderful person who loves me more than anything, and I don't seem willing to take a chance. I keep thinking that I will be missing out on something if I commit to her. I am a very independent person, who enjoys their freedom. I also have problems because I often desire other women. I certainly don't act on it, but the feeling is there. I am afraid to ask her to move down here with me half way across the country and then hurt her again. I wouldn't be able to handle that. She says that it's because I don't love her, and don't want to be with her. I don't know if that's really it. I can't imagine feeling stronger for anything than I do for her. What is making me so afraid to commit to this relationship? Is it because I am really not ready? I feel like I need more time, but any more time will result in her not wanting me in her life anymore. What is the right thing for me to do? Should I just go with it even though I have these strong reservations? Or should I wait to see if the reservations go away? What if they never go away? Link to post Share on other sites
hjb226 Posted September 16, 2005 Share Posted September 16, 2005 I believe my girlfriend is commitment phobic. We've been together for over 2 years, but she always keeps a distance between us that is starting to make me resent her. I'm starting to lose patience with things that normally do not bother me and we're fighting a lot. She says she wants marriage and a family whenever we talk about it. She even brings it up sometimes all by herself, but it's mostly offhand comments that don't carry much meaning. Like she's throwing me a bone. We aren't moving forward at all, and we aren't as close as I have been with women I've been with in the past. She is pretty constantly upset about things that wouldn't really bother a normal secure person. She puts extra meaning into things and interprets them as reasons why she couldn't possibly commit to me now, but she wants to someday. She often tells me she's waiting for ME to be ready. She's analyzing and thinking and there are always lots of excuses for things. It takes a lot of energy and patience for me to just accept all this. The fact is, I have no idea where we're going. I really think she'd be just fine with dating for 10 years and never even moving in together. It's wearing on me and I'm starting to show my frustration in other areas. So either I have faith in her and trust what she says, or I just move on. She's shown little staying power in her previous relationships. She's been married twice. Once she left a good guy for selfish reasons the other guy she shouldn't have married at all. She was engaged just before me, but the guy went kind of crazy with her when she showed little motivation after saying yes. Maybe she shouldn't have said yes. Maybe he shouldn't have asked. I'm waiting for a sign that I should move, one way or the other. I really love her and I know a marriage with her would be wonderful, but it takes two. i dont know why but i can see where she is comming from and why she is acting the way she does. i have a very very similar situation with her except unlike her she still with you and not chasing you away. i have done that and continue to do that because i hve had to be the emotional support for not my mother, but my father. my mom ( as much as i love her ) was not the greatest of moms and partners. i grew up with constant cheating, yelling, being woken up in middle of the night b/c my mom would disappear and i would be the only one home watching my 3 younger siblings b/c i took the role of taking care fo them when she would go off to the bars and party all night. my father was working 7days a week as a journey man and come home to argueing with my mom and no dinner every made. in my entire chiild hood i dont remeber my mom cooking dinner for the family to all sit down at the table and eat as family. it was more like argueing and then abusiveness and then she woudl take off again. my parent split up 14 years ago now. and still are feuding in court over child support and the whole bit. i always took my daad as someone who was tough and didnt show emotions well i finally witnessed my dad cry and seen how miserable he was. and i liked being there for him when no one else was me and my dad are like best friends we tell each other everything almost and have been through so much that if i went in depth i would have a collection of novels. i always swore i would be better then that and if i had kids i would treat them to anything and make sure they were happy and had that happy ending with a husband that i could truely be inlove with and no matter what problems arrised it would be worked out and having the house of my dreams and a family of my own. im not 20 and im still young and not looking to rush inot somethng serious. but its hard to open up or trust anyone when someone witness the emotion of anohter and how horrible and miserabel and lonely and lost one of there parents were and the other didnt seem to care, well you grow up seeing that and you just think that it is normal and with your girlfriend being a listening and crying sholder for her mom, she felt what her mom felt the pain the hurt the sadness, and if feeling that for as long as