a4a Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 It doesn't work that way. You have to be oblivious to the whole thing. You are not suppose to know. know what? Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 know what? :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
ElvenPriestess Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 Not all married men are so rude and disrespectful as to sit and gawk at other women. The true husbands of the world love their wives and want nobody else. So as others have said, why would I worry about making friends with women who are paying this much attention to my H? I wouldn't. I would know my H well enough and not give a rat's a** about these so called "problematics." (this is hypothetically speaking btw) Bottom line, no self respecting woman would give a MM the time of day, and no self respecting wife would allow herself to be with a man who would give another woman the time of day. Link to post Share on other sites
BareGoddess Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 How sure are you? How about when he is not with you? Why the confused face? I'm 100% sure. That's how sure. If you (general you) knew him, or any man with class, you'd understand. While he might appreciate the beauty of another in passing, the man doesn't "ogle." Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 Looking at a woman does not equal cheating. Appreciating beauty does not mean that the woman is better than the wife. And flirting does not mean the man is serious. The wife was probably not as jealous so much as "mad" that a woman would come off a bit flirty when she was there...if you were doing that. And if you were in some revealing bikini, then women tend to consider that "slutty" and disrespectful when in the company of married men. As for women getting to know women their husbands are around, I find this to be true. One coworker who I found very hot introduced HERSELF to my wife to as she told me later "to reassure her that I am not someone to worry about." THAT is one incredible woman. My wife also will introduce herself to women that I work with...not because she is really worried, but it does put a damper on the possibility. Does it hold off the OW? Not necessarily, but for me...it dampens my enthusiasm because I know my wife knows her. I am confused. Does Lizzie go out trawling for married men? I am sorry but that made me laugh. Have you read any of Lizzie's threads? She is one of a kind, and no, that does not mean necessarily a bad thing. I always enjoy reading your threads, Lizzie. If I lived closer, I am guessing I would enjoy chatting with you. BUT...for some reason, I don't think my wife would be thrilled with that idea. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 Why the confused face? I'm 100% sure. That's how sure. If you (general you) knew him, or any man with class, you'd understand. While he might appreciate the beauty of another in passing, the man doesn't "ogle." This can be very true. I know I do not ogle women. I may give some an extra glance, but I do not need the extra stress of an affair...nor do I want one, and I do not know of any reason that "ogling" will bring me any satisfaction. It is really not an ego boost to me. And what do I hope to achieve? An extra glance and a smile says, "I think you look good." Ogling says, "I want to have sex with you." There is a big difference. One is respectful, while the other is disrespectful. Ogling can even be degrading. I asked my wife that question a couple of weeks ago, "Do you ever think I stare at women too long around you." And her answer was an honest, "No." I highly doubt she worries about it when she is not around. Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 The chicks you are glancing at might want to steal your wallet. I tend to stare more at really hideous people...... really I do. Ted Bundy was hot huh? Link to post Share on other sites
BareGoddess Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 The chicks you are glancing at might want to steal your wallet. I tend to stare more at really hideous people...... really I do. Ted Bundy was hot huh? That's so funny about starting at the hideous people! I think a lot of people do that. Ok, a4a did my H ogle you when we met? Because he admitted to me that if he were single he'd do ya! And you know what? It didn't bother me in the least. It's the sneaky, not upfront ones you have to worry about. Oh and I told him "Hell, if I swung that way, I'd do her too!:p" James, yeah I don't worry at all about him when he's not with me. I can't imagine being with the type of man where you have to constantly worry about such a thing. Not my kind of man. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 I tend to stare more at really hideous people...... really I do. Especially the over fifty crowd that attempts to dress like they are 20-somethings. Delusion comes in lots of forms. Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 That's so funny about starting at the hideous people! I think a lot of people do that. Ok, a4a did my H ogle you when we met? Because he admitted to me that if he were single he'd do ya! And you know what? It didn't bother me in the least. It's the sneaky, not upfront ones you have to worry about. Oh and I told him "Hell, if I swung that way, I'd do her too!:p" James, yeah I don't worry at all about him when he's not with me. I can't imagine being with the type of man where you have to constantly worry about such a thing. Not my kind of man. I was not aware of any oglishness on his part. He was fun to chat with and a gentleman. Let's just all "do" eachother. Link to post Share on other sites