i know i have with my dad you meet these guys and especially for me because i grew up with guys and you hear about how they play girls and they tell you becasue you are considered one fo the guys well you just start to think naturally that happiness doesnt last forever and why open up completely and commit completely if its not going to last. prevent from getting hurt again and dealing with a broken heart all over again. so in answer to your question, keep by her side and help her get through it, if you really love her be ther for her, she does need you and if you leave it would only prove that theory to be true adn she would end up really breaking down and probably never find love again or someone that she is willing to commit to. by you being there liek you are and being patient with her it is slowly proving the theory of happiness not lasting forever wrong. adn she will slowly realize and slowly begin to be 100% ready that you are the right one. your only allowed 3 great ones in life her first two marriages failed probably b/c they were not willing to be patient with her and they were only looking out for what they wanted and were ready for. you are still aruond you could be her angel that takes her away from all teh pain and all the fear and one day be happy with your own family... by you being there and supporting her and lettingher know you arent going anywhere whether you believe it or not it is helping her whether you see a change or not it is changing her she is just being cautios of her feelings and trust me she is seeing that you are still around and that you love her for her. she will come around when she does all the work and effort you have put to helping her see all that will be well worth it. just sit her down and talk to her and keep talking to her and let her know you are there for her no matter what. now if only i coudl do that or find someone that is willing to be patient with me or try to understand why i am the way i am but all i can do is try to change but like they say easier said then done. 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jasmine04 Posted October 29, 2005 Share Posted October 29, 2005 "...naturally that happiness doesnt last forever and why open up completely and commit completely if its not going to last. prevent from getting hurt again and dealing with a broken heart all over again. so in answer to your question, keep by her side and help her get through it, if you really love her be ther for her, she does need you and if you leave it would only prove that theory to be true adn she would end up really breaking down and probably never find love again or someone that she is willing to commit to. " hi, i'm jasmine. i just had to reply to your post. what you just said is sooooo much like how my ex/limbo-bf/baby's father acts all the time. His mom was always running around with men and his dad remarried but somehow he is a classic commitment-phobe. every definition i read and every story about commitment phobes sounds EXACTLY like what i'm going through what i HAVE gone through for over 5 years now. so I have a question that i hope you can answer. you say that the guy you quoted should just stick it out with his commitment phobe (CP) gf. Okay, so I have continued to "stick it out" with my bf for 5 years, despite cheating... and lots of manipulation to get me to break up with him - which quite frankly has been incredibly abusive. We now have a 1 year old daughter. I even moved half-way across the country to get out of the vicious cycle that i feel he creates and i play into. He lured me back to Seattle just a month ago with the prospect of marriage - but ever since I got here he has done his absolute best to demonize me and pick on me... lie to me... anything to give him all the freedom he wants including what he calls "dating" other people which really means he wants to have flings, sex and break up with whoever he can seduce. i don't know how to deal with seeing him on a constant basis as he always wants to see our daughter but insists on being as distant from me as possible even though we've had lots of passion and romance and all the hooplah in the past... i'm so confused and i just don't know how to get through my life anymore.. i want to join a site for CP's but they want $50... anyway.. i'd love if anyone had any good advice.. especially active CP's who can understand his perspective. i feel like he is crazy because of his CP: totally illogical and very abusive too... yet he claims he doesn't want to hurt me.. its so much BS.. anyway, i'd love feedback. thanks so much!!! jasmine in seattle... CP victim Link to post Share on other sites
jasmine04 Posted October 29, 2005 Share Posted October 29, 2005 dear chuck 20, so i don't know if read my post.. but you sound like a version of my ex/off-on/bf i REALLY don't think you're "not ready" i reallythink you should get help... just looking online tonight i found a CP workbook for $15 and some interesting books too. wow, if you would really make an effort to face your fears I think you'd be a great guy and really doing not only yourself, possibly your ex a big favor... maybe you see how damaging your phobia is but maybe you don't... i'm glad you don't sound as self-centered as my ex... i highly recommend getting real help or at least making a real effort to face/get over the root of your fears. all the best to you -- God bless, Jasmine Link to post Share on other sites