BareGoddess Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 I was not aware of any oglishness on his part. He was fun to chat with and a gentleman. Let's just all "do" eachother. Oglishness! That's nice of you to say, thanks A! I'll be sure to tell him you said that...or will I? Hmmmm:p You little swinger you! Ha ha. Link to post Share on other sites
OldEurope Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 If everyone could get over Lizzie's confidence ... Self confidence? A more validation-seeking, insecure woman I have yet to "meet"... Have you not noticed that every time some guy looks at her or she sees the W or long-term girlfriend of one of her men, she is on here telling us how unattractive (horse-face, etc) that woman is in comparison? And so on and so forth and all the rest...? She is unmarried and secretly p-off about it, and is out to prove that marriage is a "sham" by seducing whom she can when she can as a means of reducing her feeling of no one committing to her. That is all I read in her posts. Self confidence? Laughable. No, marriage is not for everyone. But I notice that the OWs here--the few--who might not "believe" in marriage are not on here trying to persuade us every two minutes how really really really really really sexy they are. I mean, enough already. These threads should really be about advice--giving helpful advice or constructive criticisms. Not for Show and Tell sessions. xo OE Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 Shoot. I’d dump the whole bottle of Viagra in his Metamucil, slip the girls a fifty to go rattle his dentures on the shuffle board court, while I spent a peaceful day swiping his credit card at the slots. $$$$$ :bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 Oglishness! That's nice of you to say, thanks A! I'll be sure to tell him you said that...or will I? Hmmmm:p You little swinger you! Ha ha. I will "do" him in exchange for him sending you and I on a all expense paid vacation (does include our bar bill and full use of credit cards). Hell he can even video tape it and watch it in HD while we are on vacation. I bet we would have fun alone on a vacation and I don't mean "fun" like most people mean fun...... I mean actual fun..... not carpet munching, not that you are not carpet munch worthy..... just I don't eat my friends..... 2 legged or 4 legged. Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 Then again, woman AND men betray their best friends all the time. Not any best friends of mine. Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 Looking at a woman does not equal cheating. Appreciating beauty does not mean that the woman is better than the wife. And flirting does not mean the man is serious. The wife was probably not as jealous so much as "mad" that a woman would come off a bit flirty when she was there...if you were doing that. And if you were in some revealing bikini, then women tend to consider that "slutty" and disrespectful when in the company of married men. As for women getting to know women their husbands are around, I find this to be true. One coworker who I found very hot introduced HERSELF to my wife to as she told me later "to reassure her that I am not someone to worry about." THAT is one incredible woman. My wife also will introduce herself to women that I work with...not because she is really worried, but it does put a damper on the possibility. Does it hold off the OW? Not necessarily, but for me...it dampens my enthusiasm because I know my wife knows her. James you are absolutely right. Not only does it help the W realize that I'm no threat, but it also helps ME out at work - I get treated better by the MM, neither one of us has to worry about any "undercurrent" of inappropriate emotions surfacing (if there's any flirting going on, both sides know it don't mean a thing!) - and we get a lot more work done. Good for us, good for the company. End of story. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 Looking at a woman does not equal cheating. Appreciating beauty does not mean that the woman is better than the wife. And flirting does not mean the man is serious. As for women getting to know women their husbands are around, I find this to be true. One coworker who I found very hot introduced HERSELF to my wife to as she told me later "to reassure her that I am not someone to worry about." THAT is one incredible woman. My wife also will introduce herself to women that I work with...not because she is really worried, but it does put a damper on the possibility. Does it hold off the OW? Not necessarily, but for me...it dampens my enthusiasm because I know my wife knows her. totally agree James!!! In fact a woman who would "bitch slap" her man because he is talking to other women or a group of women while on vacation is exactly the reason why some of us women prefer to reach out and put other women at ease, because otherwise they are far too insecure to deal with. A smart woman will reach out to other women in hopes that they will understand that they are not a threat, men are not children, bitch slapping to me denotes a controlling and very insecure character. A MAN in the true sense of the meaning should not have to see "bitch slapping" in order to act apropriately do you want to be his "mother" or gf / w? A man should be given enough freedom to be himself and not have to feel like he is being yanked tightly in the cojones by his partner. If he is not respectful enough to treat other people in a fashion that is not crossing lines and disrespectful to his woman then maybe it's time toevaluate why you are with that man. In the mean time if he does some looking or innocuous banter that could be misinterpreted as flirting it's up to him to not cross lines not YOU to bitch slap other women. I don't know, maybe I have too much pride but I would rather another woman take my man away than to throw a hissy fit infront of my man to on top of it elevate him and the other woman 10 feet higher and dig myself into the ground. I guess it is a matter of prefernce really. I get jealous from time to time but believe me, both the woman in question and my partner will be the LAST to know that. James - glad you made that comment about how it dampens the excitement if you see your W and the other women are friendly, women need to hear that from men so that they stop being so damned catty over nothing. Seriously women if you are THAT insecure that your man can be snatched away by the first pretty woman that enters the room, you probably should not be with him. Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedMM Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 Everybody glances. Those with a healthy libido ogle. Those with a healthy libido who won't admit to ogling are not being honest either with themselves, others, or both. That is the nature of human sexuality, we are curious, adventurous, we enjoy sex itself for its own sake. I'm sure someone will chime in and disagree at this point, but please, hear me out- It's when ogling becomes leering when the line is crossed. There is a fine line between the thoughts- "If I were single, wouldn't she be fun? Oh well." which is only natural, and "If I could do her and get away with it, I will", which is the desire to do something you know is wrong. I think the advice was great, why should anyone sit around and allow horrible things to happen if there were anything that could be done to attempt to prevent it. Instead of beating up on men for having a sex drive almost as powerful as women, isn't it more logical to accept that fact and deal with it in realistic ways? Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 Seriously women if you are THAT insecure that your man can be snatched away by the first pretty woman that enters the room, you probably should not be with him. Thank you, Tomcat. I agree. I also think the idea of having to introduce yourself to every female within close proximity solely for the purpose of “eliminate a potential threat” also paints women as being neurotic and insecure. Sure, if you’re the friendly sort who likes to meet and make a stranger feel comfortable ... than go for it! But if you’re doing it under the presumption that you have something another woman might feel “threatened” about, ... then that “insecurity” is within you, and your simply projecting. OR ... you’re just conceited and self-important. Honestly. Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedMM Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 Being secure is a good thing, of that there is no doubt. However, being complacent is not being secure. It helps to base that security on something concrete that you know, rather than simply something you assume. The old 'trust, but verify' thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted January 31, 2008 Author Share Posted January 31, 2008 Only WF, James and TC really understood my post. I didn't flirt with her husband, never said I did, but she said something very rude to him after I joked with him about something.. we were all having a good time... I know he was attracted to me.. just by the jokes, etc... I know these things.. I'm not stupid.. I know when a man is interested or when he's not.. the other guy wasn't ... I felt it. He was madly in love with his wife... only been together for 7 years, each their 2nd marriage. Her and I clicked a lot.. she was a very nice, warm woman... the other couple was nice as well... all very friendly. We spent a lot of time with these 2 couples during the 2 weeks. The next day, I went to her and excuse myself for the joke, thinking I had hurt her.. she assured me she wasn't mad, and we hugged. She said she wasn't mad (but I think she was.. at her husband)... for being a little too friendly with me. I never thought one second of going with her husband because they were nice people, and I felt she was very insecure but sooo soooo nice. I really think it work in a way, to be friend with a woman you feel insecure with... around your husband... We exchanged emails yesterday.. she wants to come and visit me some time... I know we will keep in touch. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted January 31, 2008 Author Share Posted January 31, 2008 Not any best friends of mine. I agree.. NOT all friends betray their friends. I would NEVER ever betray a friend... Friendship is the MOST precious thing in my life. Men come and go... friends stay by your side forever. I can honestly say that with my 2 best friends.. (we've been friends for over 50 yrs with one and over 40 yrs with the other) it IS 'till death do us part'... Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 I agree.. NOT all friends betray their friends. I would NEVER ever betray a friend... Friendship is the MOST precious thing in my life. Men come and go... friends stay by your side forever. I can honestly say that with my 2 best friends.. (we've been friends for over 50 yrs with one and over 40 yrs with the other) it IS 'till death do us part'... wholly crap Lizzie how old are you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted January 31, 2008 Author Share Posted January 31, 2008 wholly crap Lizzie how old are you? 55 last summer... sh*t.. I hate my age... Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 55 last summer... sh*t.. I hate my age... Not to be mean but you will have to retire soon. No matter how good you look....... guys have an age thing. Link to post Share on other sites
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