jasmine04 Posted October 29, 2005 Share Posted October 29, 2005 Hi, I am a male and to cut a long sad story short I recognise my girlfriend in all/most of the posts in this thread. I have a question to all you ladies who personally suffer from commitment phobia. Is there anything the man in your life / potential man in your life can do to help you through it all into a mutually rewarding relationship? hey to the male version of me! my long story short - my bf is the same as all the commitmentphobes in the posts on this thread - male AND female.. yeah.. i've been posting on other threads.. and i say.. what gives??? now we even have a child and he treats me REALLY bad now... only if he has LOTS of freedom is he nice.. and even then blows small things out of proportion... i think now he even wants me to let him date other ppl... its been about a year since either of us has had sex.. i understand sex desires but damn, we used to have A-MAAAZING sex.. and now he's so freaked out that he won't even kiss me.. i'm just so angry now at the verbal and emotional abuse i'm recieving but now i can't even seem to escape becuase of our baby and money reasons. i feel like he's ruined mylife... well, and i've ruined it by playing along with his CP games... i know EVENTUALLY i will be able to improve my life.. but for now.. i hardly know how to cope... my friend told me today that i have to understand that he is crazy or sick.. and it occured to me today that maybe i am too for having stuck with him ... anyway, my friend said if i understand that he is "sick" then i won't be so angry or hateful. it still doesn't change how badly i have been treated - its killer on my self-esteem but i KNOW i don't deserve how i've been treated.. although he's argued me and beat my heart to a pulp practically... i feel like a damn dormat.. but then he says "no! i don't want you to be a doormat. i just want my freedom..." i want him to get counseling but i know he'll just say "jesus is my counselor in my heart" ... well, he's obviously not listening then.. all i can say is.. what gives... how can these CP freaks keep shredding hearts without a second thought.. i'm so torn up and pissed. but then.. maybe i'm just mad at me for ruining my own life... Link to post Share on other sites
Triton Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 Not sure if anyone has been following any of my story here but my commitment phobe has resurfaced after 10 weeks!! I have moved on but she sparked some interest from me, we flirted a little by email...she rang, I didnt answer, she rang three times..I still didnt answer, we flirted some more by email...she gave me her new number....I emailed that i would call...She then turned ...."You've far from endeared yourself to me in the time I've known you. why do you want to know about me? . Are we in the same solar system?" I did not reply to this and I have heard nothing since...... Just like that, checked to see where I was , what I was up to, gauged some interest from me and then ran again, covering her tracks on the way out...... A classic reaction from a commitment phobe..... Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 I did not reply to this and I have heard nothing since...... Just like that, checked to see where I was , what I was up to, gauged some interest from me and then ran again, covering her tracks on the way out...... Well done for letting it drop. This story is so like the girl who dresses herself up provocatively, goes out flaunting herself and then complains loudly about how many men she has after her and how she wishes they'd just leave her alone... Link to post Share on other sites
Triton Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 Yes RR it is a bit like that... Its strange how their mind works .. I was starting to get drawn back in,thinking of all the possibilities until suddenly I realised , after reading my long post here, that I was being played again..... Sure enough , as soon as it came to some positive action towards her, she ran and put me down on the way out... It must be some sort of justification to themselves....making their behaviour acceptable to themselves... It is certainly not acceptable to me anymore... It is actually very sad... Link to post Share on other sites
Triton Posted December 16, 2005 Share Posted December 16, 2005 Posting to myself here!! You know the weird thing is , I am fighting the urge to reply to the CP, even though I know its a bad move....I keep thinking of suitably witty and charming replies to what was basically a rude brush off from her... Its amazing what a strong addiction the CP relationship can build .... I will not reply..I am aware of the risks in replying...For this vicious cycle to stop one of us has to jump out....It appears that will be me.... Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 Its amazing what a strong addiction the CP relationship can build .... No kidding! Link to post Share on other sites
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